jgrayson_au Reviews

Shakespeare Live! From the RSC (2016 TV Movie)

Keep the remote handy, you'll need it.

[6/10 · 10 May 2016]

This review is going to be very subjective, and in fact, if I can sum it up entirely, I'd say watch it by yourself and fast forward the bits you don't like. Because by catering for "everyone" it means there's bits you're not going to like.

One of the things that they tried to do with this "celebration" was to show the importance of Shakespeare by how it influenced other works. Personally, I think it failed. The very first thing we saw was a West Side Story song and dance number. I can see what they were going for I guess, but I think it lost the point. It was a celebration of Shakespeare, not Shakespeare's cover band. It'd be like going to see The Beatles and instead having some pub band playing songs that they wrote because they liked The Beatles. We wanted John Paul George and Ringo.

Well, in this case, we wanted Shakespeare. And that's the rub. Between the ballets and the operas and the songs (done with varying degrees of success) the overall runtime left, in my opinion, more filler and less Shakespeare. It left me wanting to see King Lear or Hamlet or heck, the Complete Works of Shakespeare Abridged.

There were some great performances. Sir Ian McKellen was the stand out performance giving a powerful speech about immigrants. Sanjeev Bhaskar and Meera Syal (from Goodness Gracious Me) nailed Much Ado About Nothing in a fantastic comedic / tragic scene. And the stage actor, Paapa Essiedu, played an amazing Hamlet for the famous To Be or Not To Be.

It's essentially Shakespeare at the Proms. And there are good bits. You'll just need to either put up with, or fast forward, the boring bits.

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

It's really good, but still flawed.

[7/10 · 30 April 2016]

As I write this, I think Captain America Civil War is still to release in the USA. It's sitting at #89 on IMDb and it's been universally loved. I really love the MCU as a collected whole, and Captain America Civil War is one of the best, but if I'm going to review it honestly, it's still flawed.

Flaw 1: Action scenes in shaky cam. Was Paul Greengrass a cameo director? The first couple of fight scenes were very hard to see with camera movement. And after ironically seen the trailer for Jason Bourne I was looking forward to dolly shot action sequences. Nope. They were very "Bournesque." The now famous airport battle was thankfully rather still (I'd imagine due to the heavy CGI), but the earlier fight sequences would have been far better shot if we could have seen the action.

Flaw 2: Minor Spoiler. The character motives. The motives for the fight with Civil War, especially at the end, was very personal. For all 3 of the main characters - Bucky, Stark and Rogers - it became a personal battle. I think this was a flaw of the Civil War issue. The reason Civil War was so brilliant a story arc in the comics was that it was ideological. The movie had tones and set up the reasons, but by the end it became a personal grudge match. And worse, the characters behaved in ways that seemed to contradict their own actions earlier within the movie. Stark was especially guilty of this by the end of the movie. Overall it was an "acceptable" plot, but it would have been nicer to keep closer to the ideological battle of Civil War.

Flaw 3: Major spoiler. The ending of the film. In the comic, the end of Civil War sees Captain America die. Crossbones and Agent 13 (Sharon Carter) kill Rogers. I am highly surprised this didn't happen in Civil War, and I thought it would have been a tie into the MCU to allow for Mystic / Time powers to be introduced to "resurrect" Rogers pre-Thanos. So as the movie starts with Crossbones and then Agent 13 is in place soon after, I felt the movie was building up to it. And then nothing. Why? If Captain America's death wasn't the end of Civil War (as it was in the comics), why were those scenes needed in the movie. Crossbone's battle made some plot sense, but Agent 13's place in the movie was superfluous. In fact, it would have been more interesting without her, as her only role was to return the equipment to Falcon and Rogers. They instead could have used Ant-Man to steal them, since he is a criminal. Good setup wasted.

