garyvanhorn Reviews

Limitless (I) (2011)

I wasn't interested in the movie until I actually watched it. Phenomenal.

[9/10 · 14 September 2011]

Limitless is one of those movies I was really interested to see, until I read the synopsis. Wow a pill that allows you to use 100% of your brain.....LAME! It was with some hesitation that I rented the film but the next two hours I was entranced by a movie that is impeccable. Everything about the film sings, the characters, the acting, the plot all expertly crafted, guiding the audience through an incredible rags-to-riches story that is far more entertaining than the cliché might seem.

Eddie Mora ( Bradley Cooper) is a writer, well he wants to be one anyway. He has a book deal but just can't seem to get over his writer's block, or organize his apartment, or pay the rent, or keep his girlfriend, or do anything else constructive with his life. He's not a total failure but is one step away from becoming one. All of that changes when he bumps into his shady ex-brother-in-law (Johnny Whitworth) who happens to have the answer to all his creative problems. When Mora takes one little pill, everything changes. His thoughts become clearer, everything he ever half-read is remembered, cataloged, and ready for use in his now perfectly running mind. He becomes motivated, he knows what to do and how to do it, the possibilities for him become Limitless, especially after he joins forces with energy mogul Carl Van Loon (Robert De Niro).

I know, I know, it still sounds lame, but trust me, it isn't. Much like Zodiac (not The Zodiac which sucks big time) Limitless is a great film, mostly because it is made so well made, which elevates the subject matter to a whole other level. The drug isn't perfect, Eddie Mora's life becomes filled with intrigue, danger, mystery and murder and his newly found intelligence is both the cause and the cure. Check out Limitless, you won't regret it.

Rango (2011)

Masterfully animated feature that is sure to delight both young and old.

[9/10 · 26 July 2011]

Rango is one of the best animated features I have ever seen. Johnny Depp is stellar as the naive and eccentric chameleon that is lost in the desert and trying to find himself. The animation is second to none, at times it seems completely real, an amazing feat considering the characters are all anthropomorphic animals. The characters, the voice acting, the story; everything falls together perfectly to create a wonderful film.

Rango (Johnny Depp) is starving artist chameleon, always performing for an audience of one (himself) in his safe, yet boring, fish tank. He has no real idea who he is or what his purpose in life should be. His life is turned upside down when an accident leaves him stranded in the middle of the desert where he meets a cast of crazy spaghetti western characters in the frontier town of Dirt. Dirt is a rough and tumble town that is facing a drought and a series of quirky misadventures leads to Rango becoming the new sheriff. Of course there are outlaws to be captured, corrupt officials to be stopped, and a woman to win, all staples of the romantic American western.

The creative energies that were obviously poured into the film really pay off, Rango is funny, polished, and vastly entertaining. There is enough silliness to keep children interested, yet there is always a serious overtone that keeps adults engaged and the plot moving along. Don't let the fact that Nickelodeon was involved, this isn't your average kid's movie, it's much, much more.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

A worthy addition to comic movie lore and a great prequel for The Avengers.

[8/10 · 23 July 2011]

I must admit that I am an avid fan of the Captain America comic book series and as such I was eager to see the big budget cinematic adaptation of my favorite super hero. I must also admit that I was a tad let down by the movie, but only because I am so intimately familiar with the character and history of Captain America and was hoping for a few things that just weren't in the film. That being said, Captain America is still a very good movie and is well worth the price of admission.

Chris Evans isn't stellar as Captain America, but his is fantastic in his role as Steve Rogers, the scrawny kid that is all heart. The movie spends a great deal of time establishing and developing Steve Rogers but is a little lacking in the establishment of Captain America as a total bad-ass. That's just me nitpicking a bit, I really wanted to see Captain America wade through legions of German lackeys and take them out with impressive, Matrix-style martial arts moves. There is a bit of that but not to the degree I was hoping for. I also wanted to see Captain America in training, developing his fighting and tactical skills to superhuman levels, instead there was on-the-job training. It worked and the fact that Captain America is truly heroic is evident, I just wanted some Batman Begins training to hone and solidify that fact.

