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Reviews
Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)
Guilty of crimes against humanity...puts the horror in horrible.
You know, I really don't expect much out of zombie movies. You basically go into these knowing what to expect, but every now and then, you get one that manages to redefine what horror really is. In this case, horror is the 88 minutes of awfulness that is this film. Horrible dialogue, worse acting, and the assumption that the viewers themselves are as brain-dead as the zombies in the film. That ailment would be about the only way any form of entertainment is going to be had, unless you're a fan of an incohesive storyline, nonexistent direction or 20-something year-old teeny-boppers who couldn't act their way out of a wet paper sack. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that on the steaming pile of crap that the zombie film genre has become, this one is squarely at the top.
Director Ellory Elkayem should be tried for crimes against humanity, because that's exactly what this film is. In my opinion, he's managed to even usurp laughingstock Uwe Boll for the title of the world's most incompetent director. I'm sure some will say, "But it's just a zombie horror movie, you knew what it would be going in." Sure, that's true, but that just goes to show how this movie takes awful to a whole new level.You can tell that this is squarely aimed at a teenage, young adult audience (you can tell from all the "Extreme" content and the "metalcore" soundtrack), but knowing that just makes me ask this: Are the youthful really so dumb as to be entertained by this? I surely hope not...
Rocky Balboa (2006)
Rocky is back on top...
I went into this movie really wanting to like it, especially after the less than stellar Rocky V left the franchise in a place it shouldn't have been. Fortunately for me and everyone else, Sylvester Stallone has come through in a huge way, creating a film that thoroughly involves the viewer and has you rooting for the aging champion, just as you did in its predecessors. The use of flashbacks and cameos are key (I especially liked Spider Rico's inclusion), and really take you back to the humble beginnings of the original Rocky.
Everything is character-driven here, and the cast delivers. Stallone's performance is impressive (especially when you consider how he is often unfairly ridiculed), Burt Young is as great as ever as Paulie, and Tony Burton (Duke, Rocky's trainer) is as energizing as ever. New cast members Geraldine Hughes and Milo Ventimiglia also turn in convincing performances of characters you're vaguely familiar with, but who have grown up an awful lot since you last saw them. Finally, Antonio Tarver also turns in an adequate performance as the champion who has in a way lost his own "Eye of the Tiger" and learns what he's made of by the aging Champion and comes to respect him.
If you'll give Stallone and this film a chance, you'll be entertained. Stallone shows that he still has the heart and ability to make an engaging motion picture, and in that regard, his achievement with this film closely mirrors that of the Rocky Balboa character. When it comes to Stallone, critics and comics abound, but this should silence them, at least for a time. If you have to give credit where it's due, it's time Stallone got his. Whether this happens remains to be seen, but for fans of Stallone, Rocky, and honestly, film as entertainment in general, you'll have to agree that Rocky is indeed, back on top...
Serenity (2005)
Serenity now...
I just got in from seeing Joss Whedon's Serenity, and I have to say that I'm pleasantly surprised. I caught a couple of the Firefly episodes when it was on TV, and while I liked them well enough, I was never really what you'd call a big fan (Farscape on the other hand)...
Serenity drags you in and actually does what any good movie (or game) does, and that's make you care about the characters. Even if you've never seen a single episode of the show, it stands alone very well, and drops you into the universe so you know what's going on, without actually rehashing on everything that's already happened to the specific crew members in the show.
Good stuff, fine dialogue, just-enough-to-be-impressed effects work, and a story (and characters) that's a bit more grey than the usual high-contrast black and white morality you see in far too many of its ilk.
It's good watching, so go see it. I may well do so again next weekend...
Zoom Suit (2005)
Entertaining little short...
What first drew me to the Zoom Suit was it's numerous connections to Marvel's Iron Man. Now that I have a feel for the character, there is some of that, but it's woven its own storyline with a main character that is a whole lot less sure of himself, apt to make mistakes & lose confidence. Iron Man was cool and collected, always seemingly in control, Zoom Suit offers someone a little more like the rest of us...
The short is a bit rough around the edges, and the stylized visuals seem a bit irregular, jerky, but it's not bad (the prerendered bit at the end was quite nice though). This is early, and the finished product promises to be something to get excited about, especially if they keep drawing from talents like Gene Colan and Bob Layton.
Late for Dinner (1991)
Sentimental favorite...
Sure, this movie may be a bit on the predictable side, and the whole cryo-stasis thing might be a bit hard to swallow, but once you're able to get to the suspension of belief, what's left is a sweet, sentimental movie that's perfect for you and your special someone to cuddle up to as you watch.
Brian Wimmer and Peter Berg turn in terrific performances as brothers-in-law on-the-run from the authorities because of a crime they didn't commit. Wimmer comes across as being just as honest, caring and sincere as he needs to, which is considerable, since his character and performance depend on it. Berg, playing a somewhat-dimwitted man with a heart of gold is perfect, as he's often been in his minor, but memorable performances. The rest of the cast is more than competent, but the success of this movie depends on its two leads, and they come through with flying colors. You can't help but pull for these guys. One of the first thing a film-maker wants to do is get the audience interested and caring about the main characters, and trust me, you will be...
