Sun, Mar 18, 2012
Teenage Evan talks to Mr. Pepler, who is afraid of him, and adult Evan says that ever since all the kids in the county ended up in the cornfield one night, all the adults in town are terrified of the teenagers. That night all of the kids' hair had turned bright white, their eyes had gone pale blue and they acquired ungodly powers. Mr. Pepler begins to bleed, and soon dies painfully. Teenage Evan swears it wasn't him that caused Mr. Pepler's death. Frank and Sadie Doyle arrive in Maize county, looking for a liquor stand that sells corn whiskey, as they on a world tour of liquor drinking. Evan immediately develops a crush on Sadie. They notice Mr. Pepler, still bleeding from all his orifices. Several other adults walk by, also bleeding and in agony, then disappear suddenly. Evan insists that none of these occurrences were his fault to Frank and Sadie. Evan tells them about the strange powers that he and all of the other kids possess. Frank and Sadie attempt to talk to Evan, but do not come to an understanding. When a schoolbus crashes nearby, Phil emerges from the bus and says he's the one that killed all the adults in the county. Phil and Evan fight, and the voice in Evan's head stops narrating and attempts interact with Evan. The voice tells Evan to kill Phil. Evan and Phil fight with their powers, but Evan wins, killing Phil. The adult Evan narrator and voice urging Evan to kill reveals himself as Nightmares the Clown. As usual, Sadie finds Nightmares hilarious. Nightmares explains that he could only return after he gave all the children in the county powers and all of the children used the powers. Now he can manifest in physical form again. (The rules are arbitrary, but they are what they are.) Nightmares threatens to eat Frank and Sadie. Frank suggests that Evan uses his powers to bring everyone back to life. The energy used in bringing everyone back to life drains Nightmares of his life force, and he shrinks to teensy size. Frank stomps on Nightmares, killing him again. The children of Maize county return to normal, including losing their powers, and as a thank you for bringing everyone back to life the townspeople give Frank and Sadie their corn whiskey.
Sun, Apr 22, 2012
While Sadie is at a health spa, Frank is called upon by Sister Mary. She asks for his help defeating a supernatural creature and, wanting to do something before Sadie returns home, Frank agrees. When he arrives he refuses to help as Father Lancaster owes him an apology for what happened with Catherine, and also because they're asking him to kill a baby. They believe this baby will bring the apocalypse. The baby's mother, Donna Henderson, arrives and she and Frank form a plan to save her baby. Donna turns the clergy into vampires, and Frank leave in time to meet Sadie as she returns home from the spa.
Sun, May 20, 2012
Frank and Sadie awake to find a goat in their apartment. The goat has a note attached (from themselves) telling them that the goat is very important and must be protected. A Chupacabra comes to their door, pretending to be a farmer and asking for the goat. Although the Doyles are initially reluctant, and so the Chupacabra tells them the story of how he was once a handsome prince. His love for Carlotta, a peasant girl, angered a witch, who tricked them eating enchanted apples. The apples turned him into a Chupacabra and Carlotta into a goat. The only way for him to break the curse would be to drink all of Carlotta-in-goat's-form's blood. Touched, the Doyle's give him the goat. He drains the goat's blood and it turns back into Carlotta, who is distressed by his monstrous appearance. The witch appears, telling them that the only way to change the Chupacabra back into a prince would be via true love's kiss. Carlotta does not want to kiss him. Frank and Sadie, wanting everyone out of their apartment, spot a fanny-pack on the witch, where she keeps an emergency apple to reverse the spell. The point it out to the Chupacabra, who drains the apple with his hollow fangs and transforms back into a human.
Sat, Jun 16, 2012
Frank and Sadie run out of liquor and scour the apartment for more. They discover an old bottle and, wanting to read the label (for "professional curiosity reasons") they rub the bottle, releasing a genie. Frank and Sadie wish for liquor, and the genie gives them an unending supply. The Doyles are now perfectly content, but the genie insists they have two more wishes. Frank and Sadie refuse to use them, which causes problems for the genie as it means he can't complete his job.