Final Thoughts: And here then is the rub. It's not a perfect movie if you try to be critical, especially if you know the source. But it's also really good, with great action scenes, especially that airport scene. The fighting felt heavy. The punches really felt like they were hurting because the emotions were there. It wasn't just some random alien, but it was our Avengers we've spent the last few movies getting to know. I did enjoy it, I'll go back and watch it again.

Dragon Age II (2011 Video Game)

It's no Dragon Age Origins.

[6/10 · 15 March 2011]

Short review. Not as good as the first, not terrible. 6/10.

Long review. So, you've bought... you did buy it didn't you? You've 'bought' Dragon Age 2 and loaded it up. What to expect? Well first of all, you're a different protagonist. The Hero from the first game (IE you) is now a story told by bards and chatty NPCs. Instead you play Hawke, a male or female human only.

The first thing you'll notice is the lack of elf or dwarf. Sorry fans of ears and fat guys, you're outer luck. I chose a rogue. That's when I noticed the next thing. No hot-switching between ranged weapons and melee. If you want to switch between daggers and a bow, pause the game and change it manually.

Of course, that's assuming you're playing on an ATI card. If you're playing on Nvidia, you're likely to be listening to the audio pause whilst the game freezes for a second. First day bugs that were there in the demo months ago.

The plot is the saving... oh wait, it isn't. The plot is there, but it's weak. The side quests are actually more interesting then the main plot.

But luckily the combat system will take your mind off the plot. The combat is waves of bad guys. Fight a bunch of thugs, then just when you think it's all over, like a space invader a new spawn of bad guys appears. I guess then the only advantage is the game is a lot simpler in combat and not as many tactics. You get ample supply of tactic rules, allowing you to 'program' your NPCs for virtually any situation. And they removed the ability to hold from individual party members. Either all your NPCs hold firm or they all move freely.

Look, overall it's not terrible. I've played far worse RPGs in my days. But I've also played better. This feels like a consolised, simplified, rushed version. It feels more like a large DLC to DA:O rather then a sequel. I gave it 6/10 as compared to DA:O, I could probably give it 7/10 if it was a stand alone game, but expectations to RPG of the Year and Game of the Year do matter.

Here's hoping they don't stuff up Mass Effect 3.

Vigilante (II) (2008)

In a nutshell, terrible.

[3/10 · 14 November 2010]

I'm not sure who the people giving this 8 and 9 are, but they didn't watch the same movie I did. So, what can you expect.

The acting is B grade (or lower). The sound is terrible (I think every punch in the movie has the same sound). Colour is off. The writing is poor and unbelievable. But, worst of all, the plot sucks.

And that's really the most important thing in a low budget movie. You can put up with bad acting or bad sound, as long as the story is something fresh and new. That's how Mad Max and Saw came about (and to a lesser extent, Paranormal Activity and Blair Witch).

But Vigilante's plot is almost a carbon copy of The Punisher, and even then it's not original.

If you happen to live in Qld (Gold Coast) you might find a redeeming feature by seeing 'your town' on the screen, but for most people, just watch the Thomas Jane / John Travolta version of The Punisher (which in itself is flawed, but much better).

Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010)

Not bad, but not serious enough

[6/10 · 21 October 2010]

One of the few books I actually read in high school, and cover to cover at that. Whilst I haven't read it in a few years, my memory is that the book starts out like a typical teenage story, then the war hits and they all mature after what they see and do.

The movie is different then, because in the movie, they still act like teenagers. They have conversations and act in ways that are simply not believable. A lot of these lines are groan inducing, things that wouldn't be out of place in an Arnie movie.

Perhaps worst of all is the final scene of the movie. I won't spoil it (but it is in the trailer anyhow), except to say the final scene feels like a really bad B-grade action movie.

I remember a particularly powerful part early in the book (that's also in the movie) and realising "ok, this isn't fun and games anymore". The movie seemed to shy away from that, still keeping the tone of the movie at an adolescent, silly level. In fact, it would switch. One moment, serious, the next, back to a teen movie again. The brilliance of the book was that it starts out as a bunch of silly teenagers then they all have to grow up and deal with this very serious event. In the movie, they still seem to act like they're at summer camp.