When it is all said and done Captain America is a fine movie with a good lead actor and a stellar supporting cast. Tommy Lee Jones is great as the gruff Army Colonel, Stanley Tucci is brilliant as the fatherly Dr. Abraham Erskine, and Dominic Cooper delights as Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark, a.k.a Iron Man. Captain America is funny when it needs to be, action packed where it can be, and grounded throughout. Oh, and stay through the end credits, The Avengers looks like it will totally rule!

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

An unexpected sequel that is unexpectedly bad.

[3/10 · 4 July 2011]

Rarely is such a great film like Wall Street followed up with such a craptastic squeal. I'm not real sure what Oliver Stone was thinking, other than he wanted to make some dough at the expense of the public, not unlike the majority of the characters in the film. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps does everything it can to paint Wall Street as a collection of evil, soulless tyrants that were solely responsible for the recent economic downturn.

The biggest problem with the film, and there are a lot of problems mind you, is that there are no less than four distinct story lines that are inelegantly and, at times, ham-fistedly mashed together to form a disjointed central narrative. One story follows Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglass), the central (and most interesting) character from the previous Wall Street, as he gets out of prison and tries to put his life back together. A second story follows the young hotshot Jake Moore (Shia LeBeouf) and his mentor Louis Zabel (Frank Langella) through the financial meltdown. The third story is that of Winnie Gecko (Carey Mulligan) and her fiancée Jake Moore and their personal life and how Gordon Gecko's release from prison affects it. A fourth story follows Jake Moore as he begins working for his mentor's longtime rival Bretton James (Josh Brolin) in the cutthroat world of alternative energy acquisition and development. These plot lines are so ineptly woven together that it is possible to make four completely independent short films out of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Additionally, because of this plot diffusion, none of the story lines have any kind of emotional appeal or resonance with the audience, there just isn't enough there to latch on to. The movie also reaches a logical climax and ending almost 30 minutes before the film's actual end, and then reaches another, then another, eventually leading the audience to wish for an actual end to the film and completely destroying any sense of satisfaction or closure that might have been achieved by tying off the film sooner.

The story is fractured, the message trite and unimaginative, the camera-work is at times questionable, and Gordon Gecko is a mere shadow of the Academy Award winning character from the original. Sometimes it is best to sit on one's laurels and not attempt to relive the glory days of yesteryear. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps should never have been made and will hopefully be quickly forgotten.

The American (2010)

Snoozefest would imply there is a festival or party that might be related somehow to the film....there isn't.

[2/10 · 2 July 2011]

The American, starring George Clooney (and some Italian actors nobody has ever heard of), starts off promisingly enough with Clooney and his girlfriend in a remote cabin in Sweden surrounded by a pristine snow scape. The two are obviously in love and enjoying every moment together and are happily walking in the wilderness when they spot footprints in the snow. "Get down!", Clooney yells, moments before bullets whiz by them. Clooney pulls a pistol from his pocket and quickly dispatches the would be assassin. He turns to his girlfriend and tells her to go back to the cabin and call the police, when she turns and has taken only a couple of steps, Clooney shoots her in the back and kills her. He then finds a second gunman, kills him and steals his car and drives away. I was very interested 10 minutes in, who was this guy? Why are people trying to kill him? Why did he shoot his girlfriend? What can possibly happen next? Unfortunately after the next two hours the only one of those questions I can answer is the last, and the answer is, not much.

For the next two hours the film alternates between Clooney doing push ups/pull ups/sit-ups, having sex with an Italian prostitute, some gunsmithing, and having dinner with a priest. He does get shot at again by some guy that he kills (we still have no idea why people are trying to kill him and this is 2/3 of the way through the film, and we never do find out so don't hold your breath while watching) but he's back to his push ups and prostitute soon thereafter so don't worry. I kept watching the film, waiting, hoping for some kind of payoff but in the end he decides to run away with the prostitute and get out of the gunsmithing/assassination business but bleeds to death from a gunshot wound from a shootout ( I use the term loosely as only three bullets are fired) with the film's antagonist (don't worry about who he is it won't help explain anything, he ends up dead, just leave it at that) just as he pulls into view of her then the credits roll.

