seraphaxg Reviews

Super 8 (2011)

All Style ... No Substance

[3/10 · 8 July 2011]

Well JJ you've done it again! Once again I've been sucked in by the hype of all Abrams fan boys expecting a fantastic production with a deeply insightful plot, good character development, clever direction and enough action and story to keep me enraptured from start to finish (*cough* Lost *cough*cough* all over again *cough*) and instead I got Super 8. An overly long suck fest which start off looking like a mildly interesting story and, instead, slowly ... so slowly .. meandered it's way toward a pointless, less than satisfying outcome leaving more open questions than answers.

Worse still, you've dragged Mr. Spielberg along for the ride this time, so I'm being deluged with pointless special effects while I'm watching the plot slowly, pointlessly, crash and burn it's way to no sort of conclusion.

The only way you could have made this film even more pointless and self-indulgent is if you'd got M. Night Shyamalan in as a consultant to throw in the occasional, aimless, curve ball.

For me, the most disappointing aspect to this is the film had all the right ingredients- a moody setting, a bygone era, retro value, government conspiracies and strong special effects- but when packaged up into a story where the focus seemed to be on some of the pointless "Human interest" elements (childhood crushes, lost parents), and (I may be off the mark here) seemed to go out of it's way to leave questions unanswered ... that's certainly not why I go to see a movie. If I want human interest and unanswered questions I'll stick to real life ... or watch reruns of Lost- but for entertainment, I'll look somewhere other than Super 8.

The Road (I) (2009)

I can barely contain my disappointment

[2/10 · 10 January 2010]

Afer seeing this movie score 8+ on the IMDb rating system and seeing the line up of great actors (Duval, Theron etc.) I had high hopes for this movie. Sadly, this movie came no where near my expectations and I am surprised at the score this has somehow managed to achieve.

Whilst the acting and the photography were okay- the story and lack of substance in this picture left me feeling like I'd wasted an hour-and-a-half of my life on a film that was pretty much devoid of plot, thrills, twists or any follow-though on any of the scenes. Each scene felt less relevant than the last and I was less than gripped throughout still waiting for something of worth to happen as the credits started rolling.

The setting for the movie had such potential, and generally would be my cup of tea, other films that have tackled similar issues such as "I am Legend", "The Postman" or even, to some extent, "Carriers" have all portrayed a dystopic view of the future, but have also made the story entertaining and relevant. The Road has shared this vision, but provided none of the entertainment leaving a dull, meandering plot for the viewer to endure with a dismal ending.

See Jane Run (2007)

How disappointing was this film for you????

[1/10 · 26 October 2007]

I'm constantly amazed by the trash that people pass off as entertainment / horror- and this film is a prime example of just that. It was, in my opinion, neither entertaining or horrific.

I would suggest the acting is horrific, the lack of story line is pretty horrific and the camera work is pretty horrific- but as far as content goes, this is far from a decent horror movie.

I originally saw the movie when it was rated as 6.x on IMDb, and I was hopeful ... unfortunately, I was duped. I can only presume some poor so, and so, had seen the film and wanted someone else to suffer the pain they had in going to watch this poor attempt at a horror film. Well, I'm learning- I used to trust IMDb- but, as with most things in the public domain, the opinions are not controlled and anyone who rated this film higher than a "1" should really consider whether or not their faculties are intact. It was appalling, abysmal, awful, terrible ... I really cannot think of a single redeeming factor in the hour-and-a-half of my life that I will never get back that I spent watching this film.

If anyone can help me in finding a redeeming quality, please do so- I'm desperately looking for something positive to find in this film to justify the time that I spent watching it, but I can't for the life of me think what that could be.

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007 Video)

A big ole bite of a pooh samich!!!

[1/10 · 19 October 2007]

It's rare that I comment on films, but I really feel the need to say something about this pile of trash that has the cheek to, in any way, be associated to the masterpiece that is "House on Haunted Hill".

To start with, I watched the first one and loved it ... very creepy setting, atmospheric music supplied by Marilyn Manson, reasonable story line, good acting for the main part, slightly disappointing ending ... but all-in-all a worthy remake to a good horror film.

Return to house on haunted hill, well- I finished watching it and I felt like any hope I had left for the horror genre had been sapped from my soul over the hour and a half it took for this film to play out and finally come to an end. It felt like a life time- the plot was non-existent, the characters were awful, the acting was ... words escape me! The special effects were reasonable, but I just can't believe that anyone could, in good conscience, spend an investors money and turn out this heap of garbage. I really wish I hadn't seen it and I would advise anyone, who is a fan of the horror genre, to steer well clear.

It's only redeeming quality was it did finish, I just which I'd never started watching it in the first place.

You'll notice there's no spoilers in this review- watch the film and it manages to spoil itself plenty! Doesn't need my help.

Evan Almighty (2007)

Evan Help Us All !

[4/10 · 28 June 2007]

Well, I watched this film expecting to be rolling in the aisles ... how wrong I was. The film was moderately amusing, at best, and irritating at worst (the slapstick comedy styling of building an ark with archaic tools, laugh ... no I didn't). I'm very disappointed given Steve Carrel was the lead. I've watch the Office US religiously, cracks me up immensely, I thought 40 year old virgin was good ... but Evan 'elp us- why on earth did he accept this script. And, as for Morgan Freeman- he's old enough to know better.

So, the idea seemed reasonable, the actors I had every faith in- but the execution was nothing to write home about and the ending, well it seemed as if they had run out of money, or ideas. This for me was one of the most contrived endings I could have imagined. They took a biblical story and dumbed it down to a cautionary tale on localized environmental issues, not even global issues, but a local bill - yawn!

In summary, reasonable start, got gradually worse and, for me, it was all washed out by the time the credit's rolled.