Overall it wasn't terrible, but the potential for the storyline was lost. It felt more like a TV series pilot, rather then an emotional coming of age movie.

6/10

Jim Jefferies: I Swear to God (2009 TV Special)

Steer clear if you're very Christian

[8/10 · 26 March 2010]

I absolutely loved this. Jim Jefferies could be reading my mind, because I to am Australian and an atheist, and Jim pulls no punches. If you are an atheist, or if you're a Christian but don't take it literally, you can probably watch it and enjoy it. He does also pick on other religions, but Christianity wears the brunt of it.

However the religious humour dominates the first half. The second half works into a large story involving a specific sex act that I can't talk about on IMDb, but lets just say keep the kiddies elsewhere.

I should also add that, being an Australia, Jim swears like an Australian. So if you don't like swearing I'd steer clear.

As for the specific humour, the humour is "working class" and brutal, raw, in your face humour. As in, sexual abuse, physical abuse, child abuse, and so on become part of the jokes.

Defiantly not for everyone. The jokes will potentially offend and the subject matter is taboo, but if you can get past it, it's incredibly funny.

Brothers (I) (2009)

Miscast, cheesy and predictable mess

[4/10 · 25 March 2010]

Starting with the casting, and already errors arise. Whilst I'm aware that Toby was born in 1975, he looks too young for this roll. Even Natalie Portman looks a bit young, but watching Toby, especially in the opening scenes, breaks the false reality. Toby is playing a captain, when half the privates look older than him.

Moving on from the casting, we have the story itself. It's rather predictable and slow moving. I could sum up the entire movie in about 2 paragraphs. What angered me most of all was they hinted at some potentially interesting side stories, none of which was expanded upon. The movie sticks to the main plot line, which is only about the emotions of the characters.

The dialogue is also quite predictable. Some of the lines and situations are just painful to watch. In fact the only scenes I found 'real' were the one with the friends in the kitchen. The conversations between the main characters all seemed strained at the best.

If the movie had taken the plot, and actually showed things that were talked about (for instance, how Jake ended up in jail), I would have been more forgiving. There would have been more 'stuff' in the story. As it stands though, the movie is a bare bones emotional story, with frankly not much going on, no side-stories to keep you interested, bad dialogue, and poor casting. If this had no-name actors in it it'd be on the Hallmark channel.

4/10

House M.D.: 5 to 9 (2010) Season 6, Episode 13

Can understand critics, but I loved it.

[9/10 · 9 March 2010]

I can understand people hating this episode. It's not a normal house episode. Instead of being about House and the medical mystery of the week, this entire episode is from Cuddy's perspective.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. To see from "across the fence" the craziness of the House team, as well as how Cuddy makes the decisions from limited information on the spot, was brilliant. On top of that we got to see the drama in Cuddy's day to day work life. Also it should be mentioned that, for us guys, there were quite a few, shall I say, beautifully framed shots of Cuddy for our viewing pleasure.

I can understand people not liking this episode. People that don't like the Cuddy character, or don't like 'alternative' episodes could probably tune out. There wasn't a great deal of plot advancement and if you missed this episode no great loss.

But for fans of the show, or fans of Cuddy, or simply people wanting to get a more 'filled out' cast, this was quite a good episode.

Mind, Body & Kick Ass Moves (2004– )

Absolute Rubbish

[1/10 · 30 December 2009]

I was hoping for a documentary in the vain of "Warriors" on the history channel. That is, a documentary about how the different martial artists practice their arts, how they work, and so on.

