j-burke-2 Reviews

Shutter Island (2010)

Over-hyped, wretched refuse

[1/10 · 2 March 2010]

I really don't know what to say.

I just know I would have like to read my review before plunking down $50 to go see this movie.

My wife and I came away from this movie laughing, and not because of its comedic genius. This movie was terrible; especially when you consider the immense talent featured on the screen and behind the camera. This was Leo's worst, most forces, over-acted performance that I've ever seen. There was no suspense; no intrigue, no scary moments. We had most of it figured out within 30 minutes.

Leo showed up in the final scenes and the final reveal was moving, but it was far too little, far too late.

The Book of Eli (2010)

Give me a break

[3/10 · 23 January 2010]

This movie gets a 3 for two reasons.

1. Denzel Washington is maybe the most watchable actor of all time. He is captivating. He stirs the viewer viscerally. He makes bad movies watchable, this being a prime example.

2. The cinematography is extraordinary. The camera angles, coloring, shadowing, CGI, and the over-all visuals of this movie are extremely cool.

As for all the rest, give me a break. The ending has a couple of plot twists that are intended to leave your mind spinning as the realization sets in. In actuality, you spend the next hour realizing how stupid they are, and how ridiculous they make the whole movie in retrospect. As you look back on the movie there is so much that is not plausible that it becomes impossible to buy into the world of this movie.

The acting of Gary Oldman and his band of baddies is clichéd and tired. Mila Kunis, while very hot and a decent actor, is miscast here and her character is ridiculous.

To say I can't wait for the sequel, "The Book of Mila", is to say that I enjoy colonoscopies.

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Booyah! A scary movie that's actually scary.

[7/10 · 31 December 2009]

This is definitely a movie to be enjoyed in the comfort of your own home. Turn off all the lights, put the kids to bed, crank up the surround sound, and put yourself in the actors shoes. This movie is off the charts creepy.

Yes, there are definitely several "come on" moments where that will require you to suspend logic in order to play along. Overall, this movie rocks.

For my wife and I, this was the fourth movie in four days. I saw 'Avatar' in the theater Sunday and was completely and totally blown away. Then, we were tortured, as we slogged our way through the painful experiences of 'Extract' and 'The Goods'. These two mind-numbingly bad movies waste talent and resources worse than the Unites States Congress.

Then last night, 'Paranormal Activity' put a fright in me that I hadn't experienced since I was a kid. I found myself saying a little prayer as I tried to fall asleep. And, when I strangely awoke at 4:44am for no apparent reason, falling back asleep was next to impossible.

Any movie that keeps me thinking about it the next day has on some level succeeded. This movie is definitely better than 'Blair Witch' or 'Cloverfield' or any of the other recent horror entries. I definitely recommend this movie.

Well done!

Avatar (2009)

Stunning, epic cinematic experience

[10/10 · 28 December 2009]

Without a doubt, this was the single most amazing display of movie making that I or my family have ever watched. For all of you out there criticizing this movie because of the cartoonish characitures, or the simplistic plot, or the liberal pontification; you are completely missing the boat. You literally cannot see the forest for the trees.

I will admit, entering the movie I was trepidatious over the reported 3 hour running time, but the movie flew by quicker than many 90 minute yawners. We will be going to see it again in a couple of weeks.

The cool factor was off the charts. The visual stimulation from seeing it in 3D was something I'd never experienced at the movies before. The movie enveloped me and washed over me. I felt as though I was on Pandora. Incredible.

Yes the imperialists were cartoonish, but they often are in real life too. The plot was simple, but that simplicity enable the viewer to focus on everything else that was going on.

The word I kept repeating for hours afterwards was "Amazing". This is the first movie that I've given a "10" rating on my vote.

My wife and my 11 year old son agree, you absolutely owe it to yourself to go see this movie. You won't be sorry you did.

The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

Wretched, boring drivel

[1/10 · 12 November 2009]

If there were a lower score than 1, this movie would have earned it. I don't understand what everyone is raving about. Normally, I value the reviews of my peers on this site. Never before has the feedback I've gotten here been so polar opposite to my opinion. My family and I had to fight back leaving this movie early; and we never leave a movie early.