The American is very, very boring and no amount of scenic, on-location European village shots, nor foreign language dialogue, nor hot Italian prostitutes can change that simple fact.

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

An intense action/war/alien invasion movie that avoids all the major pitfalls of Independence Day.

[7/10 · 20 June 2011]

Battle Los Angeles can be quickly summed up as Saving Private Ryan meets Independence Day. While that might seem to be an odd combination of movies, it works very well as a grim and gritty alien invasion movie that avoids the major plot holes that crippled such films as Independence Day and Signs.

Sgt. Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) is a retiring Marine Staff Sergeant that gets sent to help evacuate civilians in Los Angeles. Eckhart's last command ended with the deaths of his entire squad and he has a bad reputation as a result and an inexperienced Lieutenant (Ramon Rodriguez) is in command of the mission. The squad arrives in a devastated Los Angeles and encounters alien troops that are, well alien, and all Hell breaks loose.

The movie does a great job of keeping things simple, understandable, and believable (assuming you are OK with the whole alien invasion thing anyway). The movie is told from the perspective of squad level combat. There are no grand plans to unfold, the President isn't involved (or even mentioned), no new super weapons are in development, no half-ass, tacked-on love story, no gimmicks, no tricks and an ending that is both satisfying and realistic. The combat is intense and dominates the movie while the special effects are fantastic. Battle Los Angeles makes no attempt to understand the aliens and is better for it; they are the bad guys coming to steal Earth's water and kill off humans in the process. There are countless alien invasion films out there, but few are truly good; Battle Los Angeles is on of those few.

Black Death (2010)

The title is "Black Death" and it should be an indicator that it's not a happy film.

[7/10 · 1 June 2011]

No sunshine or lollipops in this film. As you might have guessed from the title, the movie takes place during the 14th century outbreak if the bubonic plague in England, and it is very, very dark.

The story centers around a young monk named Osmund (Eddie Redmayne) who sees the need of a church enforcer (Sean Bean) for a guide as a sign that he can do God's work from beyond the walls of the monastery. Sean Bean leads a small group of warriors that seeks out heretics, witches, and daemons and slays them. Reports have reached the church of a village that has escaped the ravages of the plague and foul magic is suspected.

The movie feels very much like The 13th Warrior, a small band of warriors, joined by an outsider, head into a remote and thinly settled countryside to encounter enemies of a supernatural nature that turn out to be less than supernatural. The movie does a good job of establishing a dark tone without making everything seem hopeless and pointless. There isn't a great deal of time devoted to characterization and the movie is a bit short at only 97 minutes, but I suspect any more time spent in the grim and desolate world that the director has created would rapidly encounter diminishing returns. If a grim, brutal, grounded in reality, sword swinging movie is what you want, Black Death will be what you want. If you want a happy movie with a cheery ending, look elsewhere.

Thor (2011)

I'm now even more excited for Captain America and The Avengers!

[8/10 · 17 May 2011]

Thor is a bit of a harder sell as far as comic book characters go. I mean, how do you transform an ancient Norse god and 60's comic book character into something a modern movie going audience is going to like? Start with great casting (Chris Hemsworth is a dead ringer for Thor), add a brilliant screenplay by J. Michael Strazynski, and mix it with top notch special effects and you end up with a movie that is halfway believable (in a comic book way) and very entertaining.

Thor is an arrogant, perhaps spoiled, young warrior that seeks glory for himself and Asgard but nearly reignites an ancient war with the Frost Giants in the process. For his arrogance and poor judgement, Thor is stripped of his power and banished to Earth by Odin (Anthony Hopkins), and his hammer lands in New Mexico and becomes something akin to the sword in the stone of Arthurian legend, "Whoever holds this hammer, should they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor". All of this is a result of the subtle manipulations of Thor's evil brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston) who seeks power only for himself. Throughout most of the film Loki works from the shadows to manipulate people and events towards an end of his design, as only the trickster god can do. Thor must then work to reclaim his power and stop his brother's machinations, gaining some wisdom and humility along the way.