Funny and sweet, this is the perfect movie for a quiet night alone with your honey. If you consider yourself at all a romantic (love conquers all...and the like), you'll love this movie.
Wing Commander (1999)
Better than expected...
To be honest, as a long-time time player of the Wing Commander game, I was initially excited when I heard that a Wing Commander movie was in the works. Thanks to the game's high production values (at the time), and a very recognizable cast, it's one of those rare game series that would have always fit perfectly into movie form with little changes in design or plot line. Of course, Christ Roberts has to go and mess up a good thing, so he went out and found a younger cast (I would imagine to be more accessible to the "young people" who weren't really old enough to remember much about the games), completely redesigned the ships (not a good thing, for the games' designs were truly inspired for the most part, especially when compared to the WWII-inspired heaps in this film) and basically threw in a pseudo-religious subplot to muck things up a bit.
In case you weren't able to gather it from above, I really wasn't expecting much of this film, and frankly, after having watched it, I'm rather pleasantly surprised. The CGI, while not up to par with what you'll see today, is quite respectable, particularly wide space combat and HUD shots (this is probably what Wing Commander would look like on the X-Box), and the acting is actually quite competent, with the possible exception of Prinze, who while not terrible, just doesn't seem cast all that well here. Tchéky Karyo is the consumate actor as always, taking a role that could easily be taken for granted and fleshing it out quite well, while Matthew Lillard manages to be a bit less nauseating that usual, even bordering on the endearing.
This isn't a film without flaws. Aside from the aforementioned ship design, which could have been better handled by simply using the game design, the Kilrathis simply look terrible. While it was obvious that the Kilrathi in the games were simply big, fuzzy catsuits, the movie versions are simply ugly, appearing to be an animatronic half-breed of the game Kilrathi and Star Trek's Klingons, with little to no facial animation aside from moving mouths and glowing eyes. It's fortunate that they're only seen a couple of times, because while they're onscreen you can't help but think that it could have been done far better.
All in all, while a classic by no means, Wing Commander actually surprised me, and as far as modern sci-fi movies go (though it must be said that this is actually more of an old-fashioned war movie set in a sci-fi setting), this managed to please much more than I had expected. I give it: 7/10.
The Musketeer (2001)
Disappointing...
I really wish I had seen this one in the cinema, because if I had, it would have saved me from my most disappointing DVD purchase of the year. This is a frightfully bad adaption of Alexandre Dumas' classic work, not so much because of the locations, sets and costumes used, which are all quite good, but because of the totally inept "actors" cast.
You expect a cast of this type of movie to be dynamic and fun, to breathe life into the story, but they only prove to take it to the morgue. In fact, most of the cast either seems to lack the ability to act entirely, or seem to be in a daze of disbelief. Only Tim Roth manages to convey any emotion in his performance, and then he manages to overact quite regularly, as if to make up for those around him. Some exchanges between characters are so wooden in fact (expecially those between Justin Chambers and Mena Suvari) that I find it hard to believe that they learned their lines at all, but were reading their lines from a badly-muddled cue card. To call the acting poor is something of an understatement.
If there is anything worth noting about this movie, it is the fight choreography, handled competently by Xin-Xin Xiong (Half Past Dead, Double Team) who seems to be destined to do live out his career doing great stunt coordination work in terribly subpar movies. The fights are crisp, complex and a spectacle to behold, but therein lies the problem, because they're also completely unbelievable. You don't expect a Musketeer to be making moves the likes of which would only be seen in 'The Matrix' or 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,' yet he does, and by the end of D'Artagnan's first fight, something just feels amiss.
Unless you're a big fan of over-the-top fight scenes, I can't stress enough how much you should avoid this movie. 3 of 10.
Spider-Man (2002)
Entertaining and true in spirit...
I have to admit that I wasn't exactly looking forward to Spiderman, in fact, I was even loathing it, so much so that I'm only now seeing it for the first time on DVD. While I do like Spiderman, lets just say that the execution in super hero movies is very much hit and miss. Luckily, Sam Raimi, himself a fan of everyone's favorite "Non-Mutant Superhero," has a hit on his hands.
Visually speaking, Spiderman offers plenty of eye-candy, and while it's not altogether convincing at times, overall, it's quite impressive. The CGI is well-done, and aside from a couple of stiff animations, manages to convince you that you're seeing Spiderman on your screen. While the Green Goblin persona is a bit different visually from the comic's antagonist, it's for the better, and offers me a bit of hope on the level that Marvel will be able to dish out when it gets around to the Iron Man movie.
Acting is a mixed back, with some very flat performances by some of the cast, the Dafoe is excellent as the maniacal Green Goblin (wouldn't you love to see him as the Joker in Batman?). Maguire seems wooden at times, but is generally good, and is able to convey a lot of the emotion needed through his facial expressions. The only other notable among the cast would be J.K. Simmons, who nails J. Jonah Jameson to a "T." Once again, Kirsten Dunst is nice to look at, but just doesn't feel right for this role.
Overall, though not the best super hero movie to date, it's an entertaining flick that fans of the comic series will love. There have been some changes made from the comic (the "web glands" being one of the more noticeable), but actually work in this case, probably due again to the fact that Raimi is a fan of the material.