DaShAg Reviews

Ip Man (2008)

Kung-fu at it's best !

[8/10 · 29 March 2010]

WOW ! That's all I could say while watching Ip Man (Donnie Yen) rapid punching someone's face trough the floor. This movie has some really brutal fight scenes with amazing choreography. I won't go deep into plot details, the synopsis is enough to read before seeing this movie anyways.

I'm not a kung-fuholic, I consider myself as a fan and I have done my part of checking out the most notable kung-fu movies but I have never seen one like Yip Man. The fights are so perfectly executed which is rarely seen. The movie itself is kind of a sad story as the plot progresses and this is a perfect excuse of checking it out with your girlfriend, she will like it ( mine did ).

Everyone and I mean everyone who likes kung-fu/martial arts movies should see it ! The fight with Ip Man beating up 10 karate dudes will make you rewind and watch again and again.

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

Good but not great due to Foxx and bad ending

[7/10 · 22 March 2010]

Clyde Shelton's ( Gerard Butler ) wife gets murdered in the beginning of the movie and justice doesn't prevail because one of the killers is only sentenced for 10 years. Clyde is angry as hell and will make sure the people responsible for the horrible trial of the killers will all suffer and die. So basically you got yourself a revenge movie here. Clyde is killing them and isn't even hiding it, he admits it. Nick Rice ( Jamie Foxx ) is the DA on the case and needs to find out what the hell is going on. Now the fun part is that Clyde is performing the kills from within his prison cell, he even has to sit out in solitary and is still killing people, now how cool is that.

I totally dig the idea of a highly intelligent man orchestrating kills on specific times and places from his prison cell, all planned ahead of time. If you're a smart ass while watching this movie you'll find out there are a lot of plot holes so I recommend you not to think it all through. Heads up for Gerard Butler, this guy is making some mayor progress on this one after some sh!tty movies last year. I think we'll be seeing more of King Leonidas in the future so hurray to that. On the opposite, Jamie Foxx is on a decline. Ray was an excellent movie but after that it's just bad. As Nick Rice the DA he is just one stone face mofo, no emotion no nothing. Jamie and the ending of the movie are the only 2 things that suck. The movie is just handing out it's surprises like candy, like spoiling your daughter's birthday present a week before her actual birthday. Watch it with a time progress bar and stop the movie before the last 15 minutes, then close your eyes and make up your own ending and I promise you it will be way better then the awful piece of movie you just skipped...

Ninja Assassin (2009)

Finally, a modern Ninja movie

[8/10 · 22 March 2010]

Ninja's are cool. Ever since I was a kid I am fascinated by Ninja's. Silent, quick and extremely deadly. However, there aren't many great Ninja flicks nowadays, all we have are classics. Back in the old days I used to rent a lot of dual cases VHS with eastern ninja movies. Not good but awe-some to see the ninja's wielding their Katana's. Then we have some Western Ninja movies like American Ninja, not great but we deal with it because that's all we have. The waiting is over, finally a Ninja movie done the way it should. Ninja's are nearly invisible, they can smell you from a dozen of miles and can hear one's heartbeat loud and clear. I want to be a Ninja ! Ninja Assassin has a really cliché hero story. An orphan raised by a clan of ninja's called the Ozunu has learned and mastered the Ninja way. One day his girlfriend who'm he has seen growing up within the clan decides to run, but get's caught and killed for breaking the clan rules thus making our hero Raizo ( Rain ) very angry. He turns his back on the clan and lives in the shadows to get revenge. In the modern world an Europol agent called Mika ( Naomie Harris ) finds out about this ancient Ninja clan and their recent killing spree's. At first no one believes her but that will soon change as she will find herself chased down by the Ozunu clan for sticking her nose in their business. And as you can guess our hero Raizo is there to help our damsel in distress. He sticks with her because she is his connection to the Ninja Clan he seeks for revenge.