There is really very little to dislike about the film, other than a couple of minor casting decisions, Hogun, one of the famed warriors three, is apparently Asian for some reason, and Heimdall is black. Both choices seem odd for Norse gods but it doesn't really harm the movie, they just seem out of place. I would have liked to see Thor get beat up a bit more in the final two fight scenes with The Destroyer and Loki as both were relatively short and could have benefited from a couple of extra minutes. Overall Thor is a very fun, very entertaining comic book movie that only heightens my anticipation for the upcoming Captain America and Avengers movies.

Taking Lives (2004)

A serial killer movie that attempts, and fails, to keep you guessing.

[5/10 · 15 May 2011]

As with most mediocre Hollywood fare I found myself reminded of similar films that were done better while watching Taking Lives. In this case the better film is The Talented Mr. Ripley. Both films feature a serial killer, or would be serial killer, that can take on the traits of others and effectively hide themselves in plain sight. Where The Talented Mr. Ripley shines and Taking Lives does not, is in the exploration of the killer and his transformations from identity to identity.

Taking Lives takes place in Montreal, Quebec, Canada where a murder has taken place in which the victim's hands were severed and his face smashed into unrecognizable pulp. Apparently this is too much for the local police to handle; enter special agent Illeana Scott (Angelina Jolie). A curious and astute audience might wonder why local Canadian police are receiving assistance from an American FBI agent. Curious as you might be you never do find out, just go with it. Soon after Scott joins the investigation, Costa (Ethan Hawke) informs the police that he interrupted the killer's latest work and can draw a sketch and the hunt for the killer begins in earnest.

What follows is a fairly typical story littered with suspicion, misdirection, and chase scenes. The thing that is lacking in the film is the thing that gives it an interesting premise, the fact that the killer not only takes the lives of his victims in a mortal sense, he also literally takes their lives and lives them because the killer cannot stand himself and longs to be someone, anyone else. We never get to see this happen, we just have to take the movie's back story as gospel. Even when the killer is revealed to be someone we are very familiar with from the film, he doesn't change a bit, still the same character we met during his first scene. While this doesn't make Taking Lives a bad movie, it does prevent it from being a good one. If you see it, fine, if not you will survive to live another day.

Salt (2010)

Did Russia become a superpower again while I wasn't watching?

[3/10 · 15 May 2011]

Nothing is worse than a movie that uses an outdated premise, cliché villains, yet takes itself very, very seriously. Salt does all things and does them poorly (and it doesn't help that I think Angelina Jolie is a freak).

Apparently, decades ago, the KGB (remember them from 1980's spy movies?) took young orphans and trained them to be super spy sleeper agents in countries around the world and now, twenty years after the fall of the wall, they are being activated to destroy America once and for all......yeah, I thought it was gay too. Anyway, Angelina Jolie works for the CIA as America's top super spy, little does anyone know she is really a Russian super spy posing as an American super spy who is actually not posing as the American super spy but really is, confused yet? Don't worry, Angelina's identity confusion is the least of your worries in this film, mostly because everybody else with any kind of part in the film is also suffering from "sleeper agent syndrome" apparently they are everywhere, pretty good for a country that couldn't get adequate supplies of toilet paper to the general populace.

The final grand plan is to nuke Tehran and Mecca with U.S. nukes to incite the Muslim world to destroy America (not real sure how they would do that, seeing as how we just blasted the crap out of Iraq and Afghanistan without really breaking a sweat but just go with it). The plan to get the nukes is about as far fetched as you can get, but so was the assassination of the Russian president earlier in the film, as were the three escape sequences, and well pretty much the rest of the film so I suppose breaking into the White House command bunker during lockdown fits right in. Salt makes little to no sense, feels incredibly behind the times, and just plain sucks.

Hereafter (2010)

Would have made a good short film, but is instead a terrible feature.

[4/10 · 15 May 2011]

The opening scenes in Hereafter are well crafted, unexpected, and provide a solid foundation for what should have been an interesting movie. Unfortunately, there is an hour and a half wait before that interesting movie emerges and it isn't enough of a payoff to offset the interminable boredom.

