XyphoidProcess Reviews

Left Behind (I) (2014)

I can't give it -10 stars, so I gave it 1.

[1/10 · 19 May 2019]

A badly written and acted movie that tries to shove crazy religious thoughts down your throat. Things like sattelite phones and other communications not working and planes not having automatic pilot when the pilot disappears are even more unbelievable than people disappearing.

The people who are "left behind" are more sympathetic than the religious people in this movie. I don't know what the purpose of this movie was, but I wasn't entertained and I hate religion even more now.

And I want 1,5 hour of my life back.

Antitrust (2001)

Original thriller with a touch of realism

[8/10 · 21 August 2009]

Watched the movie yesterday on TV (third time I saw it. First two times I didn't see the whole movie).

I didn't give a 10/10 because there were still some issues.

The lead actor, for example, just doesn't looks and acts like a geek. They didn't have to cast a guy with glasses and suspenders, but a guy who looks less like he fell off the catwalk. Sometimes the dialog isn't written very well and doesn't sound natural. This makes the actors sound really bad. Tim Robbins was great in the Shawshank Redemption, but in this movie some his lines make him sound like he's a villain in a superhero movie.

But it wasn't all bad (else I wouldn't have given it 8/10).

The technical stuff was done a little more realistic than most movies. Although some things were still done "like in the movies", because it's more exciting to hear someone say "You have to create the code for user interface to generate the movie!" than "Could you save the movie as an AVI file?". And copying a CD can be done in 20 seconds, because watching someone copying a CD for 10 minutes makes boring movie experience.

I also liked the subject of the movie: open-source software. I am not against companies like Microsoft or Apple that make money with software. But I do like the idea of making people aware of open-source software, so that they can decide what they want to use.

It's not the best thriller around, but more original than the cop-chasing-serial-killer-plot. If you just look at it as a movie and not as an attack on Microsoft or propaganda for open-source, it's a very good thriller that made me get behind the computer to code whole night long :P

The One (2001)

There will be only one....hmmm where have I heard that before?

[7/10 · 26 February 2009]

Not the best Jet Li movie. But one of the best he made in Hollywood (not so hard, 'cause most movies he made in Hollywood suck).

It's fun to see all of my favorite people working together: Jet Li, Jason Statham, Glen Morgan, James Wong (I'm a big Space: Above and Beyond fan).

Not very original story, but the fight scenes are good, so I forgive the copying from other movies. Not as good as Hong Kong wireworks, but still better than any Hollywood action flick. No irritating zoomed in fight scenes and shaking camera's.

Nice soundtrack too.

The 4400 (2004–2007)

Very good plot, very bad series

[3/10 · 25 February 2009]

Just finished watching Taken and was surprised to see Joel Gretsch and Michael Moriarty again. The plot of the 4400 is very cool. No aliens, but people from the future.

It's just too bad that the story doesn't make me wanna know more about the characters. I do wanna know why all of those people were taken and why they were changed, but it wouldn't be a disaster if I never find out (which will be the case, since the show has been canceled...). Most of the actors were good, but even they couldn't take the story to a higher level.

I still give the show three stars, because of the soundtracks. The theme song is very cool and relaxing (like most of the songs they use).

Taken (2002)

I lost 15 hours

[2/10 · 22 February 2009]

Just finished the last episode of Taken and as Dakota Fanning perfectly put it, I've been left with even more questions than before I began watching Taken.

For instance, why did it take 10 2,5 hour episodes to tell a story that could have been told in 4 or 5? Why didn't they cut out all scenes with Heather Donahue (her acting was irritating and bad)? Why does Steven Spielberg thinks that people who got taken (if it's really true) should just suck it up and deal with it, because it is for a greater good? The story at some times is really slow paced and boring. I sat through all the episodes (sometimes it took a lot of effort), because I wanted to know if there was a good ending.

*** SPOILER (well, kinda)*** The ending sucked, because there was no explanation at all. It felt like I was taken and dropped off at the beginning of the miniseries and nothing ever happened. Spielberg really has to stop with aliens (I mean, Indiana Jones and aliens?????).

Some of the actors were good. Dakota Fanning, Adam Kaufman, Ryan Hurst and Emily Bergl were some of the best. Some had roles that were too small or unbelievable. Others were just too crappy for words.