Instead we are presented with a 'documentary' that has more religious garbage in it, in the guise of 'mysticism', 'chi', and 'body energies'. After about 2 minutes I had enough, but having recorded it on the PVR, did a 'flick through to see if it gets better." It did not. The 'finger wrestling' was my favourite I think. The 'kung fu' master would wrestle with his pinky and 'throw off the centre of gravity' of his assistant, then the host would try, and fail. But at a 'touch of the master' the assistant would again roll over because: 'I could feel the energy. It was something X-files happening there."

Why is it that martial arts requires spiritualism? Why is it that we need to convert to "chi" in order to understand why person X can punch really well?

If you're after a good documentary about the martial arts and their methods, this isn't it. If you're after a show about chi, energy, and other hocus pocus garbage... step right up.

Criminal Minds: Fear and Loathing (2007) Season 2, Episode 16

Truly excellent episode

[8/10 · 4 August 2009]

Firstly, a negative. This has flashbacks and on-going plot devices carrying over from the previous 2 episodes. So watching it stand alone can be somewhat annoying.

That aside, this is a fantastic episode showing the outcomes of hate speech and rhetoric. Without spoiling the episode, there is an interesting outcome from abuse of media and politics; along with the normal hunt for a serial killer.

Perhaps the only downside to this episode is the actual hunt for the serial killer plays a bit paint by numbers. Overall though, one of the highlights from the second season of this great show.

Realms of the Haunting (1997 Video Game)

A review looking back from 2009.

[7/10 · 8 May 2009]

Found a copy in a bargain bin sale of this old time classic. I played it with dosbox on a vista machine without any issues. It's graphically dated heavily, but what do you expect for a 12 year old game! The game is a FPS/Adventure game hybrid. It's what I call pseudo 3D, you can't look up or down, just spin in 360 (think Wolf3D). Game play can get tricky with a very limited supply of health pots, and a somewhat average interface (Tip: Press I), but on the whole it's passable.

One main strength of the game is the mood. There game heavily uses full motion video, and whilst the acting is b-grade and the plot is very choppy, the game as a whole feels genuinely creepy. It also does a good job of making you question the 'good guys'. Are they really helping, or are they just waiting to stab you in the back? The other major selling point is the games length. There are from memory 18 chapters, which range in game play time from 10minutes to, potentially, hours. My first play through took me a week with some serious devotion of time.

Dated, yes, but if you missed this years ago and can find it for $5, give it a look. Cheaper than a movie, and more entertaining than most movies.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

By appealing to masses, it fails.

[4/10 · 8 May 2009]

I can see what they did.--- They wanted to make a movie that was still H2G2 in a sense. "Wacky, zany, bizarre" etc. But then they wanted it to appeal to the masses. Trillian and Arthur end up in a love story, Zaphod's turned into a prick, the plot is changed a bit, and the inclusion of slapstick humour. Even some new characters where made by DNA for the movie.

You need to remember that H2G2 in every version has contradicted itself. Each form is a different entity, so this movie should be regarded in that sense. I can see what they did.---

I personally don't like the movie much. I am a dyed in the wool fan of the books. To be fair, there are some things I do like in this. I think Zoe was exceptional as Trillian. I thought some of the visuals of the movie were brilliant. It is these parts, and the 20year slog, that gets me to a 4/10

There were moments of greatness, and it's in that that I am most upset. The greatness shows what COULD have been. A H2G2 movie could have been brilliant, but with the changes to the source; for fans of the original, it's average.

The movie I feel was tailored to a new audience. The humour feels closer to American humour than British. I'm not sure if this was intended or not. The changes where made to make it a stand alone 2hr movie with enough 'normal points' to keep non-fans happy. I don't know if it worked. I don't know if new audiences, that had never read the books (or played the game, listened to the radio, or watched the TV series), will enjoy the humour.

What really worries me is that people will see the movie, think it's terrible and than write off every other format. That would be the ultimate disgrace to DNA.

Fans will find this from average to terrible. Everyone else I only pray they seek the source.