The vast majority of the movie is spent following three very separate story lines about three very different people. The first is about a French reporter/TV host who has a near death experience after almost drowning and her life is changed forever. The second is about twin boys with a drug addicted mother and the third follows Matt Damon doing his best John Edwards impression (the guy that talks to dead people, not the one who cheats on his cancer patient wife). It's not that the stories are bad, but the movie does a very poor job of moving things along and for most of the movie there really isn't a coherent plot to speak of. It's like a reality TV show randomly picked three people to follow and you get to see how they live their lives, even though that might make good TV if you found the right people, it makes a really crappy movie.

Eventually the plot lines intersect when the reporter writes a book, Matt Damon goes on vacation, and one of the boys runs away from his foster parents. Matt Damon reads the reporter's book, sees that she really did die, talks to the boy's dead brother (he died earlier in the film), offers him comfort, receives some naive yet sagely advice from the boy, seeks out the reporter and falls in love. All of these elements would have fit very nicely into a short film and have to be painfully drawn out in order to fill two hours. The movie really needed to focus less on character development and way more on plot advancement.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

A different kind of movie for a different kind of audience.

[9/10 · 7 April 2011]

I loved this film but, sadly, most people will be confused by it. Anyone who understands the basics of Japanese Anime and video games will feel right at home is this stylish mishmash of Manga, Nintendo, Kung-Fu, and Indy Rock. The plot is ludicrous, Scott Pilgim (Michael Cera), an unassuming Canadian geek that meets the girl of his dreams (literally) but must first defeat her seven deadly exes in order to be with her. The battle scenes are half video game, half Kung-Fu Anime, with each ex possessing a different power or ability that Scott Pilgrim must overcome, ranging from double duplicates to bass guitar telekinesis. The effects and choreography are very well done and even the most insane aspects of the movie make a certain kind of sense once you let go of your sense of rationality and go with the flow of the film.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is not for everyone but it was definitely for me, the music was cool, the directing was clever, and the story was original and entertainingly presented. If you are looking for a movie that stretches your definition of what a movie can be and you don't mind taking a trip off the beaten path then check out Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

Family Business (1989)

A strong cast dragging along the weight of a dead film, with mediocre results.

[5/10 · 4 April 2011]

Sean Connery, Dustin Hoffman, and Matthew Broderick play grandfather, father, and son respectively in a heist movie that is less about the heist and more about the family that pulls it. Matthew Broderick is the good son, smart, squeaky clean, and destined for the good life beyond the criminal past of his father and grandfather, except he wants nothing to do with that life and instead dreams of being a thief. To help him on his way is the original thief of the family (Sean Connery), much to the dismay of Broderick's father (Dustin Hoffman) who is eventually pressured into helping with the heist against his better judgment.

Much of the film is spent exploring the familial relationship of the three men. The grandfather is an unrepentant thief who thinks his son is a quitter. The father is angry at the grandfather for never giving him the opportunity to be anything other than a criminal. The son is angry at the father for not giving him the opportunity to be a thief like his father and grandfather before him. The actors are talented and the premise is good but the movie lacks a certain intangible aspect that prevents it from being anything other than mediocre. The movie is just too......ordinary, for lack of a better word. There is no real flair for the dramatic, no golden comedy moments to remember, just a story idea that is dragged forward by the strength of the cast, and little else.

Strange Wilderness (2008)

I have never been so quickly and completely repulsed by a movie.

[1/10 · 13 March 2011]

Just so everyone knows, I only managed to suffer through about 17 minutes of the movie before I became so insanely irritated by the sheer stupidity of it that I turned it off in an act of sanity-preserving selfishness. I try to make it all the way through movies, "I watch bad movies so you don't have to". It's a good motto to live by if you want to get people to listen to you when talking about movies, especially the bad ones. Alas, in this case, I simply couldn't take any more pot/bong jokes. I had just watched Grandma's Boy (which also sucked by the way but not nearly as badly) and the eighth bong joke just made me snap (that's one every two minutes for those of you keeping score at home).

