Sun, Apr 21, 2013
Frank and Sadie Doyle are enjoying an evening alone in their swank suite at the Plaza Hotel when they're interrupted by the apartment's former tenant, noted miser Slapert Frowl. He's been visited by the ghost of his former partner, who warns him of upcoming visitations by three more ghosts. He offers the Doyles a miserly sum to deal with the ghosts, which they refuse. The first ghost, Christmas Past, arrives at the Doyle's apartment anyway to take Frowl off to learn a lesson from the past. He's unable to finish the process, distracted by his infatuation with the second ghost, Christmas Present. She consequently arrives on the scene, and angrily tells Past that she refuses to be defined by him. She points out that she's an English literature major who reads, gardens, and She then insists on taking Frowl to see his impoverished employees on Christmas, which is impossible since, as Frank points out, it's now mid-January. As Past tries to convince Present to collaborate, and Present insists on her independence, she lets slip that she may have feelings for the next ghost, Christmas Future. Future arrives, and threatens to take Frowl to his gravesite in the future, where he's died after many years as an alcoholic. Frowl is unfrightened, since he never drinks. Present and Future have a tense moment in which Future turns down her advances. Frank convinces Past that he should re-focus his obsessive love on a past crush, Susan, instead of Present, and Past goes off into the night to find her. Sadie tells Present that she can be a strong woman who gets the man she wants, just like a Jane Austen novel heroine. Present leaves to go read the books she's always been meaning to get to, and Future slumps off since there's nothing left for him to do. Re-invigorated by his survival of the haunting without having learned any lessons whatsoever, Frowl reveals the real purpose of his visit: to pick up his mail. He finds an old package from his estranged father - a bottle of whiskey, of the exact time that Frowl was accused of stealing on Christmas as a child. His dying father offers a reconciliation, which is impossible since the package is so old that the father must have already passed. Frank and Sadie recommend that Frowl open the bottle, try a drink to drown his troubles, and share a glass with them.
Sun, Jun 16, 2013
Mason Grance comes to the Doyles' door, utterly desperate. He's been bitten by a Robbie the Roughhouser doll and fears he's turning into one. As Frank and Sadie look on, he transforms. Mason then bites Frank. When Sadie leaves the room to get medicinal alcohol, Franks transforms into a Robbie doll as well. Sadie returns, and Frank opens the door to let in even more Robbie dolls. The dolls begin roughhousing, and Frank and Sadie realize they must find the alpha doll to break to curse. Frank questions the other dolls, and Sadie slashes its throat with Occam's Razor. The curse is broken, and the dolls transform back into their human selves.
Sun, Jul 14, 2013
Sadie Parker and Basil Valentine are art thieves. Basil constantly tries to convince her to take the next step in their relationship (either moving in together or becoming engaged), but Sadie is hesitant. Bobo arrives, and is surprised to see Basil. He then summons his genie, telling him that his wish didn't work out they way he'd wanted it to. Bobo found the genie's lamp a few years previous and (after taking some time to figure out how it worked), he wished that Frank Doyle had never existed. He believed that this would enable him to be with Sadie once more. Basil, after hearing that Sadie had in fact married someone, concludes that she would be happier with the way things had been before Bobo made his wish. He steals the lamp and wishes for Bobo's wish to be reversed and to have his memory wiped of his time with Sadie. Sadie wishes that she would be able to remember. The genie grants both wishes and sends them back to how things were before Bobo made his wish.
Sun, Sep 8, 2013
Frank has to go to the dentist, which he hates and had to get blackout drunk to do. He's woken by Greta, the receptionist, who tells him about her failed relationship with the dentist, Dr Frankenstein, and how she used to be his hygienist until she suffered a terrible car accident that destroyed her mouth. The doctor repaired her mouth, and she became engaged to Curtis, who nursed her back to health. While examining Frank's teeth. Frankenstein tells him how he repaired Greta's teeth - he used the teeth of the criminally insane. Frankenstein then calls Greta in to prove there is nothing wrong with her. Geta tells them about the 32 voices in her head that command her to kill at all times, and seems to have them barely under her control. Her fiance, Curtis, stops by for a teeth cleaning, and she send his off to the store to get rope with which to tie her down (so she doesn't kill anyone). Frank realizes that her murderous impulses are set off by Curtis, and Frankenstein manages to convince her to become his hygienist (and lover) once more.
Sun, Oct 27, 2013
Frank and Sadie continuously wake up surrounded by full martini's and, wanting to investigate the matter, pretend to sleep to discover the culprit. They discover elves have been making the drinks in order to feed off the Doyle's happiness. This seems like a good deal to the Doyles, until they learn that one of the elves plans to feed their souls to the Grentel.
