imperial_wizard Reviews

Dead Pet (1999 Video)

damn funny

[9/10 · 26 August 2004]

Dead Pet is a hilarious independent comedy that ranks up there with Clerks on my top ten independant films.

Here's the deal: Jake (writer-director of the film Kevin Cotteleer) is a college kid who comes home to find his parents have spent his college on their poodle Miko. He moves out, and one of his friends accidentally kills Miko while trying to sorta make-out with his girlfriend. Much chaos ensues, featuring weird situations such as a fight in the lawn between two girls, a cutlery sales industry that is like a cult where Jake gets his job (providing for the funniest scenes in the film), his friends begin to doubt him, activists sit outside his yard thinking he killed the dog screaming "bring Jake to justice! justice for Miko!" and all sorts of other weird, very indie-film-esque situations with sharply written dialogue an well-done cinema antics.

Dead Pet is definetly worth checking out if you dig on funny, witty, quirky, weird, and sorta plotless films where characters deteriorate in a comedic way.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

brilliant

[10/10 · 20 March 2004]

This movie had everything that a good movie should have. drama, comedy, romance, imagination, good performances from all of the actors, and a very creative storyline. In fact, the only thing that I could find wrong with it was that they didn't play ELO's "mr blue sky" like they did in the trailer. oh well, Kaufman has done it again-he's delivered a wild, crazy romp through an interesting world, with a sci-fi situation, but characters that are more believable than five Bad Boys 2's. I liked this one better than any of Kaufman's other efforts, although I did like all of Kaufman's other films. It reminded me quite a bit of Being John Malkovich, with all of this stuff going on in Carrey's mind. the operation lasted a lot longer than I thought it would, as it covered more than half of the film. But that was one of the best parts, in fact, it was probably the best part, especially when you see Carrey and Winslet going through his memories trying to dodge the erasers who are doing the operation on him. He realizes that he loves Winslet, and that he doesn't want her deleted from his memory. One of the most hilarious moments of the film is when Carrey is trapped in his child's body with his own adult head. Charlie Kaufman's scripts, as wild as they get, always seem to have a little insight or emotional core around them. With Being John Malkovich, is was trying to be somebody you're not to get what you want, it was the element of disguise in humans. with Adaptation, it was the brotherly love and of trying to get that creative membrane fired. With Confessions of a Dangerous Mind it just seemed to be the fact that when you do something bad, you may hate yourself later for doing it. this film has the biggest emotional core of all of his films, as Joel, Jim Carrey's character, tries to stop Clemintine (kate winslet) from being erased from his memory. a brilliant masterpiece and wonderful achievement in filmmaking. ****

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2001)

impressive

[9/10 · 28 December 2003]

I have yet to see the tv series, but the film is an excellent anime achievement, and really is more Tarantinoesque than it is sci-fiesque. It is a fun watch, with some cool characters, it doesn't take itself too seriously (which is good) and it makes sure that it has a lot of good action along the way. If quentin tarantino had made a sci-fi flick, this would have been it!

Sleuth (1972)

one of the best movies ever

[20 August 2003]

the best film of it's year (how did The Godfather win best picture and this not even get nominated?) Caine and Olivier are great in their parts, and despite it being a long 2 hour/15 minute ride through these characters, it's still great, it doesn't bore you for a second. Let's just say that Sleuth is a brilliant movie.

Grand Theft Auto (1997 Video Game)

one of the best games of it's time!

[7 August 2003]

this game is excellent and I just want to say that despite the graphics, it is still an excellent game. It's funny, fun, and well, entertaining. it's not as good as GTA 3 and GTA: Vice City, but who cares?? for it's time, it's marvelous! 8/10

Doggy Fizzle Televizzle (2002–2003)

so f***ing funny!

[25 July 2003]

this is so funny. Snoop Dogg should have just been an entertainer all of his life, instead of being a dumbass rapper. anyhow, this is great. check it out sometime on MTV. and I don't usually like MTV very much.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

great movie!

[10/10 · 25 July 2003]

this movie is a very good film. it has good performances particularly by Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Eric Stoltz, Amanda Plummer, Uma Thurman. It was a great ride, and my favorite part is the last story, The Bonnie Situation. Any of these stories could have been made in to longer, full length films. But I'm glad they were all crammed in to the same, excellent movie. Best film of 1994, but only just a notch above Forrest Gump and The Shawshank Redemption.

Stand by Me (1986)

one of the best adventure films ever made.