Surely someone could have come up with some better material for a Naturalist that is completely inept than turning him and his whole crew into a bunch of potheads. I didn't have high hopes for the film, which is good, otherwise I might have had to check myself into the local loony bin after expectantly watching the whole film and being turned into a drooling idiot who constantly muttered ,"It has to get better, it just has to.....". Avoid watching this film, in whole or in part, I will not be held responsible for the adverse effects on your mental health should you choose to disregard my advice.

Due Date (2010)

A decent, if not outstanding Buddy/Road Trip movie.

[6/10 · 13 March 2011]

Robert Downy, Jr. is one of my favorite actors and I eagerly sought out Due Date so that I might see his latest foray into comedic film. Sadly I was a little disappointed, though it was still a funny movie I somehow expected more.

In Due Date Peter Highman (Robert Downy, Jr.) is attempting to travel across the country in order attend the birth of his child via cesarean section, hence the title of the film. The first of his many misadventures with total stranger Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) is getting thrown off his flight and put on the no-fly list. With no money, credit cards, I.D., or car, Peter is forced to accept Ethan's offer to travel together in a rental car all the way across the United States. Like any road trip movie nothing goes as planned and the unlikely scenarios get ever more insane and unlikely as the movie progresses. Ethan and Peter have major character flaws that cause a great deal of tension and set the stage for most of the comedy, making Due Date a buddy movie as well as a road trip movie.

Ethan is a crazy, neurotic pot-head wannabe actor while Peter is a self-centered jackass that is needlessly cruel. Individually they are amusing and together they are more so. This, combined with the insane plot twists, makes for a pretty funny movie. Due Date is amusing, I just think my expectations were set too high, perhaps yours won't be.

Rob Roy (1995)

Braveheart, with stronger characters and better acting, but on a smaller scale.

[8/10 · 13 March 2011]

Braveheart stole all of Rob Roy's thunder in 1995. Both movies are about a Scottsman seeking justice against his English antagonists. Both draw upon Scottish folk heroes and both take liberty with history to make good cinema. Where the two differ is in scale and character. Braveheart is filled with huge battle scenes and the story is similarly epic, encompassing all of Scotland and England. Rob Roy, for the most part, is about a single man defending his family and honor against those who have wronged him.

Robert Roy MacGregor (Liam Neeson) borrows money from, Montrose (John Hurt), an English lord, in order to purchase cattle to drive and sell at market. Two of the lord's household Killearn (Brian Cox) and Archibald Cunningham (Tim Roth) conspire to steal the money and frame MacGregor's friend Alan MacDonald (Eric Stoltz) after murdering him. With no means of repaying the debt, Montrose offers Rob Roy a deal, bear false witness against a rival lord and the debt will be forgiven. Rob Roy refuses to dishonor himself and becomes an outlaw instead leading to English reprisals and Scottish raids.

The movie is character driven and Tim Roth was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of the villainous Archibald Cunningham, who is truly a man to be despised and reviled. Liam Neeson's portrayal of Rob Roy is honorable and stoic, with just a bit of hero thrown in. The plot may not be larger than life but the cinematography, setting, and acting are. In many ways Rob Roy is a better film than Braveheart but, alas, it has gone largely unnoticed.

Easy A (2010)

Fantastic high-school comedy that is both witty and insightful.

[9/10 · 16 February 2011]

Easy A reminds me of Mean Girls, Veronica Mars, and The Assassination of a High School President. It is a fun, witty high-school comedy with serious undertones that are very effectively conveyed without being preachy.

Olive (Emma Stone) is an ordinary high-school girl that just doesn't want to hang out with her best friend, Rhriannon, (Alyson Michalka) one weekend. In order to escape she fabricates a date for the weekend, then spends said weekend at home, doing all kinds of unexciting and unremarkable things. Upon returning to school she is relentlessly questioned by Rhriannon in the girl's bathroom about her weekend. In order to get Rhriannon off her back Olive makes up a sex-filled lie that is overheard by the school Jesus freak, Marianne (Amanda Bynes). Thus the rumor is born and spread at the speed of text and overnight Olive becomes the school slut, who also happens still be a virgin. As nobody will believe otherwise, Olive embraces her new image (at least on the surface, she never actually becomes anything remotely resembling a slut) and begins to wear provocative clothing emblazoned with a scarlet "A" in reference to The Scarlett Letter, which she is studying in her English class.