Watchmen (2009)

Simply Brilliant

[9/10 · 15 March 2009]

First up, an acknowledgment. I've never read the graphic novel. So my review is entirely based on the movie. Short version, 10/10, and simply brilliant.

For a starters, this movie --is not kid friendly--. This is a story for the adults, and it is well worth it. I've taken my nephew to see Ironman, The Incredible Hulk etc, this is not a movie in the same league, not even really in the same genre.

To describe the movie's plot, I feel, is to subtract from the whole. There are many things going on at once, and when talking to a friend I described it as "Pulp Fiction" in a comic book universe. On reflection, this really seems to me an accurate description. Whilst there are some 'comic book' moments of action and fighting etc, this movie is all about the story. There are a handful of stories going on at the same time and, honestly, each and every one was great.

Do not be fooled by the 'comic book' nature of the movie. The story line is one of the greatest I have seen in a while, where, at the end of the movie, I left wondering which 'side' I would choose. There is virtually no 'good guys and bad guys' situation, each character is a 3 dimensional person with flaws, good points, and bad.

Will be seeing again two or three times. Simply brilliant.

B.T.K. Killer (2005 Video)

IMDb needs a zero.

[1/10 · 2 March 2008]

Very few movies are deserving of a 0/10. There's almost always some redeemable feature in all films, despite their appalling nature. Battle For The Year 3000, for example, had some comedic parts with the 'favourite' meal being rats, and some decent one liners.

BTK, deserves to be given the death sentence. BTK deserves zero. BTK should be considered a act of torture if shown to people. BTK is just that bad.

It was, in fact, so bad it led me to graffiti the blockbuster video case with the following message.

"Of all the movies I've ever seen, this is the worst. Save your money, bash your head into a brick wall for the same effect."

There is a famous thought exercise along the lines of; "Could a million monkeys at a million typewriters create Hamlet?"

BTK has inspired a new one.

"Could a single chicken at a keyboard create a worst script than BTK".

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)

Decent, but less than the first one.

[4/10 · 6 January 2008]

This review contains potential spoilers to both National Treasure movies.

The first National Treasure had a quite precise plot line. We knew who was the good guy, who was the bad guy, and who laid the treasure hunt out in the first place (that is, the Masons).

With Book of Secrets, this is where it comes unstuck. Gone are many of the puzzles, and a cohesive plot. We have a bad guy (Ed Harris) who switches between wanting to kill the heroes, and saving their lives, within scenes. And we don't truly even understand who laid all the hard work for the treasure hunt in the first place.

With all that said, it's still decent. It's still got much of the same charm and characteristics of the first movie. If you liked the first one, you'll more than likely like this one too, but it probably won't be as good as you hope.

The movie suffers mostly from a lack good script consistency. However due to the success of this movie, and other things that happen within this film, there is a potential set up for another National Treasure. If they do make a third, a clearer defined script will bring the series back on track.

All round, it was decent. 6/10

I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

Strong rape revenge movie

[7/10 · 4 December 2007]

There be SPOILERS here.

OK lets get some facts out. * Yes, it has the longest rape scene in any movie (at about 30minutes) during which time she is raped 4 times) * The director made this movie after he helped a rape victim in real life * Although the rape scenes are very long, they aren't overly exploitive, they are mostly shot on the rapists or Jennifer's faces.

On with the review. I first rented this film when I was like 15/16 cause it was "Banned in Australia" (I'm an Aussie) and figured it's gotta be good. It was in the horror section. I've since then seen it on DVD, and watched it with commentary on as well.

Pigeon-holing ISOYG into a category is difficult and somewhat impossible. The movie's plot, that is Jennifer gets raped than murders the rapists, is the entire movie. There isn't a sub plot or virtually anything else going on. It's simply rape and murder. It's for this reason, and the very long brutal rape scene, that many critics have panned it. Ebert in particular wrote a scathing review saying how appalling it was.