Not much of a story and to be honest the dialog in this movie is pretty sh!tty too, as well as the acting that comes with it. But who cares, the reason to check this one out is for the action. I gotta hand it to them, they do a pretty good job. I don't know if you people ever played a game called Ninja Gaiden but this movie is basically just that. Limbs get cut off with ease with piles of blood, dozens of shurikens flying into people's bodies, Katana's, Ninja Outfits and great martial arts, that's what we want now don't we ! Ninja action at it's best, who cares if the story is boring, who cares if they act like they are in the Bold and the Beautiful. We want sword fights, cut off limbs, decapitations, shurikens yes we want Ninja's and that is exactly what this movie does, so hurray to that.

Idle Hands (1999)

Idle Hands are the Devil's playground

[7/10 · 15 March 2010]

Anton Tobias ( Devon Sawa ) is the laziest guy in the world. Still living with his parents, all he does is watching TV and smoking weed. He ran out of weed and unfortunately his friends won't bring it over so he has to get out of the house. At his friend's place he realizes he hasn't seen his parents for days, and it doesn't take long for him to find out they have been murdered. After some investigating he finds out he is the killer, although he has zero memory of doing that. That question will be answered soon because he finds out his right hand is possessed, living it's own life and it's out of control killing everyone. And so after his parents he kills his 2 best friends, really funny dudes named Mick played by Seth Green and Pnub by Elden Henson. But they get back, because they arise from the earth half dead, half alive to help Anton getting rid of the devilish power inside his hand.

I have to say, I dig stoner movies ( I'm from Holland so do the math )and this one just rocks ! Anton takes you with him on his adventure against his possessed hand and together with his 2 stoner buddies it's just one hell of a ride ! It has it all. Gore, Comedy, Romance ( did I mention Jessica Alba is freaking hot in this flick ). Also Seth Green is the star in this movie in my opinion. His one-liners hit the spot every freaking time I watch this movie.

If you dig Dark Comedy or stoner flicks like Pineapple Express this one is for you !

Braindead (1992)

Comedy-Horror at it's best !

[8/10 · 15 March 2010]

Lionel Cosgrove ( Timothy Balme ) is a shy dude in his twenties who has lived his entire life under the protective wings of his mother. This one day he's off to get groceries and meets this pretty girl who is the clerk at the grocery store. They soon have a date and are heading for the Zoo. Lionel's over protective mom has her thoughts about her son's new love affair so she follows her son to keep an eye them. But the zoo has a new addition a rare animal called a "Rat Monkey". Before she knows it she is bitten. After a day or two the wound has killed Lionel's mother but turns her into a flesh eating zombie. And this is where the fun starts. This flick just has it all. Over the top horror-comedy. You get to see zombies getting it on and giving birth to a zombie baby ! Now how cool is that. You'll get to see a zombie ass kicking kung-fu priest, intestines which can kill, a huge big momma zombie, a zombie with a spine in his ass with the head still attached so it looks like a scorpion zombie, a zombie with her face stuck onto a light bulb so she looks like a jack-o-lantern, a group of zombies getting ripped to pieces by a land mower, and many more which I will not spoil for you. Yes people this is a gore fest you'll never forget !

It's hard to believe that the director of the Oscar winning series "The Lord of The Rings" is behind this all but he is. And to be honest, it works. This movie if very entertaining and I promise, you wont be left disappointed. While this movie can't weight up to the great Special FX you have nowadays, it's way more fun then most of the Hollywood big budget blockbusters.

This movie is a must see for Comedy-Horror fans, but in my opinion everyone should see this one at least once !

Battlefield Baseball (2003)

To weird to watch, to rare to miss

[5/10 · 14 March 2010]

OK let me get this out of the way first. Before watching this movie I thought it was going to be something like Shoalin Soccer but then with baseball. It has some similarities yet it's a very different movie. It's less action oriented and much more goofy. Ridiculous songs, characters straight out of a manga and a story of a 5 year old. I was left disappointed because I totally dig the idea of baseball with kung-fu moves.