[25 July 2003]

Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, and that one other kid all deliver surprisingly good performances in this excellent Rob Reiner film. this gets my highest recommendations, it's a masterpiece, and when it ended, I wanted more. I wanted a longer adventure. I love this film, and this shows that horror is definetely not the only thing that Stephen King can write.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

best film (tied) of 1999

[10/10 · 16 July 2003]

this and american beauty are easily the best films of '99. this film is so goddam original, I think that it's easily on my list of the weirdest films of all time. Jonze's direction is top notch, and Kaufman's writing is excellent. Both deserved oscars, and both were robbed by American Beauty, which was an excellent film, but was not too well directed, so I would have at least given Jonze the directorial oscar, and probably Kaufman the screenplay too, but AB the best film award. This is an excellent black comedy-fantasy.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2002 Video Game)

one of the best games ever made!

[10 July 2003]

this game has it all, but the city isn't as cool as liberty city and the gangs aren't nearly as cool. the main character, tommy vercetti isn't as cool looking as in GTA3. GTA3 is better, but this one is still awesome!

The Tuxedo (2002)

Sucked

[3/10 · 28 December 2002]

this movie is one of the worst I have seen in a long time! The plot is completely uncomprehensible, and the acting is terrible. The sexual content is crude, and me, being a Jackie Chan fan, expected a lot from the movie. Well, lets just say I didn't get my expectations.

Gangs of New York (2002)

Walked out

[5/10 · 28 December 2002]

Haven't walked out on a film in years - the last time was "Less Than Zero" in the 80's.... excessive violence, Day-Lewis was laughable (his accent keeps changing from Bostonian to Bronx), DiCaprio too vulnerable for what he was supposed to have lived through - Thomas was the only redeeming factor in this film. Embarrasses me to say I'm Irish...

Signs (2002)

By Far Mel Gibson's Best Film!

[10/10 · 31 August 2002]

Sure, Braveheart was a good film, but way too gory for some people, especially a guy who is extremely sensitive to pain like me. Well, if it is not his best film, it IS his best performance, and you can't disagree with that! Mel is playing a sensitive character, not a huge tough guy hero. Joaquin Phoenix is really good also. It is beautifully directed, cinematographied, acted, and the musical score and sound is great too! Look for this film at the oscars!

Minority Report (2002)

the best movie that I have seen in 2002 alongside Signs

[9/10 · 31 August 2002]

This movie and Signs are the best movies that I have seen in 2002. Tom Cruise does an excellent job of a sensitive vulnerable action hero. He shows great emotion and passion, but he can still be our brave hero. I was on the edge of my seat this whole movie! Look out for this movie at the oscars. I'm sure it will win Best Supporting Actress (Samantha Morton), Best Visual Effects, and Best Adapted Screenplay. This could also win Best Picture, but I think either Signs or Insomnia will win this. Max Von Sydow has a chilling performance (warning: spoiler) as a man who has outsmarted the system. Colin Farrell has a great performance also. This movie, visually, is amazing. It could win Best Cinematography but looking at the first Lord of the Rings movie, I think the second one will take home the cinematography award for this year. Samantha Morton plays a great performance. I'm positive that she will win the Oscar for her role. Steven Spielberg, well, I would say that he would win Best Director, but M. Night Syamalan did a beautiful directing job in Signs, but Steven is my second pick. If you have not seen this movie, then you should go see it RIGHT NOW!!!

The Cosby Show (1984–1992)

The Best 80s TV Show!

[31 August 2002]

Hilarious! I love the Cosby show and I always watch the reruns on Nick. I think this show deserved to be on longer than it was (although I do admit the later episodes were not as funny as the earlier.) Well, hopefully Mr. Cosby creates a new show about an African-American family, because the Cosby show is the best of the comedy shows about families.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)

This film DID NOT get the credit it deserved!!!!!!!!

[10/10 · 28 August 2002]

Ok, it should have won best picture at the oscars, best sound, best cinematography, best original score and best supporting actor (Wes Studi.) This is most definetely is the best film of 1992. Daniel Day Lewis does a really good job as a tough guy, Wes Studi does and excellent job as a malicious native american, and the rest of the cast is just as good too. I compare the cinematography to the Lord of the Rings's. It deserved what it did not get is a good way to put it. This should be on the top 250 right behind the Lord of the Rings. I have no idea why I do not own this movie yet. It has great costumes and makeup, and the sound puts you right in the battle (which is why it won a well deserved only oscar for the sound.) The Last of the Mohicans has some really good visual effects too (the battles between the French and the English.) This film is the visually the best film next to the Lord of the Rings. Go see it if haven't. I highly recommend it.