I disagree. ISOYG has a exploitive subject matter, and there is nudity, but it doesn't ever show the rape as a titillation. The nature of the film was 2 fold. Firstly to show the brutality of rape, than to have a 'happy' ending with the revenge of Jennifer. But it's not a softcore porn. So what purpose does it hold? I think the answer is, very few movies show the truly horrific nature of rape, especially when ISOYG came out. Since then, we've had Irreversible, War Zone, even Pulp Fiction to a lesser extent, all show some brutal scenes, but I think ISOYG was probably the first.

It's not a good movie, it's not a bad movie. It's not an in depth plot and it's not very titillating. So what is it.

ISOYG is probably best considered a benchmark. It's a movie that the director said 'I want to make a movie showing the brutality of rape'. ISOYG did what nothing had done before it.

Now, 30odd years after it came out. I'd say see it for the sake of seeing it. It's an important movie to see so you can say you've seen it, even if you loathe it.

Black Hawk Down (2001)

GREAT! Watch it with commentary on if you can.

[9/10 · 24 November 2007]

OK up front, I am going to review this in 2 ways, as a movie, and than as a 'war movie'. As they are somewhat different in a sense.

As a movie: A great, damn near non stop action movie. Very realistic, often brutal, violence. If you're an action movie junkie you'll love it. Whilst I cannot watch this just as a movie, if you are looking for an action flick, this is incredible credits to credits.

CONS: Alas, the only downside, for me, is Eric Bana. Perhaps it's because I am an Australian, but between his dialogue, script, and accent I found him to be distracting and annoying. Luckily, he's not in it very much.

As a war movie: Having said that, you HAVE to remember this is real events and real lives. Whilst I'm sure some people can watch war movies as a movie, I cannot divorce myself of the real events and the knowledge or real lives lost. In that regard, the 'realistic' violence I mentioned before does not boost my adrenaline, but scares me silly.

I own the 3 disc DVD. And as great as the movie alone is, the ability of the movie to move the soul when you see the struggle of the soldiers is amazing. About the only movie I can compare it too is the Shawshank Redemption. What I am talking about here, is mostly with the audio commentary of the returned Veterans. The real men (women?) that were there on the day and risked everything to save their fellow soldiers and finish their mission.

I cannot hope to give the full details on the commentary, but you learn an infinite amount more than the movie, and their struggles are sheer mind blowing.

I urge you, if you can, to watch the movie with the commentary. To at least begin to learn what the brave, amazing, troops do for their country and their fellow soldiers. It truly moves the heart.

Incidentally, it's perhaps poignant to note I'm NOT an American. I believe if I were the effect would be greater still.

House M.D.: One Day, One Room (2007) Season 3, Episode 12

A thinking episode.

[9/10 · 5 October 2007]

This is my favourite episode to date, but I can understand people not liking it. In much the same way as MASH used to have 'funny' episodes and 'serious' episodes, this is very much a serious episode.

**Slight Spoiler ahead** This episode sees house 'treating' a rape victim. I love this episode because it touches the core of modern day medicine. The holistic approach. If someone is physically healthy, is that enough? These days it's not enough to re-attach someone's limb, you need to help them through it too. House has to help her cope, and come to terms with, her rape; and in doing so faces some of his own demons.

Having unfortunately known people to have been raped, I thought Kateryn's portrayal was spot on. Perhaps the only let down was the side story about a dying homeless man, which took emphasis off the main story and removed the flow.

**Spoiler off**

Overall, the episode is a much darker episode due to the nature of the case, may not have as many fans. I've seen some reviews about this being the worst episode ever, and I can understand why they said it, but I still disagree. This is the 'thinking man's' House episode. The medicine this time is psychology, not phsiology. The first episode where house truly heals someone.

10/10.

The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005 Video)

Softcore Porn with some (bad) horror.

[3/10 · 1 February 2007]

Take a porno, minus anything hardcore, downgrade the acting and insert really bad horror, and you get this movie.