A lot could be explained had I known this came from the same team that churned out Leatherheads, which until this movie, had been George Clooney's worst movie.

This movie is not funny at any time. It is not clever. It is not entertaining. There is not one redeeming nugget that can be taken away from this misadventure. I can only pray that my words reach anyone out there contemplating a trip to the theater. STOP! You will never get your two hours back, and that is all you will think about when it is over. Two hours of your life that would've been better spent watching paint dry.

The fact that George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges signed on for this ridiculous borefest, makes me rethink my opinion of each of these actors. It is a more believable sign that the end of the world is upon us that anything I will see in 2012.

Avoid this movie like the plague. You've got choices right now....well, at least Law Abiding Citizen is pretty good, and This Is It is worth a watch. I'm hopeful for 2012 and Pirate Radio.

As to the reviews in this forum that claim "Goats" is a good movie, I would question if they have a vested interest in the box office receipts. To say this movie is good would be the equivalent of saying a pile of crap has a nice aroma and is quite tasty.

This Is It (2009)

Revealing the Tragic Truth

[7/10 · 30 October 2009]

Being 42 years old, I grew up along with Michael Jackson. I am a music lover and fan of Michael for decades, but never a fanatic. Like many, I'd grown weary of Michael's weirdness and written him off as a delusional, prima donna superstar that thought none of the rules applied to him; a man that had squandered his enormous talent.

When the 50 shows at London's O2 were announced, I immediately doubted they would ever happen; that Michael would never do a show because he no longer had the ability to dance and sing as he had.

With Michael's tragic death, news surfaced of the level of his drug addictions and his homosexuality. Suddenly, everything made sense. Here we had a man who never had a childhood, that genuinely loves children. He was driven into seclusion by his own guilt; guilt about his addiction and about his sexual orientation. Everyone believed he was a child molestor because he is so effeminate, loved to be around children, and the two court cases. Those claims have proved untrue or were outright recanted.

"This Is It" demonstrated beyond a doubt that if Michael could have gotten clean from drugs, all of his talent would have resurfaced. The two hour movie pieced together many rehearsals. On some days, the old Michael was there and sounded brilliant and I believed he could have done the shows. On other days, his body was there, but not his soul.

It was sad to see such a talent wrecked by the evils of drug-addiction. I imagine many of Elvis' fans felt the same way shortly before his death.

"This Is It" is a captivating musicmentary. It works on so many levels. It is a brilliant revue of all of Michael's greatest songs. It is a glimpse of what might of been, and it is profound statement of the evils of drug addiction. It is sad that no one in his life was willing to risk their spot on the gravy train in order to save his life and intervene.

One sad fact is certain, "This Is It."

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Be Warned

[6/10 · 29 August 2009]

This is what happens when a director becomes more powerful than the studio. This movie is easily 45 minutes too long. The 70-80% subtitle reading becomes worklike in a movie 2:40 long.

That said, this is a fantastically acted movie. Most scenes keep you riveted to the screen awaiting (fearing) what is about to happen. I do feel that the subtitles detracted from the greatness of the acting and caused us to miss some of the nuances of their performances. The lead Nazi, Col. Hans, was beyond compare. His role was worth the price of admission. Brad Pitt was funny and understated, and I believe under-utilized.

The action sequences were blunt force trauma to the senses; beautifully simple and graphically accurate. Several of the more brutal scenes will be remembered forever.

Inspite of some other reviewers here, I enjoyed the fantastical rewriting of history.

Overall, this was an excellent movie with great acting and directing. It just needed to be shorter with less sub-titles.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Summer Blockbuster Hits the Mark

[8/10 · 26 June 2009]

I'm not quite sure why this movie is receiving such terrible reviews. The so-called critics (with whom I almost never agree), predictably blasted it. But usually, I get a good idea of the movie from the IMDb crowd. Even though it was getting bad reviews here, my 10 year old son was dead set on seeing, so off to the movies we went.

To my pleasant surprise, I found this movie every bit as entertaining as the first, maybe even better. The action was intense, the machinery was awe-inspiring, and Megan Fox is incredibly HOT! There was humor sprinkled in and John Torturro was a hoot.