As Good as It Gets (1997)

Probably the best comedy ever

[22 August 2002]

One of the best movies ever, and probably the best comedy ever, this film has it all. It has great acting, a great script, very sophisticated characters, and overall, it is a very good film. Jack Nicholson at his best (definately deserving the oscar he won) and Helen Hunt at her greatest (also deserving her oscar), and Greg Kinnear is a great actor in it also (deserving the oscar he lost.) Other good performances come from Skeet Ulrich, Cuba Gooding JR, and Yeardly Smith. What I'm trying to say is, THIS FILM SHOULD HAVE WON BEST PICTURE! Titanic was not very good and didn't deserve the oscar. I don't care if Titanic won everything else it won, just not best picture! As Good As It Gets definetely swept the whole world of comedy over and showed film makers a new meaning of the hilarious movie genre.

Nirvana Live! Tonight! Sold Out!! (1994 Video)

A Great Concert Movie

[10/10 · 19 August 2002]

Nirvana, my favorite band put this together during the summers of 1991 and 1992. This video shows different songs from various concerts per- formed by the band. The great songs highlight this video. It is one of my favorite musicals, and is highly recommended for fans of the band.

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

not great at all

[17 August 2002]

When I saw this film, I had not really high expectations for it, but fairly high ones. So, I rented it once on the recommendation of a friend (I never took his advice again) and I was extremely dissapointed. It was not very good. It had all the points to a Razzie Award winning film (although, surprisingly it did not win or even get nominated for any.) It had horrible characters, costumes that would be great for a stage show, but terrible for a modern fantasy movie. It had bad makeup (look at Damadar's lips and other details) and the worst visual effects that I have ever seen in a fantasy movie that I have seen in a long time. The script was very bad, and there was way to much overacting (Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Jason Whalon, Bruce Payne, and at times, Marlon Wayons.) Thora Birch played a copycat of Queen Amidala, just in a different film. My point is, if you want to go see a good fantasy film, go see The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

Merlin and the Dragons (1991 TV Movie)

surprisingly good

[15 August 2002]

when I first watched this, before I saw it, I thought it was going to be a idiotic kids animated flick. guess what: it wasn't. it had a very strong story. probably on of the best short films. I highly recommend it. Kevin Kline has the perfect voice for the narration of this tale of adventure and fantasy. go out and see it now!

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

A review of a spectacular film!

[10/10 · 6 August 2002]

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is a modern marvel. It has great performances, stunts, and visual effects. Lets start with the performances. Elijah Wood is great as Frodo, and it actually seems as if he is in grave peril. Sean Astin gives a fairly good performance as Sam. The other two Hobbits aren't as good as Frodo and Sam, but they give us not horrible performances, but not great ones either. When I saw this, and I saw Ian McKellen as Gandalf, I thought that the character was written for him. He should have won the oscar for it, but a nomination is still fair enough. Viggo Mortenson deserved a oscar nomination for his performance as the Ranger/Heir of Gondor Aragorn. He was great. John Rhys Davies does a quite good job as Gimli the Dwarf. Sean Bean gives us a convincing role as Borimir. Orlando Bloom, gives a very good performance for a breakthrough role. Christopher Lee also deserved at least a Golden Globe for his role as Saruman the evil wizard of the Istari. Cate Blanchett's role as the Lady Galadriel should have gotten an Oscar or Golden Globe nomination. Hugo Weaving had a great performance as the Elven Lord Elrond. Liv Tyler isn't great as Arwen, but she isn't too bad either. With few exceptions, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring has phenomenal roles and performances. The Fellowship of the Ring also gives us great filming and phenomenons within the video. Such as, the awesome cinematography that it won a well deserved Oscar for. The makeup on the Orcs was extroadinary, which it also won an Oscar for. Oscar winning digital visual effects also make this movie extremely fun to watch. This film's oscar winning musical score is great, with every musical note matching the scene that we are watching. Personally, I don't completely think that it should have won Best Picture, but I do think that it should have won Best Director, because director Peter Jackson does a completely spectacular job at bringing Middle Earth alive on the big screen. The costumes they should have won an oscar for, since they are completely fascinating and mind blowing. What I'm trying to say is, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is quite possibly the greatest fantasy epic of all time, and you should go see it as soon as possible.