It is very hard to describe this movie but I'll try and explain why it's so goofy. Everyone who dies in this movie comes back. One guy even comes back as a cyborg, because of "advanced technology" haha. There are like 2 or 3 songs in this movie and they have the most ridiculous lyrics. Then you have this guy who is something like a legend because he has the best pitch ever. A super tornado pitch or something like that. Now this is exactly why I was left disappointed because I was waiting for him to kill 1 or 2 bad guys with his super pitch but you never get to see it, only in his memories.

It has it's funny moments but it's so damn goofy that you're sometimes scratching your head and wondering what the hell your watching.

Don't expect shoalin soccer with baseball, but if your into Japanese goofiness then don't miss it.

The 'Burbs (1989)

Don't mess with these suburbians !

[8/10 · 8 March 2010]

"The Burbs" is basically a satire about the daily life of suburbia, on a typical American street. The plot is very basic and won't be the reason to watch this movie. It's the characters, the suburbians that steal the show, portrayed by some awe-some comedy actors. And somehow it all falls on it's place and makes this movie a real enjoyment to watch. I've watched it a couple of times now and it still cracks me up, never gets old.

Tom Hanks takes the role of Ray Peterson, a man around his 30's. Got 2 kids, a nice wife and a great house on this peculiar street. Ray is on a 2 week vacation, but he doesn't feel like going anywhere. He tells his wife he just wants to spend his free time by hanging around the house, watching TV, doing basically nothing. His character immediately reminded me of a stoner, in fact they should've made him one. All that needed to be done was giving him a big reefer in his hands, and a couple of plants in the garden. Anyways, the house next to Ray has new people living in it since a month now, and the strange thing is that nobody ever saw a single one of them, nobody is ever leaving the house and no one has ever entered it. How do they get their food one wonders. So Ray and his fellow suburbians are going to find out who the heck those people are and what they are up to. His party members consist of:

Mark Rumsfield ( Bruce Dern ), a Vietnam veteran, still thinking as a die hard soldier and acting accordingly. For me this is the funniest character in the movie.

Art Weingartner ( Rick Ducommun ), The big mouth know-it-all neighbor. Who can show up uninvited just to get some food or a beer. He is the one that starts the conspiracy theories against Ray's neighbors. According to Ray's wife, Art's influence changed the person she married.

Ricky Butler ( Corey Feldman ), The high school kid. Enjoying everything that is happening in front of his house from the safety of his porch. He even invites his friends to come over and watch the show, while his brave neighbors are investigating the strange next door neighbors of Ray.

Further more you have your typical old grumpy guy, and the hot chick which happens to be Mark's wife.

So in this flick you are following these people in their quest to unravel the mystery of Ray's neighbors. Things get really intense when they find out the grumpy old man Walter Seznick ( Gale Gordon ) has disappeared and off course they all think the Klopeks ( Ray's neighbors ) have something to do with it.

The movie is full of great one-liners and colorful characters. You will constantly laugh out loud and will have the urge to watch it again.

Get this hidden gem and you definitely won't regret it !

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

A little Overrated

[7/10 · 5 March 2010]

I find this movie overrated, don't get me wrong here this movie is really really fun, but it's in the freaking top 250 !? To keep it simple, this movie is a zombie movie with a British comedy twist. And I find the first hour very good. You get to see some zombies killed, get some laughs and have a smile on your face. Specially with Ed, played by Nick Frost. His character is just mighty funny.

My complaint with the movie is that when the gang lock themselves up in the pub, the movie loses my interest. The ending is pretty dull to. I say again, this is by no means a bad movie, it's pretty darn good. But not good enough for a place in the top 250. It could have been so much better if they made this movie like the first hour and stick it full with cool zombie encounters, and not let it end with the pub scene.

