Bataeu Reviews

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006)

Disappointing

[4/10 · 8 October 2007]

Jack Black is a great actor. I've enjoyed everything he has been in so far, but this movie just didn't do it for me. His roles in films such as Orange County, High Fidelity and School of Rock were (in my opinion) his best roles. I was hanging out to see Jack Black play in a movie that involved him being part of a band and while his musical performance was brilliant in this film, the film itself was a let down. The humour was childish, and the bigfoot scene left me feeling embarrassed for some reason. Also, what is it with Jack Black and oral sex jokes in this film? I think there were about 5 mentions of "sucking c*ck" in the film.

Overall, I'm giving this film a 4/10, mainly for the dream sequence in which Jack Black has the Pick Of Destiny (awesome song) and Ben Stiller's cameo.

Silent Hill (2006)

Grinning from ear to ear...

[10/10 · 15 August 2006]

I was a bit cheeky and decided to download a DVDRip of Silent Hill in my impatient anticipation of the Australian release of the film. I finally watched it last night and must say this is the best video game to movie transition I have seen. People who have played the games will most certainly recognize scenes/camera-work that is similar to the game. When Rose first ventures into Silent Hill and everything changes for the first time, it is scene for scene remade from the video game. The camera-work is the same, the events that occur are the same and the music is the same. As in the first game Sharon leaves clues lying around Silent Hill in the form of pages from her scrapbook which Rose must follow to find her. The movie is gleefully gory in small doses, as the film revolves more around Rose finding her daughter than the director trying to gross the viewers out. The movie is more of a horror/mystery than a full out horror film. There are scenes that cut back to Rose's husband trying to find both his wife and daughter and at the same time trying to unravel the mysteries of the ghost town, but never so many to make the viewer think, "come on, get back to Rose, her story is more interesting!" If you've never played the Silent Hill games, don't worry. You don't have to have played the games to know what's going on. If you have played the games, then you'll be grinning from ear to ear with the many references to the people, places and creatures that lurk within Silent Hill.

10/10

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

One of the best remakes I've seen in a long time!

[10/10 · 18 June 2006]

Having seen the original movie and being kind of disappointed in it I wasn't looking forward to a remake of a film that had cheesy acting and an ending that left me unsatisfied. Then I saw that Alexandre Aja was attached to it. Having seen High Tension and immediately loving it, I actually started looking forward to The Hills Have Eyes, because I thought Aja could (hopefully) save it. Now, I'm not one to hate the original, but then contradict myself in liking a remake- the original was gruesome and had some intense moments, but the ending just left me unsatisfied. The acting was mediocre, but the film was made on an almost shoestring budget. Dee Wallace was good in the original, no argument there. But everyone else seemed to overact in a way. Onto this remake. The opening sequence was great. I loved that intense moment of insanity. Brutal, to the point, and gave you a taste of what was to come. Normally I don't like it when movies do that because it usually sets itself up to be as good as that opening sequence, but then the audience is let down by the movie going nowhere near that exciting in the end. Not this film. The opening sequence is nothing compared to what will follow. The film overall had a great cast, plenty of intense moments, and gore galore! It was good to finally see a film which balanced suspense with gore the way Hills Have Eyes did. Unlike the original, the ending to Aja's remake was so gratifying. Throughout the whole film I was on the edge of my seat, and the ending left me wanting more- in a good way. It was one of those films I enjoyed so much I wanted to see more. I ended up going through my DVD collection and watching old horror movies. I even re-watched the original version. Wes Craven's 1977 Hills Have Eyes was a classic. Aja's remake of the film, in my opinion, will become a classic, just like the original. It was brutal, in your face, and left me with a sadistic grin of pleasure on my face. 10/10

The Great American Snuff Film (2004 Video)

What a miserable waste of my time...