Sun, Jul 22, 2012
Frank and Sadie travel to Egypt to get a jade cat statue as a gift for their friend Chachacat, the fire demon. They encounter several booby traps, however as crocodiles and snakes do not live to be thousands of years old the Doyles are not harmed. They reach the burial chamber and get the jade statue. While there, they inadvertently wake Kathuset, the mummy. He's enraged that Bast, the goddess he loved and worshiped, has not come to him, and he destroys his shrine to her. Bast appears, and threatens them. The Doyles call Chachacat to help them, and he and Bast hit it off.
Sun, Sep 16, 2012
While window shopping, Sadie spots a rare rum bottle in the window of a shop. She and Frank enter, and meet two other customers - a ballerina and a solider. When Sadie buys the bottle, she becomes trapped in the store as well. After speaking with the other trapped customers, the Doyles realize it must be the work of a fairy godmother's spell and that the fairy must have become trapped by her own spell. Frank buys a wooden stake and stabs Sergeant Booker, the fairy godmother. Free of the spell, the Doyles return home.
Sat, Oct 20, 2012
Howie visits Frank and Sadie to ask for their help exorcising the ghost of Peter, their dead childhood friend who is haunting him. Peter wants vengeance on Howie, as he believes his vote was the one that caused him to die (Wishing Hell), although he does not blame Frank. Frank becomes suspicious when Peter gloats over Howie's fear ("you were the best of us"), and Sadie draws a sigil to summon the real reason for the haunting: Nightmares the Clown. Nightmares is using the fear produced by Howie to give him enough energy to return. The Doyles try to calm Howie so he stops being afraid. However, they also become scared when a bee gets into their apartment. Howie uses his bee keeping knowledge to chase the bee out, but the Doyle's fear was enough the give Nightmares the last bit of strength. As he threatens them, Frank and Sadie trap him in a sigil and, in exchange for releasing Peter and being in their debt, they secure him a job in Hell.
Sun, Nov 11, 2012
Count Desmond Cross comes to the Doyles for help, as he has been unable to feed for some time and is dramatically weakened. Carysle Ravencastle and Creighton Lavoisier appear and try to put the Doyles under thrall to get them to not help the Count. Unfortunately, they don't have enough power to put both Doyles under thrall at once. Ravencastle reveals that he has come back from his second death when Creighton rubbed his blood in Ravencastle's ashes (to see what would happen). Doing this put Creighton under Ravencastle's thrall, and made Ravencastle a double vampire. Ravencastle took revenge on Count by stopping him from putting others under thrall, thus weakening him. Ravencaslte tries to erase their memories and drink their blood, but he still only has enough power to keep three of them in thrall at once. Ravencastle switches the thrall around, and when the Count is free he drains Ravencastle's blood, and then Creighton's. He attempts to drink the Doyles' blood as well, but Sadie stabs him through the heart with a stake.
Sun, Dec 2, 2012
Frank and Sadie are visited by the ghost of past, present, and future Christmas, who mistake them for their apartment's previous occupant the miserly Slapert Frowl. The Doyles then need to untangle who is owed what, bad Christmas-wise. It is a part of The Full Christmas Episode from December 2011.
Sun, Jan 20, 2013
It's the hottest day of the year, and Sadie and Frank visit an ice-cream store, Norville. Norville claims to have a talking dog, and tells Frank and Sadie about the murder spree. Believing him to be the murderer, the Doyles try to leave but are interrupted by Norville's brother who is a gingerbread man. The gingerbread man knocks out the Doyles and they wake up tied to chairs in the back room of the store. He reveals that he is the murderer, driven mad by questioning his own humanity.