What follows is a very witty and entertaining tale about peer pressure, the power of rumors, self-confidence, individuality, love and self-sacrifice. The movie is funny throughout and the supporting cast includes Malcolm McDowell, Thomas Haden Church, and Stanley Tucci, all of whom are just as entertaining as Emma Stone herself. I very highly recommend this film and plan on buying a copy for myself when I have the opportunity to do so.

Death Race (2008)

Not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be.

[5/10 · 12 January 2011]

Death Race really surprised me. I was expecting utter garbage but the movie was actually quite watchable and even entertaining. Keep in mind that it's not real heavy on plot, it is an action movie after all. In Death Race Jason Stathem plays a man framed for murdering his wife by a corrupt warden in order to boost ratings for her Death Race, which is basically NASCAR with machine guns, rockets, napalm, and death traps. The drivers are racing for their freedom but the warden isn't keen on letting anyone go. Most of the film is filled with gunfire, explosions, fast cars, and mindless violence of all sorts, but it is rather fun to watch and I must admit I was able to get in to the movie. Don't turn your brain on or the film will completely fall apart on you. Death Race looks and feels very much like a video game, one that I would happily buy (the game, not the movie it is just average after all).

2012 (I) (2009)

I generally dislike disaster films and this is no exception

[3/10 · 12 January 2011]

Perhaps I'm not being fair to this piece of crap, but really, blowing up the planet is getting old. Sure they tacked on a different explanation and change the faces but the movie might as well be a clone of every other disaster movie. If you like things blowing up in spectacular fashion then you might be OK, if you want anything else from your movie, do yourself a favor and look elsewhere. I'm also curious just how many near-misses and lucky coincidences I can reasonably be expected to buy in a 2 1/2 hour film (we couldn't have sped up the destruction of the planet just a tiny bit?). As far as physics goes....well light still seemed to work like it's supposed to, but other things, like inertia and gravity, seemed to have been turned off for this film. Sometimes disaster movies are actually watchable and even enjoyable, this film was neither. Dear Hollywood, stop blowing up the Earth and go back to burning skyscrapers, capsized ships, and tornadoes for more meaningful and believable disaster films, Love Gary.

The Slammin' Salmon (2009)

A better than average comedy, but it does not live up to Super Troopers.

[6/10 · 12 January 2011]

I really want to like Broken Lizard's movies, Super Troopers is one of the best comedies I have ever seen, but none of their subsequent movies even comes close to matching it. In The Slammin' Salmon the waitstaff of a high end seafood restaurant compete against each other to win $10,000 for selling the most food in one night. The eccentric former heavyweight boxer turned restaurant owner (Michael Clark Duncan) is amusing throughout the movie, as are the waitstaff themselves, but only for the last 40 min or so of the film. The big problem with The Slammin' Salmon is that it takes too long to really get going. Its not until the waitstaff finally get fired up about the contest and start sabotaging each other the film becomes truly funny. It's not a bad movie, and it is pretty funny at times, but it really could have been so much better.

U.S. Marshals (1998)

Watch The Fugitive instead, or if you have seen The Fugitive, don't bother with this film.

[5/10 · 12 January 2011]

The Fugitive is a fantastic movie, the pseudo-sequel, U.S. Marshals, is not. Gone is the compelling characterization and acting that made The Fugitive great. Tommy Lee Jones is still Sam Gerrard, the hard as nails, always-gets-his-man federal agent he was before, but with a few scenes that made a weak attempt to humanize the character. While these scenes were not disastrous, they took away from the invincible mystique of Gerrard and left me wondering, "did we really need that scene at all?". They seemed very out of place and almost tacked-on.