[1/10 · 14 June 2006]

I hired this film out because it sounded interesting. Being a fan of serial killer films I thought this film would be at least interesting or watchable. Boy was I wrong. Completely amateur made film with horrible acting and rubbish "gore" effects. I probably could've made a better movie in my High School Film & TV class. Also, at the end of the film they show a sequence which is apparently a real snuff film made by the serial killer the film is based on. I highly doubt it is a genuine snuff film because there's no way the censors would let it get released. They'd want it cut. If they throw a fit over the animal killings in Cannibal Holocaust they would've outright banned this film for having a genuine snuff film in it. Avoid this movie like the plague!!! I've rated it one star only because there's no option for 0/10...

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Brilliant in every way.

[10/10 · 11 June 2006]

After hearing so much about this film, I was so happy to finally get my hands of a copy of the DVD. When I got home I immediately put it in my DVD player and sat down, anticipating one hell of a ride, considering everything I'd heard about it.

The movie itself is a beautifully shot piece of cinema. Never before have I seen something filmed/directed like this before. The film ran so smoothly, there was never a dull moment, and the locations were perfect. The acting was average, but still not bad enough for me to loose interest. I have to admit the scene where Faye had the spider on her shoulder seemed a bit overacted, but otherwise- as I mentioned earlier- average all around.

Now onto the gore. Mainly when I watch a gory movie I just take it as it comes, knowing that the filmmakers have tossed in a gallon or two of blood for good old fashioned gory fun. With CH, the gore was more realistic because it wasn't overdone. You really believed that that's what it would look like if someone did have their leg cut off, or did have their wang cut off, or have their guts pulled out and thrown about by savages. There was no over the top bucket of blood effects, just believable amounts of blood. After all, I think Deodato wanted more to get his message across than the gore. ;) The animal killings were quite easy to sit through because- as I mentioned in another thread- you see that kind of thing all the time in documentaries on the discovery channel, granted that it's lions or tigers doing the killing. But I took it in the sense that the Deodato was trying to show that people in "normal" society can be as brutal as the cannibals. Meat is meat, and you kill what you need to survive. The cannibals kill humans for food just as we kill cows, chickens, or even turtles for food. Natural selection- the food chain. Only for cannibals humans are on the food chain.

I quite enjoyed the way that the film took a stab at the media- exploiting people to give them a bad name or to look worse than they were, as shown in the Last Road To Hell sequence.

When compared to Cannibal Ferox, Cannibal Holocaust is definitely the more intelligent of the two. Ferox was made in the hype of Holocaust's release- just as nowadays you have movies coming out in a "genre-hype". Although Ferox had no real grounds to be so in your face about it as Holocaust as there was no real underlying message other than, "Here's a gory cannibal movie." To say it any simpler, Ferox was to Holocaust as Deep Impact was to Armageddon. In a word, inferior. A director/studio trying to make money by copying someone else's success.

I conclusion, Cannibal Holocaust was a highly interesting and enjoyable movie to watch, and I shall be watching it again and again, because it has a great underlying message, which is also the final line in the film.

"Who are the real cannibals?"

Feed (2005)

Warning! Bad movie ahead!

[1/10 · 13 March 2006]

I feel like I must warn people about this film.

The film revolves around an Australian cyber-cop (a cop that tracks down illegal porn/snuff sites) who goes to America to arrest a "feeder"- someone who likes to fatten up women. The cop stumbles upon the "feeder's" site and realizes that the guy is actually feeding women to death, broadcasting it over the internet. In a ridiculous act the cop is sent to America to track down the "feeder" and arrest him. The climax of the film isn't thrilling- it's annoying. You're left there yelling at the TV for the movie to end. Also, who the hell sends a cop to a foreign country to arrest someone? Wouldn't they just get in contact with police in America?

Anyway, the film is so badly made, it makes you wonder how anyone could have endorsed it. There are no name actors who can't act, bad dialogue, bad settings, bad lighting (the opening scene is filmed entirely in blue) and a bad, horrible plot.

If it were done right, the movie could have been so much better. Also, I don't think anyone would want to sit down for an hour and a half and watch a movie which opens with someone feeding a naked obese woman whilst getting off on it.