Basic plot - Slight Spoilers Some guy rapes a girl at a slaughterhouse(not filmed, told in flashback), then is lynched. He either doesn't die or does but comes back in a Freddy Grueger style, and than kills anyone that goes to the slaughterhouse and/or says specific lines.

First in 1993? a couple go there to get it on (opening sequence). Guy dies and the chick beheads Sickle and flees (but his body disappears). Then the major part of the movie starts. A bunch of drunk teens years later go there for a prank, but they stumble upon 'Sickle'. There are some major incontinuities with what will / won't kill Sickle and what brings him out.

As for the porn: There were, from memory, 3 topless chicks in the movie, however 2 of them had a 5 minute lesbian kissing seen at a party that had no plot piece, just titillation. Other great points were when one chick (but to keep the surprise, I won't tell you who), ends up with her shirt ripped and runs around breasts a bouncing, later to remove her skirt luring the savage Sickle. Purely for titillation this movie delivers.

Final thoughts. The movie also set up some plot points that simply went nowhere. What was the go with the "town bike" chick, or that project the kids just HAD to pass at school? Nope, nothing red herrings or just empty nothings. The horror was incredibly bad, only to be beaten by the D-grade acting itself. The gore was, well, non existent and very very crude (digital animation at it's junior high school level). I think there may have been one or 2 drops of blood somewhere. The acting and "empty" scenes which weren't needed except to take up space were, basically, the entire film. Looks like, and probably was, filmed by a bunch of friends on a non existent budget.

You know what your getting here. A movie to watch with your mates, argue over the hot chicks and crack up as people get killed. It's a D grade version of what could have been a decent B grade movie, but watch it for what it is and you should be happy.

3/10.

Incantato (2003)

A date movie with a twist.

[6/10 · 5 November 2004]

There is a very excellent little cult movie cinema just near my house. I saw The Station Agent and A Heart Elsewhere (advertised name) tonight for $11Aus (bout $5US). The first was great, check it out, different style comedy. The second, A Heart Elsewhere, was a very interesting love tale.

The story is about Nelo; a 35year old virgin, intelligent and charming Italian. Nelo is sent to teach at and, more importantly, find a wife at a distant college. His father was scared of him becoming gay like his brother (Nelo's uncle). After a few failings he starts seeing an incredibly beautiful and blind women Angela.

The movie revolves around the emotions and the rationalising of the two leads. The 'easy', vengeful, slightly money hungry Angela, and the sensitive Nelo. Nelo is warned by by everyone he knows that Angela is a man eater. Indeed Angela's behaviour is sometimes questionable, but the motives remain unclear. A quote for an example shows 'Make sure they see us leave together. I want them to see us. Why is Angela acting this way? The movie draws you into the two characters and their world.

I saw this as a date movie with my girlfriend at the time. But it's not just a romance movie. It's an interesting look at a number of concepts. The idea of love in general, a broken person only able to find love in another broken person. The way in which blindness was treated. It wasn't a love story in the champagne and strawberries and heart warming sense. It was a true life story.

Also, the scenery of the movie was breath taking. Each room in the movie had these spectacular murals and the shear beauty of the movie 'scenes' was like watching a moving painting. Even Angela is referred to as a painting within the movie. A comment that is very fitting towards her beauty.

With all that in mind, it's not for everyone. If you generally like your blockbuster actions or your Bridgette Jones's romances, you may not like this. If you do like a little class, and a thoughtful, left of norm, tear jerker love story. This is it.

One note. White subtitles on white. One day they will stop this annoying habit, but not yet!

Overall: 6/10 for general audience. 9/10 for targeted audience.

Paranoid (III) (2000)

BAD!

[28 November 2003]

I thought this WAS done by high school students, to add to a previous comment, and even then it would still be bad. The acting is horrible, worse than any soap. Plot is stupid, and partially confusing in minor details. Camera work unsteady. Lighting dodgy. Bad acting. Bad acting. Did I mention the really bad acting?