Wed, Nov 20, 2013
Frank and Sadie eagerly await the return of their son, Junior. He arrives, wanting them to act "as a family". After they put him to bed, Sadie confides in Frank that she believes they have been enchanted. They break free of the hold the magic has on them. "Junior" reveals that he is actually Pinocchio. Geppetto kicked him out, and when he wished on a star for a new family, the Blue Fairy sent him to the Doyles. The Doyles summon the Blue Fairy and discover that she has been getting her energy from frustrated wishes. They reunited Pinocchio and Geppetto, which causes a feedback loop of wish energy and she explodes.
Wed, Nov 20, 2013
Frank and Sadie's afternoon is disturbed by a knocking from their bedroom door. It's Catherine, Frank's long-dead first love. She explains that she has been trying to return ever since she was killed by a Calaca, but had been held captive. If she receives true love's kiss (from Frank), she will become a human mortal again. Although Sadie is encouraging, Frank hesitates. The Calaca returns, having followed Catherine. After it threatens to kill both Catherine and Sadie, Frank shoots it with Checkov's gun.
Sun, Dec 15, 2013
Frank and Sadie's doorman, Theodore, proclaims visits the Doyle's apartment. He declares love for Sadie and says that Frank does not deserve Sadie. He attempts to give Sadie a bottle-shaped Christmas present as he declares his love. Sadie brushes him off, quite secure in her love with Frank. The Doyles then notice that there's a Christmas tree in their apartment which they didn't order or put up themselves, with only bottle-shaped gifts underneath. Despite Frank thinking it's a bad idea, Sadie begins to open one of the gifts. A Santa arrives, and Frank berates Theodore for his poor door-manning skills for the past several years. Theodore says he hates his job so he's drunk most of the time. The focus shifts back to the Santa, who says that he's not "the" Santa, but he was cursed, and now he's one of three Santas in North America. By Sadie opening the gift under the tree he placed in their apartment, she is now cursed to be a Santa and it breaks him free from the curse. The Santa wants more than anything to stop being a Santa, calling it hell on Earth and he spends most of his time sleeping, throwing up, and trying not to cry. If he gives a gift that's someone's heart's desire, and have it be accepted, that person will become the Santa and he'll go back to normal. Sadie mentions that although she accepted the bottle of liquor, the curse didn't work on her, as she never finished opening the gifts. Theodore jumps in and takes the gift from her, then finishes opening it to save her. Theodore begins to turn into Santa, but Santa turns into the Doorman. Theodore reveals that he, too, was cursed, long ago by a witch doctor when he failed to do his job watching and protecting the children of his tribe. Theordore was cursed to stand watch, forever. Santa and Theodore have merely switched places, and now the former Santa is now the Doorman. The two leave together to have a drink before their new jobs start.
Sun, Jan 19, 2014
Frank wonders if Sadie has ever wondered what their lives would be like had they never met, and Sadie responds that she'd be an international art thief of moderate renown. She explains to Frank how she actually remembers a life where that happened, in the events of Art Imitates Life. Frank becomes jealous just as there is a knock on the door. Sadie opens the door as Frank asks if the gentleman at the door was present in the genie-begotten world. Sadie affirms that he was, as Basil Valentine enters the apartment. Basil does not remember his life with Sadie, but does remember Sadie as they knew each other when they dated in college. Frank also recognizes Basil, as he's now a preeminent archaeologist and Frank is suddenly a fan of archaeologists. Sadie asks Basil what brings him by, and Basil first wonders why Frank and Sadie keep making veiled references to something. Basil then explains that on a recent expedition he encountered something terrible, and Frank and Sadie's names came up when he began asking around for someone who can help with the darkness he encountered. Basil's daughter, Kimberly, has been possessed by a demon who escaped when Basil excavated an ancient tomb and told Kimmy to come take a look at the weird phenomenon. Frank and Sadie bring Kimmy, possessed by Gormanger, to the bedroom and tie her to the bed for safety during the exorcism. Both Frank and Sadie attempt to exorcise Kimmy but neither are able to. They each also have a conversation with Basil, vaguely referencing Sadie's life with Basil, while the other attempts the exorcism. Gormanger says that in order to leave Kimmy alone, he insists someone else summons his sister demon Krakoroth to inhabit their form. Despite Frank and Sadie's protests, Basil summons Krakoroth. Gormanger and Krakoroth proceed to bicker over a broken vase from like, 20,000 years ago getting broken. Sadie then brokers peace between the two and has them apologize to each other, making amends. They decide to go tear a group of people apart together until Sadie threatens to summon the demons' mother. Despite Frank's protests, she almost does summon the mother into herself, but the demons, terrified of their mother, agree to leave peacefully. Basil thanks Frank and Sadie as Frank unties Kimmy. Basil asks again what it is they aren't telling him, but Sadie tells Basil it's better he doesn't know. Basil agrees. Frank and Sadie hug, and agree to never be apart again.