:sicky:

I'm going to give this a 0/10, even though the minimum I can give it here is 1...

H (2002)

Highly original thriller

[10/10 · 6 March 2006]

I bought this film expecting an Asian rip off of Se7en, but was confronted with something better- a disturbing film with a gruesome plot. Someone is killing single mothers- pre birth.

In the opening scene of the movie you've got a dead woman found in a trash heap with her baby literally torn out of her. If that's not gruesome enough, I don't know what is.

The film has one of the best twists in a long time, and totally puts a spin on the serial killer genre of films.

The most disturbing scene would have to be the scene on the bus. I won't go into detail, you'll have to watch it for yourself.

Overall I give the film 10/10. Great story, brilliant twist, very disturbing.

Wolf Creek (2005)

Not what it's cracked up to be.

[10/10 · 10 November 2005]

After hearing how disturbing this film was, and how people had walked out of the cinema during the film, I walked in expecting to be confronted with a disturbing and impactful film.

All throughout the film I was thinking, "Is this going to get any worse?" I remember reading a review on this board saying that if you can't sit through 'Haute Tension', then you most definitely couldn't sit through Wolf Creek. Well, I bought Haute Tension to see what I was in for, and sat through it with no problems. Sure, it was pretty gory, and definitely cringe worthy in parts, so I thought Wolf Creek was going to be pretty bloody, too. Lots of people I know said it was bloody and gory, and that people had walked out of the cinema during the film.

After sitting down and watching the film I must say I left the theater feeling pretty disappointed. Sure, it has an atmosphere about it, and it was quite well done, but the movie itself was over-hyped. They made it out to be something it wasn't. They marketed it as a gory, disturbing serial killer flick- 'one of the scariest movies ever'. And all it offered was 45 minutes of character development, another 45 minutes of girls running away, and maybe 5 minutes of killing.

I'm not trashing the film because not enough blood was spilt or not enough people died, I'm just saying it was over-hyped.

Wolf Creek is a great movie, and it is scary, but because I walked into the cinema expecting something else (which was the wrong thing to do- you leave your expectations at the door) I was a bit disappointed.

Overall, I'm giving the film 9/10- this film looks to be an Aussie cult hit!

High Tension (2003)

What a ride!

[10/10 · 9 November 2005]

This has to be by far one of the best movies I have ever seen! I stumbled across it whilst reading up on Wolf Creek and I'm glad my curiosity got the better of me when I saw the DVD in the shop.

Haute Tension is one of those films that keeps you on the edge of your seat, especially when the killer is in the same room as Marie. The violence (whilst there's not much of it) is impactful and realistic. It also features one of the strangest beheading scenes I have ever seen. What helps this film be frightening is the acting. The quickened pace of Marie's breathing and the way she shivers in fear make you almost feel the fear, too.

The music used in the film is creepy and well placed. Unlike films such as Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Cursed or other teeny horror flicks, Haute Tension doesn't rely on bursts of orchestral music to frighten the viewer. The use of Muse's New Born song is brilliant and sets the pace for the scene in which Marie follows the killer in his truck.

Also, any Dean Koontz fan will recognize and predict 80% of the film. The layout of events is similar to those in Dean Koontz's novel Intensity. This isn't really a bad thing, though. Sure, you can kind of predict what is going to happen next, but it's still a damn good movie! I'll say one last thing in conclusion; When the film ended, I was left wanting more. But at the same time, it's good that it ended when it did. It ended on a high point. It's definitely not a film that drags on and makes you wonder when it's going to end.

I'm gonna give it 10/10. :D

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Great film...!!!

