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Reviews
Belle toujours (2006)
very very dull
every minute of this film felt like an hour. I liked two things about the film - those were the shots of Paris, including some of the pretentious ones. Every scene was very dull and the actors really could not do their job (the barman was very bad, quickly followed by our protagonist). Admittedly I haven't yet seen 'belle de jour' so perhaps I didn't understand all the references. In any case I believe a film should be a film that can stand alone even if it's a sequel. To all those who haven't already dedicated the 100 minutes to see the original I implore you to beware of giving up the painful 68 minutes needed to see this one...
Ne le dis à personne (2006)
Tell no one...to bother
According to most people I know that saw this film and to the reviews I've read this was supposed to be a hugely entertaining thriller that oh so needs to be seen by more people. I didn't expect this film to blow me away but I certainly didn't expect to find this movie mediocre at best, which is what it is.
I'm no stranger to French films being both French and having studied them as a student so i'm aware of the clichés and corny plot twists that can go unnoticed by English/American audiences. There are some great French films that should have been given widespread international release but this isn't one of them.
To begin with the plot is both far fetched, over complicated and too smart assed to be entertaining so you really feel every minute of its 2hr and 5min run time and by the time everything is finally revealed you are beyond caring. The main character himself is lacking any real charisma or even acting talent to keep your attention fixed mainly on him and his journey anytime close to the crap ending so by the time you've even considered swallowing the main plot twists it's begun to dawn on you that you've wasted your time! I actually remember switching off before the credits actually began to roll after the film's climactic reunion - that was the point in which I was sure I had almost completely wasted my time by the way.
The film is not at all the worst thing i've seen but it seems completely overrated. For instance I read somewhere that it beats all the Bourne Identity films in terms of suspense or even that it has 'wall-to-wall tension'. I can safely say some people are hyping up this frankly dull movie.
4/10 is a generously considerate rating for this film I feel, and since I have seen some complete and utter stinkers, I'll therefore save the 1s, 2s and 3s for them.
Bordello of Blood (1996)
Came on TV here 2 days ago
Now this film, although heavily flawed, i still think it was good for something you wanna rent on a mates night in. The film got me laughing through most of the last hour and although the blood n guts didn't really turn me on the constant interludes of T and A didn't receive any complaints from me.
Dennis Miller's one liners and wise cracks made it seem as though the movie was made only for him since he was the only one that seemed as though he was taking the p**s whilst everyone else was just setting themselves up to have the p**s taken out of them as they acted camp or exaggerated their parts.
This is definitely a film that bonds the feelings of guilt and pleasure as you watch it.
I've never seen the other tales of the crypt episodes or the first film but i have to say i was quite entertained and definitely appreciated a break from all the heavy films i was watching previously.
Also Angie Everhart is a stunner. It's gotta be said.