Surprisingly the one saving grace (besides the cute lead actress) is the lack of skill in the murder scenes. Most don't have any horror music, so the only noise you can hear are the victims screams of terror ("No please don't kill me no NO!" etc etc). Done accidentally I'm sure, but very very eerie.

Overall stay away from this horrible p.o.s but... if you are stuck between this and "the return of the Texas chainsaw massacre", I'd still say go for this.... anytime.

3/10

Miss London Ltd. (1943)

Sexy and funny classic.

[4 November 2003]

I was born in the wrong century. Watching this movie is like flipping through a FHM 100 sexiest models. OK enough about the girls, what's the movie like.

Quite funny, actually.

The man male lead, Arthur Bowman (Arthur Askey) has to save his escort business. Arthur's humor is greatly inspired from Groucho Marx and word play. Many excellent quick wit remarks, that if you blink you'll miss, such as:

Terry: He's a wealthy bachelor. Arthur: That's why he's wealthy.

And my favorite, when Arthur attempts to propose: Arthur: Oh, I wish I was Clark Gable for 15 minutes Terry: Why, so you could boast about it for the rest of your life? Arthur: No, so you could.

Perve, comedy, singing. That's right it is still a musical, but some of the songs themselves are quite funny. Terry (Evelyne Dall, a beauty) sings "Cool, Calm, and Collect" about taking money (the collect in the title) from older gentlemen visiting the escort business that just want to jive.

All round very cool.

Live Nude Girls Unite! (2000)

Educated girls are so hot!

[3 August 2003]

I taped this like any good Australian male seeing something advertised with Nudity on SBS (Special Broadcasting Service, world channel). Having been used to getting such great films as the Weather Girl and Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down, how could I go wrong with Live Nude Girls Unite!?

I did. The titillation factor went clear out the window when I started getting really ticked at how these beautiful (in all ways), intelligent women were being handled like a commodity. I started rooting (ahem) for them, wishing their union on, wanting to start my own strip club so I can run it properly!

Such is the skill of a good documentary. Yes I'll admit the film quality isn't going to put Dreamworks out of business, but the girls struggles to have decent work ethics is astonishing.

See it, not for titillation, but to watch the underdog struggle. It's good watching the oppressed win, and this has it in truckloads.

Deadline (2000–2001)

Arrgh It's Canned?!?!

[31 December 2002]

Typical, just when we here in Australia get the show, I find out it's canned. Saw it for the first time last night (new years eve) at like 2am. Excellent show. Oliver platt is a genius, Lili Taylor is one of the most underated actors (and lookers!) around and the show had exceptional writing. I was just about ready to say stuff sleep, stay up and watch it, and I find out it's been dumped. Darn! NBC - FOOLS!

The Young Poisoner's Handbook (1995)

Bliss Black Comedy

[8/10 · 19 November 2002]

This is an excellent movie. A true black comedy with outstanding performances not just from the actors, but director, set design, score, hell even the grip was good!

In a nutshell, it follows the life of Graham Young, a highly intelligent youngster who just happens to have some moral flexibility. Namely, he loves poisoning people.

Although this sounds gruesome, it is a well thought piece, where you generally feel for our Mr. Young. The autobiographical, past tense voice over blends well with the late 60's settings and a blue tinting gives the aged appearance.

As for the movie itself, if you are a fan of black comedies, if you enjoyed Gross Point Blank, you should find this an excellent movie.

(Spoiler Alert)

My only grip with it is that it ended to soon! At 99min it's not a short movie, but you generally fall for the characters in this film. I wanted to know what came of his father and sister or his queen from his youth.

(End Spoiler)

Without a doubt one of the best films I've seen on tv for a long time, and better still it was on ABC (non commercial channel, ie no ads!) Find it, watch it and enjoy! 9/10