[10/10 · 13 October 2005]

Never have I walked out of a movie feeling satisfied and smiling maniacally! This movie was even higher than my expectations. I expected a full out bloodfest of murder and violence. Instead I was greeted by one of the most intelligent, well acted, well written films I have seen in a LONG time. Basic plot, Sheriff Wydell, brother of George Wydell (who met his fate in House of 1,000 Corpses), plots revenge on Baby, Otis and Captain Spaulding. The film opens in a shoot out between the sadistic family and the police, which Wydell is leading. Baby and Otis escape the police and seek help from Captain Spaulding (Baby's father). Meanwhile Wydell hires two hit men to take out the pack of murderers, and ends up becoming more twisted than the family themselves. Yes, the family is sick, sadistic and loathsome, but you end up rooting for them. This film glorifies the murderers. You end up on their side, hoping that they get away from the police, that somehow they make it. Sherry Moon Zombie plays Baby deliciously evil, and I ended up liking her character the best. She plays with people and degrades them all in fun. As most would've already figured out in House of 1,000 Corpses, Baby plays with her victims and gets all cute before she unloads a can of whoop-ass on them. Sid Haig is brilliant as Spaulding. I can't imagine anyone else playing his role. He has some of the best one liners in the film. And last, and most definitely not least, Bill Mosely plays Otis so well, you believe he really is insane. If you want to see a confronting, but well written/acted film, then look no further. This is possibly the best movie you could see this year. I am going to give it a solid 10/10 and recommend it to everyone! It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if you're sick of the same old formulaic killer thrillers, this film is for you.

White Noise (I) (2005)

Goes nowhere.

[1/10 · 10 October 2005]

I hired out this film because so many people have been telling me what a great movie it is. People kept saying it was "genuinely scary" and told me not to watch it at night because it's too creepy. I love it when horror films make me feel uneasy or scared. Unfortunately this did neither. It was a series of build ups that led to nothing. By the end of the film I was more bored than scared. Michael Keaton's constant rushing around annoyed me, and I found it more fun to count the amount of times his dead wife said "Go Now" as an obvious warning. This film, like many recent "hollywood horror" blockbusters, is the dreariest, most boring film I've ever had to sit through.

Cursed (2005)

Good movie, but the plot is a direct copy of Scream.

[5/10 · 23 August 2005]

First of all, I enjoyed this film. Pretty good effects for the werewolf (but no werewolf film will ever match the effects in The Howling, Dog Soldiers or American Werewolf in London).

What really annoyed me about this film was the fact that it was too predictable. It followed the exact same routine that Scream did.

Here's where the spoilers kick in, so if you don't want to know much about the film, don't read on.

This film was Scream with werewolves. I kid you not. There were so many sequences that were lifted directly from Scream. What else would you expect from the minds of those who created Scream...? The first thing that you directly link to Scream is that there's not one werewolf, but two. This follows the formulaic "Who is the killer?" of Scream. Secondly, the scene where they shoot the werewolf "dead" was torn directly out of the pages of Scream. Where the killer always comes back for one last scare. They shoot the werewolf, check to see if it's dead, it jumps up, and they shoot it in the head. Finally, the final confrontation of the film is in the "heroine's" kitchen. Scream, anyone?

All in all, this film isn't too bad. Some good humour, and some intelligent running away from the werewolf, as oppose to the cliché'd run up the stairs... Especially the scene where the girl gets attacked in the parking lot. She's the smartest victim I've seen in a teen horror film.

Overall, a clean half. 5/10

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Big Dumb Action Movie

[7/10 · 10 July 2005]

I wasn't expecting much when I saw Alone In The Dark. Everyone had said how bad the film was, and after seeing the first 10 minutes of House Of The Dead (I couldn't watch any further than that), I wasn't really wanting to see Alone In The Dark. However, considering that people said Resident Evil and Resident Evil: Apocalypse were crap, and I loved those two films, curiosity got the better of me and I had to have a look. Overall, Alone In The Dark isn't too bad. Sure, the acting was a bit cheesy, and yes, there were a few mistakes and confusing action scenes with cliché'd heavy metal music thrown into it, but as a popcorn film, it was quite good. I would classify it as a big, dumb action film. Not much plot, but the action sequences and special effects were rather good, so that saved this film, for me. The only thing I didn't like about the film was the ending. It was too sudden and unbelievable. I expected a bit more.