I guess if I went to the theater looking for character development, unexpected plot twists, and the unveiling of the meaning of life, this movie would not deliver. But I'd be pretty stupid going to this movie expecting those things now wouldn't I? This movie hits a home run. It is everything it was supposed to be. And finally, we know what the pyramids were for and by who.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)

Sequel has no heart; simply terrible

[1/10 · 26 May 2009]

My 10 year old son and I plot our movie viewing future based on the trailers we see at other movies. Having seen the trailer for Night 2 countless times, we were excited for the sequel; especially given how much we enjoyed the first one.

The talented cast of characters set loose in an atmosphere as limitless as the Smithsonian Institute lent itself to unending possibilities. This could have been a great movie.

Unfortunately, this was a lifeless dud of a movie. It was amazing how boring it was considering the amount of funny people in it. By far, the funniest scenes were in the trailer. It was more like a Saturday Night Live skit that they'd thought up, rehearsed, and acted out all in a week's time.

For us, this was a huge disappointment and I would not recommend it to anyone; child or adult.

Tropic Thunder (2008)

Home Run

[9/10 · 20 August 2008]

This movie will go down as a classic.

The leading trio of Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. were all on their A-games. Stiller proves to be an excellent director. The dialogue was hilarious. The characters were masterfully carried out by the actors.

But, Tom Cruise steals the show. His character is so hilariously over the top funny, everyone else pales by comparison. I was totally blown away by his ability to be self-deprecating and immerse himself in such a character that has absolutely no redeeming qualities. I couldn't stop laughing every time he was on the screen. He even sent me out of the theater laughing out loud. Great movie, but definitely earned its R rating. I will see it again and buy the DVD.

The Dark Knight (2008)

The Greatest Super Hero Movie of ALL TIME

[9/10 · 20 July 2008]

Like everyone else, I came in hearing this was a great movie. I couldn't even find one review that said it was bad; which was weird. Normally, when I go into a movie with high expectations, I am disappointed. Not the case here at all.

The Dark Knight is a tremendously well-told story, with fantastic and realistic special effects. The musical score heightens the viewers emotion. The script and plot were superb.

The real home run was the acting. Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, and all the mafia dons were on their A-games. The acting made the 2 1/2 hours fly by. Christian Bale's Bat Man is so completely superior to previous attempts at the character, it bears little resemblance to Keaton's, Kilmer's, or Clooney's. Ledger's turn as the Joker will be remembered more for the intensity he brought to the character than for it being one of his final movies. Every time he came on the screen, the movie went into another gear. Caine and Freeman were excellent in their supporting roles and, for me, really were the little extra that put this movie over the top into legendary status. Eckhart, who I loved in Thank You For Smoking, was heroically delicious as the district attorney and what he became at the end.

The only disappointment was the fact that they didn't re-sign Katie Holmes for the character of Rachel Dawes. Ms. Gyllenhaal just didn't have the 'it' factor that Ms. Holmes brought to the previous installment. I probably should blame Tom Cruise or Sceintology though.

Overall, this movie hit on all cylinders. It transcends a superhero summer action flick and should be considered on its acting, writing, and drama. It even has time to delve into the human psyche without pontificating. I hope it is not ignored come Oscar time. I've never given a movie a 10, but this is as close as I've come. Go see this movie, you won't be disappointed.

The Love Guru (2008)

Funny and Entertaining

[7/10 · 21 June 2008]

I'm not quite sure why everyone is bashing this movie. Did you expect to see an in-depth character study of eastern mysticism or some soul-searching drama that reveals the truth of life? Were you hoping for plot twists and surprise endings? This is movie is exactly what I expected and hoped for. It is filled with juvenile, pubescent humor and had my wife, 10-year old son, and me laughing the whole way through.

The movie is standard Hollywood formula, but they do it to perfection. Mike Meyers was right smack in his comfort zone. Ben Kingsley and Justin Timberlake were fantastically raucous. And Jessica Alba was.... well Jessica Alba was incredibly HOT! I absolutely recommend this movie to anyone wanting a light-hearted, albeit corny trip to the movies. There was a lot of sexual innuendo, but if you are sheltering your children from what awaits them in the real world, you are destined to be a young grandparent.

The Burke's give this movie to thumbs up.

The Happening (2008)

Booooooooooooo

[1/10 · 17 June 2008]

Wow. That is all I can say. Immediately following the end of the movie, I gave a different one word reaction.