Kudos for the acting and comedy. Very nicely done...

Recommended for every comedy enthusiast

Sahara (2005)

Great for people with insomnia

[3/10 · 5 March 2010]

I'm gonna keep this short and simple. In my entire life I've fallen asleep while watching a movie maybe a couple of times, that just happens you know and sometimes you re-watch it the next day. What never happened to me, is that I fell asleep 2 times on 2 different days with the same damn movie. That is the case with "Sahara".

This is probably the most boring movie I ever tried to watch. To be honest I've never completed watching it, because it makes my eyelids drop down like a garage door, and you wake up in the middle of the night, freezing and pain in the back.

To me this is the worst movie ever. Battlefield Earth is a masterpiece compared to this.

I recommend this movie to everyone who has a hard time sleeping on the couch, this flick works better then sleeping pills.

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Cult Classic

[8/10 · 4 March 2010]

I saw this movie for the first time around 13 years ago, I was just a kid. Back in the day me and my dad went to Videoland every 2 weeks or so and rented 10 flicks at a time for a week, VHS off course. For my age ( around 10 ) I was interested in very different movies then my classmates or friends. I always picked out action, ninja and horror movies, like Commando, Gremlins, Highway to Hell etc. This time I picked Demon Knight, as well as 9 other movies which off course I can't remember. But the funny thing is, I never watched a single one of them. Yes people, for 7 days straight I was sucked into Demon Knight. I was so impressed by this movie back then, that I watched it like 15 times in 1 week. For me this movie is a cult classic and is one of my favorite movies of all time. I grew older, so I know a "good" movie is something like Godfather or the Dark Knight ( generally speaking ) but the memories from this movie from when I was a kid are still engraved into my mind and I can watch it anytime with full enjoyment. Sorry for the small back story but I really wanted to try and tell why I love this freaking movie.

This movie starts off with a drifter named Brayker ( William Sadler ) trying to get away from a cowboy-like dude called The Collector, which is a role meant to be played by Billy Zane. This guy just nails it, and is definitely the star in this movie. After a car crash with a big bang, Sadler makes a run for an old church converted into a bar. This will be set piece for the whole movie. We find out that Sadler has a mysterious Relic and Zane is a demon working as a collector trying to get the relic back to his masters. Because before the earth was created it was ruled by demons, and they had 7 keys to keep the planet in darkness. Then god came along and divided the keys and drove off the demons. The key Sadler holds is the last one they need to bring back eternal darkness. I know it sounds cheesy and it is, but it doesn't really matter. Inside the key is blood, which can be used to seal doors and windows to create a blood barricade so the demons can't enter, this idea always fascinated me and I remember playing as a kid with colored water to replicate this tool.

This movie has it all. 8 People stuck in a bar getting attacked by the demons of darkness. You got your typical asshole Roach, the friendly old uncle Willy, local prostitute Cordelia, nerdy type guy Wally, big momma Irene and the young Jada Pinkett Smith adding some drama to this movie. But Billy Zane is king as the collector, an evil character with a laid back style and lots of twisted humor. After the first dull 15 minutes, sh!t will hit the fan when Zane just punches right through a police officer's head, Classic ! And it gets better, we even see an arm getting ripped off, brilliant. Zane brings out some demon sidekicks, really ugly looking bastards, but they look cool, to get into the hotel and attack. The lame thing is, that you need to shoot 'em in the eyes to kill them, I've seen that before. What I also liked about this flick was how Zane tries to bribe everyone in change for their souls. Uncle Willy for example got into a dream-like scene where he was surrounded by dozens of women, topless ! Awe-some movie people. Zane as star, and Sadler respectively second playing a believable character on the run for his life and that off the entire world. We see fists through face punches, arms getting ripped off, explosions, blood, demons, boobies. This is a classic !