I want my 15 hours back that were taken from me...

Supernatural: Monster Movie (2008) Season 4, Episode 5

X-Files anyone?

[6/10 · 16 February 2009]

Supernatural is a superfun and cool series. Some of the episodes remind me of X-Files episodes. This one reminds me of the X-Files episode "The Post-Modern Prometheus". Not only because the bartender asks Dean and Sam if they are some kind of Mulder and Scully.

Not the best episode of the series, but it still was funny as hell. The acting was not as (intentionally) bad as "The Post-Modern Prometheus". So it didn't really feel like an old monstermovie.

Not much special effects, so it looked just like a normal episode, but in black and white.

Because it is part of a great series I gave it 6 out of 10.

The Mist (2007)

Best horror without a lot of gore

[8/10 · 17 January 2009]

This is one of the best horror-movie I've seen in years. Maybe I'm biased, because I like most Stephen King stories. But this movie is in my best-horror-movies-without-a-lot-of-gore list along with "Needful Things" (also a Stephen King story), "The Ring" (the original Japanese version) and "Cube". Most of these movies deal with real horror: human behaviour. What will people do in certain situations? Before I go on I want to state that I also like horror with a little more gore, like "Saw" for example.

"The Mist" tells us how far people will go when they find themselves in a situation that is scary and/or confusing. I think that the group of people in the movie is a reflection of today's society and that King is trying to show us what we might do when the world is really going to hell and society falls apart. I used "might" and not "will" because not everybody will react the same, but this is a pretty believable scenario (the reaction part, not the monsters in the mist part) and it teaches us that sometimes it's better to act according to instinct and feeling, like the woman in the beginning of the movie.

I didn't give it a 10/10, because the special effects look cheap at some times, but luckily there aren't many scenes that have special effects. The ending is great, but the reason for it to end this way should have been written better.

If you like horror-movies where you have to leave your brain turned on, than, check out "The Mist", else stick with "Saw".

The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

Disrespectful ending

[1/10 · 22 November 2008]

I finished all nine seasons of the X-Files a couple of days ago (including "Fight The Future"). And although the quality of season 8 and 9 weren't always as high as the previous seasons, they were not bad.

***** SPOILER ALERT ***** I don't know what Chris Carter was thinking when he made this movie. It was slow paced, boring and superficial. It had no monsters, no aliens and no conspiracies. It wasn't even an X-File. And even for a normal thriller it was bad. Even worse than Transformers and Indiana Jones IV combined...

Mulder and Scully were there, but they didn't feel like Mulder and Scully. And I was still in my X-Files rush having watched all nine seasons in less than two months. How will people feel when they haven't seen the show for a long time? They expect to see Mulder and Scully again, but instead they get the pale reflections of Mulder and Scully.

This wouldn't be so bad if the story was good. But the worst MOTW episode from the series is even better than this garbage. I mean, what's up with all the body parts? Why didn't they just burn the parts or fed them to the dogs? And why did the guy's eyes bleed? And why did the FBI ask Mulder to help search for one agent? Because they didn't believe the psychic and Mulder does? What's the point of calling Mulder if they don't believe the psychic in the first place?

Chris Carter could have ended the X-Files with a bang. Instead he offended the fans, scared away people who could have become fans and kicked the X-Files disrespectful to it's grave.

The X-Files: Chinga (1998) Season 5, Episode 10

There's gotta be an explanation...

[7/10 · 10 October 2008]

Although co-written by Stephen King, the plot of this episode feels like a cheap horror flick. I'm a big fan of all of King's stories, but especially the ones in which he makes you scared of normal things or people. This episode had little "Stephen King" and lots of "Chucky". This is the first time that I've seen this episode (I've missed a lot when it was aired here) and I think it's worth seeing it for a second time, but only for the jokes and not for the plot. So 7 stars for the jokes.

****SPOILERS*****

The weak plot aside (I mean, why would they throw the burnt doll in the water?), I really liked the jokes. The one where you only hear the sound of the movie that Mulder is watching. And knowing what kinda movies he likes, you would think he's watching one of those. Only to find out it really was "The World's Deadliest Swarms". It was also fun to see that Mulder doesn't know what to do when Scully is not around.

Well, I'm off to work...Where's my pencil sharpener...