I loved 6th Sense. I loved Signs. Unbreakable and The Village were kind of cool with a certain amount of creep factor and some decent acting. But this stinker is possibly the worst piece of garbage to ever come out of a major studio.

Do you hear that? I think it sounds like the end of Marky Mark's career. I am a huge Mark Wahlberg fan, but he seemed to be stuck in some feminine, bad-acting mode that should have him in Days of Our Lives, not on the big screen.

The acting was terrible. The script was terrible. The character development was forced and contrived. The only scary part was a crazy old woman that they sort of just stuck in the film near the end as they probably realized just how boring of a movie they were making.

I mourn the death of Marky Mark's acting career. He coulda been a contenda.

And as for M. Night Shyamalan, his movies seem to be getting worse instead of better.

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Confused and Contrived

[1/10 · 20 April 2008]

I must have been expecting too much.

The first installment of Alien versus Predator was a pleasant surprise. They had successfully merged two of my favorite scary villains into a well thought out movie with conspiracy and suspense. The possibilities seemed endless for the sequel.

What a total and utter disappointing hack job Requiem turned out to be. The virtual lack of a story was compounded by huge gaping plot holes, wretched acting, banal writing and the whole thing was so dark, you could see what was going on.

They could have taken this story to so many different levels. In my opinion, there should have been more collaboration between humans and predators after the forced alliance in the first one. We should have been allowed to go on board the Predator's ship and see some of the cool advanced technology. Maybe they show us a film clip of their history and how the Earth has been a staging area for past battles. Maybe the Predators were behind the pyramids and they'd been coming here for millenniums. Maybe the Predators were somehow behind the Bermuda Triangle.

I don't know, but the thrown together hack job that I saw was a complete waste of time. I'm left with the sad realization that I will never regain those two hours.

Hot Rod (2007)

Landmark Achievement in American Cinema

[7/10 · 6 August 2007]

If you're looking for THE ground-breaking cinematic achievement this summer, look no further than this hidden gem. This movie is chalk full of cool beans! It is destined to have a long life as a cult-classic. Sissy Spacek plays an extremely strong woman with unending patience and the emotional strength of Hercules. Don't be surprised if she garners a lot of support come Oscar time.

Our hero is surrounded by a devoted team of friends that double as his stunt crew. In the spirit of Evel Knievel, each stunt is meticulously worked on until perfected. The characters are well developed and the writers and directors go to great lengths to demonstrate the difficulty in being raised by a step-father and winning his respect, especially when your younger, half-brother is of his blood line. The dramatic tension at times got so thick, I constricted into the fetal position and caught fleeting glimpses between my fingers covering my face.

When discussion of great directors comes up, the names like Scorcese, Coppola, and Spielberg are bandied about. Well, it is time add the name Akiva Shaffer to the pantheon of Hollywood Heavyweights. The plot twists keep you guessing, until an ending that I just didn't see coming.

Let me be the first to congratulate Andy Samberg for his ascension to SuperStardom. He is officially a MegaStar.

Honestly, this movie is Napolean dynamite on steroids. My eight-year-old son, my wife, and I loved it. And, I'm not as think as you dumb I am.

300 (2006)

Pleasant surprise

[8/10 · 2 August 2007]

Going into this movie, I had no idea what I was in store for. The Wal-Mart cashier said he went to the theater 5 times to see this, so I thought, "wow, this must be the greatest movie of all time." As the movie began, I squinted with doubt, unsure of where we were going. Infanticide, child abuse, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, leprosy, kiddie porn made me wonder what I'd gotten myself into. But it all started to make sense. I knew this had originally been a comic book and was loosely based on the Spartan battle of Thermopylae. I was mesmerized by the way many scenes contained images that could've been lifted right off the page of the comic book. The artistic talents of the team that made this movie are quite evident. The battle scenes, while graphic, are done beautifully. The creatures are hideously delicious. Xerxes is bigger than life. The queen portrays the strongest of women, but is still feminine and ultimately vulnerable. The whole movie is wonderfully NOT politically correct. I never saw Sin City, but I will be going out and buying a copy today. This movie is not for kids, but I recommend it to everyone else.