As for the fugitive in this movie, Wesley Snipes is a government super agent that is wrongfully accused of a double murder and taken into custody. He escapes and vows to find the man that set him up so he can be "righteous" again. A similar story but without much direction for most of the film. We don't have the mysterious one armed man to look for, in fact for most of the film we have no idea what Snipes' character is actually doing. It's hard to root for the man on the run when the audience doesn't know if he did it or not. Certainly the movie tries to portray Snipes as a sympathetic character, a loving girlfriend, he doesn't kill anyone while fleeing from the law, but it is very unconvincing as we are led from seemingly pointless chase scene to chase scene.

Near the end of the film the plot does finally come together, sort of, but when we find out who the real villain is there isn't enough time left to develop him at all and after it is all said and done, one line of dialogue is all we get to explain his actions. I couldn't help but wonder, where was the righteous monologue from traitor to hero rationalizing his actions? Alas all we get is an, "I did it", and a gunshot. A film fallen far from its inspiration into mediocrity.

The International (I) (2009)

Very average, rather forgettable.

[5/10 · 12 January 2011]

It takes awhile for the plot of The International to get going, so be prepared. When it does finally take off we find that an evil multinational banking institution has embarked on a Machiavellian plot to corner the market in small arms sales. To facilitate this ambitious scheme they have bribed politicians, police, banks, arms dealers, and just about everyone else in the entire EU, everyone is in on it, and those that aren't meet carefully calculated ends at the hands of hired assassins, all made to look like accidents of course. The plot is a bit too Byzantine for my taste and at times becomes somewhat difficult to follow (perhaps it was because my eyelids were a bit droopy in the beginning). When things do coalesce about halfway into the film it becomes rather good. The near capture of the assassin at the Guggenheim Museum in New York is particularly enjoyable. The film actually has a realistic ending that, for some, might not be very satisfying. I liked it because it was different, not everything came up roses, but it wasn't a completely tragic ending either. The International isn't a bad movie but I have definitely seen better.

The Wolfman (2010)

I don't like horror films but this one was fantastic!

[8/10 · 12 January 2011]

I don't like horror films, plain and simple. Vampires, werewolves, mummies, forgotten creatures from the depths, none of them do a thing for me, especially when they try to modernize medieval myths and add scientific explanations for the magical origins of such creatures. Fortunately for The Wolfman it makes no attempt to modernize lycanthropes, instead it faithfully depicts the story of the werewolf in a gorgeous late 19th century England. Full of period detail and wonderfully acted by Benico Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving, the movie really comes to life as a tragic tale of a family that has been cursed. The werewolf is brutal, savage, and frighteningly powerful and his rampages are indeed gory but they are not gratuitous. The CG is good but not great, but the effective use of music, cinematography, and outstanding acting make up for it. The Wolfman is a beautifully created period piece that far outshines the typical Hollywood tripe from this genre.

Chrysalis (I) (2007)

Very well made and definitely worth taking a chance on, but watch it with subtitles, the dubbing is terrible.

[7/10 · 12 January 2011]

OK, just so everyone knows it's a foreign film, French to be exact, and it is best watched in subtitles because the dubbing is terribad. If you can't stand to read your movie don't bother. Chrysalis is a sci-fi action thriller that pits an angry, vengeance driven Europol cop against a former Bulgarian special agent for control over the technology to create, implant, and erase human memories. The fight scenes are very well done and I really liked the "hard" fighting style that was employed rather than the "soft" martial arts so often seen in movies. The tech was very well done and low key, something I appreciated, too often sci-fi movies favor gadgets over plot. I liked the story but would have liked to have seen a bit more character development. All said I enjoyed the movie and I am glad I saw it.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

One of the best comedies ever made. The Coen brothers are brilliant!

[10/10 · 12 January 2011]

I firmly believe that if you do not find The Big Lebowski to be an extraordinarily funny film then there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Jeff Bridges is absolutely fantastic as "The Dude" a total burnout that is simply drifting through life and is caught up in an unlikely series of absolutely hysterical events. John Goodman and Steve Bushemi are outstanding as The Dude's close friends, and the exchanges between them are pure comedy gold. This is a brilliant, non-formula movie that is everything I wish Hollywood would be all the time,very funny,uniquely creative, and well acted and directed. Take the time to see The Big Lebowski if you have not already, and if you have, see it again.