Sun, Feb 16, 2014
Frank and Sadie are visiting Donna Henderson at her Park Avenue apartment, having drinks and keeping her company while Dave is working on a big case. There's a knock at the door, and K.C. and Margie Corker enter. They inquire if Donna and the Doyles have put any thought into the afterlife. You know, fire and Brimstone and Water and Nutmeg? Despite several attempts to eject the Corkers, they stay and continue to prepare Donna and the Doyles for "what's coming", the end of the world. The Corkers announce that the Old Ones are being reawakened, and the oldest Old Ones will be inhabiting Donna and Dave's daughter, as she is the best vessel, having come from the most unholy union. The Corkers show the Doyles their literature, a book made with a cover of human flesh. Donna cannot thrall the Corkers, as their faith is too strong. The Corkers say the moon will go out, the ocean will scream, birds will die, cats will bark, and everyone present will be ripped asunder. The Doyles are not able to stop the ritual from being performed as it's being enacted in 5 houses around town, forming a pentagram, and Donna's home is at the center of the pentagram. After a small delay, the rite is finished, and the Oldest Old One arrives. He tells the Corkers that a lot of the old ones have passed on of old age, while some have retired, so he's the only one that came. The Old One says he just doesn't have "it" anymore, and the Corkers give him an inspiring pep talk. Donna reminds the Old One that fitting into a baby is going to be a tight squeeze and destroying the world is a lot of work. The Old One is torn, and welcomes the debate and other opinions. He asks Frank and Sadie their opinions, as they aren't related to the baby. The Old One calls K.C. a tattletale and starts to dislike him. Frank and Sadie note that nobody went insane when they saw him, and maybe something could go wrong when inhabiting the baby. They suggest giving inhabiting a practice run and to pop into something else. Sadie suggests a few items, and the Old One chooses to climb inside a nearby lamp, to practice. He gets into the lamp, despite it being cramped. Before he can get out of the lamp, Sadie turns it off. She has Donna unplug it, label it and store it in the attic to be never turned on or plugged in again, trapping the Old One in the lamp forever. KC and Margie are devastated, and with their faith shaken, the Corkers are easily thralled by Donna, who drinks their blood.
Sun, Mar 9, 2014
Frank and Sadie accidentally summon the spirit/famous urban legend Bloody Mary while talking about cocktails. They briefly pretend to be scared (which they find a lot of fun), but soon bond with Bloody Mary over liquor and gossip that she's picked up from the various teenage sleepovers that she's been summoned to. Mary feels another group of teenagers summoning her and, wanting to stay with the Doyles, manages to resist. Unfortunately, her resistance pulls the group of teenagers to the Doyle's apartment instead. Rather than force the Doyles to have to put up with them, Mary tries to send the teenagers back to their sleepover, but for spell to work she would have to go with them. The Doyles bid Mary farewell, promising to summon her again soon.
Tue, Mar 11, 2014
On the eve of Valentine's Day, Frank and Sadie decide to take a break from the supernatural interruptions in their lives. However, there is a knock at their door and, despite Frank's reluctance, Sadie's curiosity gets the better of her (she hopes it's a puppy, or an Eskimo, or a puppy in a parka). It's Cupid, who has come to ask for their help. Although their love isn't his doing, he does find them inspirational, and he needs that inspiration to help him with his plan to win back his lost love. Cupid had fallen in love with a mortal woman named Penelope Pepperdime, and despite his best efforts at choosing a mortal form to woo her, she rejected him. As a last resort, he used his arrows of love on her to force her to love him (which was cheating) but instead of falling in love with him, she died. Cupid realized that someone had switched his arrows out for the Diana's (the goddess of the hunt). Cupid wants to Doyle's love to help him go through with his plan to return to a mortal form so that he can die and go to Hades to bring Penelope back to life (thus convincing her to love him). Although the Doyles are skeptical that this plan will work out the way Cupid wants it to, they agree to help (by holding hands). Believing the switch to have been made by Diana, Cupid declares that he is at war with Diana and will have vengeance on her before he goes to Hades. Diana appears and, after mocking Cupid and the Doyles, declares a war on him as well ("one, two, three, four, I declare a god war!"). The Doyles retreat to the liquor cabinet on the opposite side of the room from the fighting gods (which was, in its' former life, a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf with rolling ladder). Mercury appears, and tells the Doyles that he switched Diana and Cupid's arrows as a prank. He's made himself invisible to the other gods, but visible to the Doyles because he wanted someone to share in his joke. The Doyles, not finding Mercury's prank particularly funny, tell Diana and Cupid what Mercury has done. Mercury reveals himself but tells them that it's too late as Cupid and Diana have already declared war on one another. Frank and Sadie introduce the gods to the concept of taking back things you just said, and Diana and Cupid end their war on each other, and Diana shoots Mercury. Unfortunately, since she was using Cupid's arrows, Mercury doesn't die but instead falls in love with Cupid. The Doyles convince Mercury that, out of his love for Cupid, he should help Cupid to rescue Penelope from the underworld. Cupid and Diana switch back arrows, and the gods leave.