Foustarino Reviews

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Blood, blood, some guts and brains and burning flesh, but what is the point?

[6/10 · 31 March 2006]

I've always loved desert movies. And road trip movies. And even some slasher flicks. But come on, this new version of "The Hills Have Eyes" is a complete waste of money, time, talent, and natural resources. Think of all the people working on this film, the time it took from their lives, and the chunks of the Earth's crust that went into creating it and you have to stop and wonder, what the hell good could it possibly do? Well, one quick answer is that audiences are treated--though all too briefly--to the beautifully talented Ted Levine and Kathleen Quinlan. Remember Ted Levine as the beastly bad dude in "Silence of the Lambs"? He receives his filmic revenge here when the cannibalistic mutants have at him.

So, aside from the veterans Levine and Quinlan, some great panoramic shots of the good ol' desert, and one subtle, sweet scene between Quinlan and her kids on the topic of "The Chronic," this re-make doesn't contribute much to the well-being of Americans--as the opening credit sequence leads audiences to believe it might. Wes, where are you buddy?

Trout Grass (2005)

A documentary for fun and education with eye and ear candy. Sweet!

[10/10 · 29 March 2006]

You don't have to be an avid angler to enjoy this documentary about the magical process of hand-crafting fly rods. The China footage alone is enough to make one marvel. This brilliantly shot film captures rural Chinese culture only a few Westerners have seen. Add to that some amazing underwater cinematography and beautiful Rocky Mountain landscapes...Oh, and of course there's the captivating storyline--one that spans the globe to present viewers with the step-by-step process of melding a gigantic piece of Chinese grass into one of the most finely honed and responsive fly rods ever to be whipped over crystal clear Montana streams. You won't ignore the music, either. An interesting batch of trout-styled Bluegrass crossed with Chinese and Grungish twang will have you tapping along and later searching for the soundtrack on Amazon. Phew! Where did this film come from and why haven't you seen it?