Change Your Image
Darkknight575
Reviews
The Punisher (2004)
Punisher Is Just Plain Awfulk
I'm not really sure what fan boy in his right mind could like this movie. It's completely ridiculous. Nothing makes any sense. One of the worst movies ever written and made. Being a huge fan of the Punisher I was completely appalled as to how bad they made it. It's one of the only movies I've ever walked out of. And I wasn't alone. Half the audience left with me. And being a fan of action films makes it even worse. This is a terrible action movie too. What an embarrassment.
1. They don't explain how an officer like Frank Castle could be found so easily by a criminal like Howard Saint so easily. It would have been a great way to show how powerful this guy is. Instead we're asked to just believe he is.
2. Why does Frank Castle have to retire from his job? A pension at his age wouldn't pay for anything. He'd still have to find another job.
3. Which brings us to the next and more important question. Why deviate from the Punisher's actual origin from the comic book? Instead of killing his wife and child we have to kill his whole family. A bunch of people we don't get to know or feel for at all. It takes away from the power and emotion of the actual act. And the senselessness of the killing in the book is extremely powerful.
4. When Frank's wife and kid are about to be run over and killed how in the world does Frank even know where they are? We never see him watch them escape or anything. Just all of sudden he takes off, which the way it was filmed seems like it's far away since you have to drive, and he shows up too late. Is the Punisher psychic or something now? 5. The way everyone thinks Frank Castle is dead is pretty absurd. Seriously? And then he's found by some other guy that actually has to say he's his friend so we know who he is. Then months later he looks like a hermit and decides to go after the people who killed his family. When do we get to see his pain? His suffering? I could go on and on here. There's just too much to list. This movie should be burned and destroyed for all time.
The Punisher vs the Russian fight was pretty cool though. Right from the book. That was the only positive.
Transformers (2007)
I didn't think it would be good, but it was
Damn you Michael Bay and Damn your Transformers Movie!!!! I finally saw the film today. The whole thing, front to back, all the way through and on the big screen. I sat down prior to the film with my big Icee and Whoppers prepared to hate every gut wrenching second of it. (it should be noted here that I bought tickets to the film Live Free or Die Hard which was a totally awesome movie I saw already and then walked into Transformers) There is no way it could be good. It's Michael Bay. He only makes crappy mainstream formula movies.
*sigh* Transformers is actually a good movie. I liked it. Not only did I like it, I really liked it. I'm the kind of person who admits when he's wrong and I was wrong in this instance. Michael Bay's style was actually perfect for this movie. It definitely brought out the big kid in me. If you were a fan of Transformers you just can't help but get all excited and get into the movie. Optimus Prime, Jazz, Ironhide, Bumblebee, Rachet, Starscream, Megatron, they're all here and it was fun to watch. Just plain fun.
Now don't get me wrong, there was some stupid stuff in the movie. Some scenes were meant to be nothing but funny and they were trying too hard. And some things just don't make any sense. But Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox are the keys to the whole movie. They win you over, they make you care, and they carry the movie through some of the absurd parts.
Is Michael Bay a good director? I still say no. I hate his work actually. One good movie out of the dozens of others he's made doesn't make you a good director. But Transformers was a good movie and I really liked it. I can't believe I'm saying it, but it's true. In the hands of a better director this movie would have been great, but instead it's good. And it did win me over in the end. I didn't buy the ticket to the movie because I couldn't in good conscious let the film have my money, but in the end, I would have bought my ticket.
Constantine (2005)
Where's the respect for the book?!
As usual here's another comic book movie made with absolutely no respect for the creators who thought it all up. Granted Hellblazer isn't the most popular of comic books not garnering the kind of fan-base as Batman, Spiderman, or the Punisher and as a result hasn't instilled any real disgust toward the film. But really, how would you feel as an artist to see your creation butchered by someone else in such a way? Don't believe me. The creators of the book fought hard to have their names removed from the film. Sound like someone who's happy with the representation of their work? Not at all. Constantine is an over blown action flick without the intelligence and depth of the actual book.
When are we going to stop putting up with such crap that has such disdain for the original material like the Punisher movies, Constantine, Spawn, Catwoman, and the last few Joel Schumacher Batman disasters before we actually stop going to see these movies? Am I crazy or aren't movies like Spiderman and Hellboy better films because they respect the original material and their creators. After all, their has to be a reason they're making a movie after the comic book. The original had to be good enough for them to want to make the movie. And it's usually because of the writing and the detail the creators pour into their creations.
I never saw Constantine in the theatre. Instead I saw a bootlegged copy my friend got to compare to the book. I didn't even want to watch it with him except he talked me into it. I couldn't in good conscious, and with respect to it's creators, line the pockets of people who would butcher someone else's work so easily and without regard.