Oh, and am I the only one that rolled their eyes at the use of Nenh Cherry's "Seven Seconds" during the sex scene?

Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend (1989)

Tentacles, anyone?

[10/10 · 27 June 2005]

Now, this anime is not for people who like anime such as Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and other harmless films/series. As it states on the cover, this anime is "absolutely not for children". The first time I saw Urotsukidoji: Legend Of The Overfiend I was not prepared to see the mix of tentacles and schoolgirls. I was pretty shocked, and turned it off after the opening sequence. But curiosity lured me back, and I watched the film after figuring, 'hell, it's only a cartoon'. What I saw was like no other anime I had seen before. OK, there's plenty of tentacles to be seen in this film, but plot-wise it's a pretty good horror anime (with lots of nudity and sexual situations). This anime is well worth a watch to the more mature anime viewer.

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

An acquired taste.

[8/10 · 7 June 2005]

Kung Pow is one of those films you either like or don't like. Kind of like The Pest (which is a movie I love, but everyone else I know hates). I found the film hilarious! I was on the floor in many scenes, especially when Wimp-Lo tries to jump the wall. Oh, and the squeaky shoes. As I mentioned this film isn't for everyone. Steve Oedekirk does a great job doing all the voices in the film. There's a special feature on the DVD where you can watch the film without dubbing (it's called "What they're really saying"), so you can hear them talk gibberish to make it look badly dubbed when you watch the film. One scene in particular is great, where Oedekirk ad libs "Blah blah blah blah blah". If ever you get a chance to watch this on DVD with commentary- do it. It's hilarious! The only let down of the film is the ending. But I like the film enough to get past that. Looking forward to Kung Pow 2: Tongue of Fury, that's for sure!

The Fear (1995)

Golden Cracker award for being so cheesy.

[7/10 · 29 May 2005]

A group of college students go on a field trip to help out a fellow student do his psychology major. He studies fear, and it's effect on people. After going to his childhood home/cabin in the woods, he discovers his old "childhood friend" Morty- an old wooden dummy. He uses the dummy in his sessions for his friends to tell their fears to. Twist is, this dummy is alive, and soon kills everyone off using their fears.

I actually enjoyed this film. I first saw it about 8 years ago- after buying it for $10 on video. The first thing I noticed about the film was yes, it is cheesy as hell, but the story and acting made it worth watching. It's one of the better acted B-Grade horror/thriller films out there. It cameos Wes Craven as the professor allowing the whole "field trip".

I particularly liked the soundtrack to the film. Each song is about fears and death. Esham's title track (The Fear (Morty's Theme)) is a great song.

I recommend this film to anyone who likes a good night in with a campy horror flick or two.

7/10

Recently picking up this film on DVD I was disappointed to find the film HEAVILY cut. All the profanity has been cut out, and it looks/sounds terrible. AVOID THE FILM ON DVD.

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Fun Sci-Fi film for fans of Alien and Predator

[10/10 · 29 May 2005]

I went out and saw this film with an open mind. I'm a huge fan of the Alien and Predator movies, and when I heard that the film was coming out I was ecstatic. I had no idea what to expect, because there have been so many Alien vs Predator stories floating about. The games, the books, the graphic novels...

What I was presented with was an enjoyable movie that kept me entertained. Of course it had it's typical "horror" cliché's, as demonstrated by the penguin shuffling around the kitchen making the audience think it was a face-hugger. But that made it all the more fun. I absolutely loved the idea that the Predators used the Aliens for training. Paul Anderson done a fantastic job with the film.

I've heard people complain about the film, but it's just another monster movie. It's like any monster movie. If you watch it just for fun, then you will enjoy it. I think the main mistake people made was that they were expecting a film that was like the game. As I mentioned earlier, Alien vs Predator has had a lot of different styles/plots. You can't just focus on one telling and call it the original idea. Paul Anderson has just made yet another story and style with his film.

I give it a solid 10/10.