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timmypearl
Reviews
X2 (2003)
Dated Pointless Rubbish
Iam sorry but i had to give this a one just to help bring the overall score down a bit. 7.7 your having a laugh. I would of probably of rated this a 5, very average.
I will admit i only watched the last 20 minutes of this film but thats all i need for me to rate a film because i am that good at telling what a good film is from an average film to a dam right piece of crud.
Honestly when i turned over to this film and saw that spaceship and saw storm doing her wind and water magic i laughed and said surely the sequel must been some low budget film that some newbie director made. A bit like War Of The Worlds 2. But to my amazement it weren't.
Honestly the special effects are so crap that i reckon the director and producer were on the fiddle. And whats all this DNA mutation speech at the end, its inaccurate and wrong, whats the point on talking about the worlds evolution when this film ain't even real. Evolution will never evolve to where you have men firing laser beams out their eyes or controlling the weather with their hands.
Cheap rubbish film the cartoon series is far better. Anyway who could rate any film above a 5 with Halle Berry in it.
Home Alone (1990)
Scary but insightful film about child abuse
From what i could gather from watching this movie is that it was about an abused child whos whole family hated and bullied him merciless.
Anyway the family hate the poor kid that much that they left him at home while they went on holiday abroad. Now the kid is left to defend for himself as a couple of hungry Paedophiles try to break their way into his house and abduct him.
The kid has only one friend about and that is his old neighbour the snow shoveller who is said to of done time in pelican bay for multiple felonies.
In the end the film had a great twist where in fact the two suspected peados were really just trying to help the boy as the real peado was the snow shoveller. The morale of the story i guess was be careful who you trust and don't have kids if you cant look after them.
Anyway i found it one of the better suspense thrillers about.
Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb Movie (1995)
Had A Blast
Blinding film about blowing up things really big things,eg islands in the sun. Its a film about three countries (USA,USSR,UK) who each try to out do each other on the fireworks display but a 4th country out does them all right at the end by setting one off and than riding into it on horse back with a sword and a horse with a mask now beat that. You cant can you.
Personally although the ending was good i would of preferred to of seen the USSR try and fire one of those huge mummas at the moon to the tune of come on baby light my fire try to set the night on fireeeeee.
But i would still recommend it. My favourite bit was when the bomb went boom.
When do we have to wait for the sequel, do we have to wait for Iran to finish.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Long Drawn Out Doomsday Film
Look okay first of all if your going to comment or rate a film you must first establish what genre the film is. This film is an Action adventure disaster film so straight away don't expect great acting and story lines, expect clichés and the same old over the top and ridiculous scenes.
Anway as an action/disaster film i find this film very average, Its about global warming causing an extremely fast mini ice age.And the film centres around some smart kid who's old mans a meteorologist.So you can gather the plot, kid stuck in NYC in massive snow storm dad who's away makes a promise that he will come to rescue his son.
I wont tell yous what happens but i personally think the first hour is alright for action and big disaster scenes but than it all gets a bit slow and boring for the last hour.
In my opinion its only worth a watch if its on the box and your at home lazing about on a Sunday evening and nothing much is on but you see this film is starting, apart from that i would not bother going out my way for this one.
The Football Factory (2004)
One of the best Football Hooligan films
First of all if your going to watch this film than you must realise that its about football hooligans and their way of life from the 90s to present day era.So there's no point watching it and than bitching about how its full of Chav's, yobbos, scum and fat lagboats. What the hell do you expect. I didn't go watch boys to men than come out of the cinema moaning that it was full of blacks, hoes, crack heads, and drive by shootings, that would be stupid.
Anyway this is a realistic hooligan flick about a group of Chelsea hooligans (the headhunters)and their exploits around the country following their football club. They than finally get the dream cup draw half way through the season against Millwall.I doubt many people need to know what Millwall are famous for.The film is about the build up to this game.
I found it funny and entertaining to watch with a few beers with my mates its not really a film to watch with your missus or the family. I think most young men from anywhere will enjoy this film and relate to different parts of it, its defiantly worth a watch.
The Mist (2007)
Unoriginal but worth a watch
This film is basically very similar to dawn of the dead. If you like that you will like this.
I personally think the film could of gone on longer outside the shop when we see the real size of the problem.
Iam not sure of the acting but it seemed a bit low budget at times but you know sometimes that ain't always a bad thing. I like a film sometimes when i don't know any of the actors as they ain't in your memory as someone else.
Also wow one of the cruelest endings i have seen for a while.
If your a fan of happy endings this film is not for you.
Aliens (1986)
A must see for all ET or X Files fans
A film about a lesbian colonist called Ripley who was the sole surviver of her colony on the starship Enterprise. She is found by a space ship of an all male battle hardened crew of soldiers. What she doesn't know is that the soldiers are on a mission to land on a planet to kill the aliens that killed her crew.
Ripley finds out about the soldiers mission and being the ultra feminist that she is she feels its her duty to out muscle the men on this mission which she does with flying colours.
Its a film about one woman's struggle to out do the men physically and mentally. Think Aileen wuornos meets ET and than your almost there with this movie.
Worth a gander.
RoboCop (1987)
A must see for all Harry Roberts and raoul moat fans out there
A film about a troubled misunderstand young man called Clarence Boddicker, abandoned by his mum as a 10 year old Clarence grew up on the streets of the hard knocks, but one day a bank robbery went wrong and his mate bobby burnt all the frigging money so he gave bobby a free flying lesson on the bonnet of a local cops car.That cop was Alan shearer. Shearer pursued Clarence and the team into an abandoned ware house. Clarence managed to ambush officer shearer and than proceeded to empty his load all over shearers torso along with his fella comrades in crime before finally releasing his final load in shearers face.
Clarence knew he did wrong and he was now on the run big time. Mean while doctors and nurses had managed to clean officer shearer up and give him a make over and shearer also managed to have his name and identity changed to spare he from the humiliation he suffered that frightful day.
Shearer had now become Robo Cop a new masculine macho name to make him feel like a real man again. But he was now bitter and angry and was after Clarence. Clarence knew this and after a crime spree with rocket launchers and machine guns robot cop manged to finally have it out with Clarence one on one,man to man in a flour factory, obviously Clarence didn't come off to well in this fight, he got thrown through quite a lot of glass panes and was forced to grass up his own mate. Clarence was now a Bertie smalls his career that he worked so hard for was in ruins all because of a nosey copper.
Any way Clarence skipped bail and manged to lure robot cop into a scrap yard, here they proceeded to fight it out to the death and unfortunately Clarence took a sneaky stab from robocop to the throat. Clarence died and so did a piece of my heart,the local bad boy done good was butchered by a cop in cold blood. Any way robocop went on to murder his boss by throwing him out the window and is now probably standing trial for double homicide.THE END.
Bloody good film how this never won an Oscar for best script i will never know.
The Terminator (1984)
Fun film for all the family to gather around for Christmas
Right from what i could gather this film appeared to be about a down and out vagrant who seemed to muster up an elaborate story all for the sake of getting into the panties of the waitress across the road that he lusted over from the view he had of her from his cardboard box. And all this whilst having peed off a German biker that he some how managed to convince Sarah that he was a robot rather than the man he pick pocketed last week at the local mall.
A romantic tale of how one guy could cheat and lie for the affections of the local waitress.
Its a thumbs ups from me as i am quite a soppy guy ,i do love my romance films so i am going to give this one a respectable 8, i was going to give it a 7 but Arnie's superb acting made me give it an extra star.