I of course will be first in line to see Sin City when it comes out. Frank Miller himself was in charge and the comic used as story boards. I bet my life it'll be much better, make more money, and garner better reviews than Constantine will on it's best day. It's about time a comic book movie was made right. Hopefully it'll be contagious.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Just plain Awful
Here I was, not expecting very much from this film. All I wanted was to see some awesome action from one of the most formidable warriors ever created on the big screen. The PREDATOR! The Predator's are supposed to be warriors, hard nosed, skilled in combat. Aliens are also very dangerous. Their acidic blood, agility, and sharp tails are lethal. Unlike Predators, they are basically insects, carrying no kind of technology and use instinct as their primary way to survive. Now don't get me wrong. I didn't expect the Aliens to come across as pussies. However, I never thought in a million years that the Predators would be portrayed as such. Three Predators kill a handful of humans and only two face huggers, two Aliens, and a recently born Alien straight from the stomach. The female lead kills more Aliens then the first two Predators combined. How can this be?!!!!!!! I didn't ask for much from this film. Just to see the Predators fight and kill Aliens in the tradition that the comic books and every other rendition had done in the past was all I asked for. The stupid characters, the horrible dialog, that was expected from this writer/director. But to reduce the Predators to being such wussies with only two or three cool moves by the lot of Predators in the film was a waste of time and money. Even the Aliens come across poorly. I could find only two moments in the film where I was actually enjoying the film. They lasted a combined 2 minutes. Not worth this film. Sorry, but Alien Resurrection has more creativity and story, and that movie was garbage. Who would have thought that somebody could simply ruin two classic great characters so easily? Hate to say it, but I'm pretty pissed off after waiting so long just to get a crap movie where the writer/director obviously didn't do his homework. Fan or no fan, this guy's a hack! Save your money and get the Predator SE or the first two Alien movies.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Just plain Awful
Here I was, not expecting very much from this film. All I wanted was to see some awesome action from one of the most formidable warriors ever created on the big screen. The PREDATOR! The Predator's are supposed to be warriors, hard nosed, skilled in combat. Aliens are also very dangerous. Their acidic blood, agility, and sharp tails are lethal. Unlike Predators, they are basically insects, carrying no kind of technology and use instinct as their primary way to survive. Now don't get me wrong. I didn't expect the Aliens to come across as pussies. However, I never thought in a million years that the Predators would be portrayed as such. Three Predators kill a handful of humans and only two face huggers, two Aliens, and a recently born Alien straight from the stomach. The female lead kills more Aliens then the first two Predators combined. How can this be?!!!!!!! I didn't ask for much from this film. Just to see the Predators fight and kill Aliens in the tradition that the comic books and every other rendition had done in the past was all I asked for. The stupid characters, the horrible dialog, that was expected from this writer/director. But to reduce the Predators to being such wussies with only two or three cool moves by the lot of Predators in the film was a waste of time and money. Even the Aliens come across poorly. I could find only two moments in the film where I was actually enjoying the film. They lasted a combined 2 minutes. Not worth this film. Sorry, but Alien Resurrection has more creativity and story, and that movie was garbage. Who would have thought that somebody could simply ruin two classic great characters so easily? Hate to say it, but I'm pretty pissed off after waiting so long just to get a crap movie where the writer/director obviously didn't do his homework. Fan or no fan, this guy's a hack! Save your money and get the Predator SE or the first two Alien movies.
White Chicks (2004)
One of the worst comedies ever!!!!
This movie is utterly ridiculous! From the stupid storyline to the worst makeup job I've ever seen in a film. They look like two people wearing horrible puffy white masks. They look ridiculous!! They don't look real! They don't look like white chicks at all! And they especially don't look at all like the two girls they're trying to impersonate. They stand out like a sore thumb. Now I know some people are going to try to argue that it's just a movie. Just enjoy it. Well what's to enjoy. I'm insulted that someone would actually expect me to just accept that these two people are SUPPOSED to be passed off as white girls. All I would say to you is, shame on you. The only thing that's funny about this film is the fact that we are expected to believe that two people could pass themselves off as white chicks with that makeup. I feel sorry for anyone stupid enough to even want to see something like this. Have some respect for yourself and see something worth seeing. You'll be stupider just by watching this travesty of a film.
Natural Born Killers (1994)
Natural Born Killers has a bad rap
Natural Born Killers is a brilliant film and easily Oliver Stones best film after JFK. The greatness of Oliver Stone comes from the subject matter and the passion he brings to each project. Like all great filmmakers each time he makes a film he has something to say, and it's something that's important to him. Natural Born Killers is a statement on society even today and the media that stands to profit off of it. The United States is one of the only countries in the world that elects to cover a child kidnapping or a drive by shooting instead of important issues that stand to better the community. In this film Oliver Stone tackles the issues of our country and the amount of fame and coverage serial killers receive from the media. It delves deep into the characters to the point where we actually cheer for them at the end. These two people are murderers, killers, evil and sadistic people that we grow to care about. Why? Because we can relate to them and we have gotten to know them profoundly. Now I understand many people complain about the films editing. I found it refreshing and visually captivating as it fit the nature of the material. In other films, like his god awful attempt at the corruption of professional sports in Any Given Sunday, the editing there doesn't fit. It's too fast paced. Natural Born Killers takes us into a surreal landscape drawing us into the mindset of these two fascinating characters by being creative in it's editing techniques. The use of black and white, the images in the background, even the animation is all used for a reason. Many times creating a mood or feeling otherwise overlooked. The editing here is first rate. At no point do we get lost or confused by the images. It's never too fast. Even in the chaotic scenes like the prison riot we can clearly see what's happening. It's not like Armageddon where you can't tell what's going on. It's a real shame that many people haven't given this film the credit it deserves merely because it doesn't fit the standard format many people expect. Unlike many of Tony Scott's films where the editing is done just to be flashy, Oliver Stone, especially in Natural Born Killers, creatively used this unusual technique to benefit the film.