The Box (I) (2009)

Like flavored chewing gum, starts amazing but ends tasteless

[5/10 · 1 March 2010]

This movie starts off with a couple waken up by the doorbell early in the morning. The woman Norma Lewis ( Cameron Diaz ) opens the door just to find out no one's at the door. But there is a mysterious box on the doorstep, and Norma brings it in. In the meanwhile Arhur Lewis ( James Marsden ) joins her at the diner table and together they unfold the wrapping paper to find a box with a big red button on top of it. On the box is a keyhole which needs a key to open up the top so you can press the button. They have no idea what it is or what it means but that will soon change.

Later that day a mysterious creepy man is at the door, Norma opens the door and the man presents himself as Arlington Steward ( Frank Langella ). He is creepy in the sense that he has a big open burn mark on his face in the trend of Harvey Dent ( 2-face ) as seen in the Dark Knight. He will ask Norma if she received the box and will explain what it is. Mr. Steward gives Norma a key to open the box, and she can keep the key with the box for 24 hours, in that time she will have to make a special choice. If she will push the button, Steward will give the family a staggering 1 million dollars in cash BUT someone, somewhere in the world will die. To gain her trust Stewerd gives Norma a 100 dollar bill and leaves.

So far so good, the first 30 minutes of this movie are good and interesting, and you will wonder what will happen if they press the button. The story has a great concept and is very promising.

Unfortunately the movie collapse under it's own weight of complexity in the remaining 75 minutes or so. It's not because of bad acting, although Diaz is terrible, Marsden plays OK but not memorable and besides, Langella sticks out with head and shoulders. It's not bad directing either. I loved Richard Kelly's Donnie Darko so we're not dealing with a beginner. The Cinematography and camera-work is good and the atmosphere in the entire movie is really well done. It's just that the plot is turning out to be way to smart, but yet it feels dumb and clumsy. At moments the movie is very predictable, and sometimes you are scratching you'r head about what the hell just happened. You keep on watching because you'll expect that the movie will fall on it's place near the end. Unfortunately this is not happening and the movie ends with questions unanswered. Kelly is probably trying to create something that people will talk about after the movie and on birthdays. But to be honest I didn't care about the characters and the story no more, the last 20 minutes took forever and I remember asking my girlfriend if they could please get it over with.

This movie is comparable to flavored chewing gum. It starts off with an explosion of flavor but as you keep on chewing the flavor is starting to go away and you end up with a dull tasteless piece of rubber in your mouth.

Highway to Hell (1991)

A good B-movie with a growing cult status

[7/10 · 26 February 2010]

Must have been 16 years ago since I saw this movie for the very first time, as a kid just 10 years old. Last week I made a trip to memory lane and boy did I got entertained ! Highway to Hell tells the story of Charlie Sykes (Chad Lowe) and Rachel Clark (Kristy Swanson)on a trip to Las Vegas to get secretly married. While driving on the Interstate Charlie decides to take a shortcut but finds out he should've listened to his girlfriend and just kept driving on the main roads. They stop at a gas station for a quick fill and have a strange encounter with the attendant and owner named Sam (Richard Farnsworth). He warns Charlie not to fall asleep on the road ahead, but as you can guess this is exactly what happened. He wakes up to find out a strange cop named "Hellcop" arrests them and takes Rachel with him. Charlie hurries back to the gas station and tells Sam the situation. Sam explains he has to get to Hell because that is where Hellcop took his fiancée.

Then the adventure begins ! As a Kid I just loved the creativity of Hell and it's citizens. There's a lot of comedy in this movie, like you see in most Horror movies from this era. Horror is a genre which doesn't fit this movie well anyways. There are even Cameo's of the Stiller's ( Ben (in one of his first movies), his father Jerry and his sister ). If you're into Comedy-Horror movies then you shouldn't miss this gem. It's very underrated and to a lot of people this classic has become a cult-movie. Take this roller-coaster ride to hell and I'm sure you'll have a big smile on your face at the end.