Sun, Feb 24, 2013
Main Story Part One Frank and Sadie Doyle are visited by a mysterious man who wants to tell them three stories. Being as they only opened the door believing their liquor order was about to arrive, they are reluctant until the stranger tells them that they themselves are the subjects of the stories. Naturally, they relent. First Story The first tale finds the Doyles on Valentine's Day (not that they know that), receiving a call from their friend, Detective Dave Henderson. He calls them down to the station for a most unusual case: a young man suddenly dead, wizened and aged, and the prime suspect in the interrogation room at the precinct. After mistaking the place for a bar, the Doyles finally get around to asking Dave what he wanted, only to have him declare that he no longer needs their help or cares about the case, and he has fallen in love with the suspect. The Doyles are upset by this, as Dave has a wife and child, and go to see the murder suspect, who is quickly revealed to be a succubus, a female creature who consumes the frisky energy of humans to live. Almost as quickly, Frank and Sadie fall madly in love with her as well, She reveals that Valentine's Day is special to succubi--If they find true love, they can become human. Since succubi can make anyone truly love them, all she needs to do is find out who is the best. Frank, Sadie and Dave vie for her affection as she rattles through her preferences, but finally she chooses Dave because she likes his hands. With a sudden attack of conscious that also happens to get them what they believe they desire, Frank and Sadie shut Dave out of the room so the succubi will be forced to take them instead. This angers her, and she decides to suck all the love out of them until they are damned to oblivion. However, she gets more than she bargained for, drinking the Doyles' love. It's far too strong for her, and she explodes. Main Story Part Two The stranger concludes the story and the Doyles break for drinks during a theremin solo. Upon returning, they discover that their exchanges with the stranger are counted as a story as well, which seems like a ripoff. Regardless, he begins the next story. Second Story Frank and Sadie are attempting to enjoy their martinis when the unthinkable occurs: their liquor is transformed to that most vile of substances--wine. After a frantic check of their stores, only to find every bottle filled with wine, they discover a note. It's an invitation from Bacchus to a party... and their doom. They go, transported by magic, to the Olympus Club. They are at first barred from entry, but Frank manages to fast-talk the waiter into believing he is a wine connoisseur. Once inside, they are greeted by Bacchus, the Roman god of wine and revelry, and his girlfriend Freya, the Norse god of death. The two gods tell the tale of their meet-cute and speak of how much they love each other, and conclude with their problem. The Oracle says their love is not the most perfect; the Doyles' is. They challenge the Doyles to a game of charades officiated by the Oracle, the stakes being their booze or their lives. The Doyles accept, winning the first two of three rounds handily. Freya gets upset and The Oracle reveals that she will kill them no matter if they win or lose. Frank and Sadie immediately plan to lose on purpose, but Freya magics the ability to do so from them. The Doyles take the last round as easily as the first two, but then manage to talk the gods into admitting they would die for each other. Frank reveals that he would not die for Sadie, and therefore their love is inferior and there's no reason to punish them. Bacchus is confused, but Freya is pleased and the Doyles are returned, booze intact, to the Plaza Hotel. At home, Sadie is cross at Frank for what he said until he reveals that it was of course a lie - He'd slipped The Oracle a twenty to let them off the hook. In retrospect, he notes, given that The Oracle has omniscience, it was all probably about that twenty. Main Story Part Three The second tale complete, the story-telling stranger reveals himself. He is no man at all, but a monster: a Will o' the Wisp that has dragged them in with stories to consume their souls. Frank and Sadie Doyle then laugh right in his dumb face--Hasn't he been listening to his own tales? The Doyles have faced far worse than his like and come through intact. Their souls belong to each other. They send him packing and close down the show with the song "Our Love is the Best."
Sun, Mar 17, 2013
Frank and Sadie are compelled to attend a book club. Once there, they realize that it is not a book club but rather a coven of witches (which Sadie discovers by using her family's multiple choice test). The witches are out for revenge for the time the Doyles foiled their plan (Goatbusters). The witches try and fail to make the Doyles to go into the oven. The Doyles, still under the witches' spell, offer to enchant an apple that would force them into the oven. They bite the apple, but it's a trick - they've used a granny smith, which reverses the polarity of the spell. The Doyles turn off the oven but force the witches into it until they no longer want revenge.