chaseanace Reviews

The Unborn (2009)

The unborn, not something to watch twice

[1/10 · 17 September 2011]

The Unborn. I finally gave in and rented "The Unborn" with a few friends. When it came out in theaters a few years ago I just didn't want to spend the money. It did not look that good. For once I was right. It's okay to see if you can get an inexpensive rental or free. I won't be buying it for my collection, needless to say. The beginning was fine but it just was way too derivative. There were too many times when I find myself thinking, I've seen that before and done better.

I was not even too into the story. The mysticism stuff seemed forced and unbelievable. It tries to seem smart but you just end up rolling your eyes. Odette Yustman has a nice body, I wish I had her curves!, but how many times can you see her in her underwear before you feel like that's all this movie has to offer?

Tales from the Crypt (1972)

Tales from the Crypt

[9/10 · 17 September 2011]

This little gem of five tales that are interwoven is exceptionally well crafted and well acted, especially by today's low standards in horror films. In particular, Patrick McGee is fantastic as an old blind man in a home for the blind, who leads a revolt against their new fascist-like caretaker and his dog.

Jackie Collins also pulls off a pretty good performance in the first segment, as a murderous wife who is stalked by a serial killer in a Santa clause outfit outside her house. The production value and colors for each skit are perfect. It's one of the rare productions where each part is strong and there are no real weak ones. All the episodes are laced with humor, yet still scary, and that's a hard feat to pull off!

Hit and Run (2009 Video)

An enjoyable enough shocker.

[7/10 · 17 September 2011]

In some ways routine and in some ways interesting, this splatter heavy horror flick at least doesn't skimp on thrills. It stars Laura Breckenridge as Mary, who during Spring Break has a little too much to drink. During her drive home she unknowingly strikes a man and he gets stuck on her bumper - which she doesn't realize until she gets home. Acting out of pain and rage, he lashes out at her and she whacks at him with a golf club hard enough to finish him off - or so she thinks.

While it does succumb to the genre cliché of having a "villain" who's hard to kill, it does work in terms of a story where things just keep spiraling out of control. Neither main character is completely sympathetic, which does help. And neither character is completely one-dimensional. Unfortunately, "Hit and Run" is one of those modern genre flicks that goes for the flamboyant visual a little too often, for example, camera angles and editing. This really wasn't necessary. Credit needs to go to the director, Enda McCallion, in one respect. This film never ever stops moving; the pacing is excellent. "Hit and Run" might be some things, but boring isn't one of them.

It's basically decent, gory and visceral entertainment. It's a dark film but is still rather compelling and never goes too far over the top. It even has the nerve not to have a standard, clichéd ending. The acting is acceptable in the main roles, with Kevin Corrigan - a guy you may have seen in films ranging from "GoodFellas" to "The Departed" to "Pineapple Express" - doing fine as the sullen, disturbed antagonist. Overall, it's perfectly watchable and maintains a good energy level for 84 minutes.

Angels & Demons (2009)

Demons must have rewrote the story

[4/10 · 9 April 2010]

ANGELS & DEMONS. Sounded good so I rented it. Stupid movie. It makes the idiotic non-historical Da Vinci Code look like a masterpiece. Tom Hanks was bad. Ewan McGregor was dull in his role. Stellan Skaarsgard was just passable.

The storyline was totally unbelievable from start to finish. I yelled at the screen during the scene when they run into the assassin. Yeah, like I'm really going to believe that the assassin would let Tom Hanks and Ayelet Zurer go scot free because they weren't carrying any weapons! What a crappy unbelievable scene! He would kill them because they are witnesses who could identify him as the killer. That's just a sample of how dumb this movie is.

At the end, after the big explosion and helicopter scene, I almost cried that I spent money on this garbage. The only positive I can think of is the guy who played the assassin, Nikolaj Lie Kaas, was good in his role.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Sherlock Blows

[4/10 · 8 April 2010]

SHERLOCK HOLMES. It's a bad movie. Soooooo boring. I saw every twist coming and that's totally inexcusable. The best thing about the movie is the performance of Lord Blackwood. He's played by Mark Strong, and that was okay. At least he was interesting because he was the villain. Robert Downey Jr irritated me with his over the top performance. Jude Law blah. They weren't a good team in my view. The directing was just okay. Ritchie is all over the place and makes you very impatient. That's because the movie goes along at a snail's pace. Maybe it's the editing? I don't know. The biggest problem for me was the story. It was just way too predictable. The best part was the production values, which is not saying much. 4/10

Alice in Wonderland (I) (2010)

One time viewing only

[4/10 · 8 April 2010]

ALICE IN WONDERLAND. What to say about this lame movie? First off, maybe I'm biased because I like a lot of Tim Burton's movies and had too high expectations for this. But this is just as bad if not worse than BIG FISH.

For the first time in a Tim Burton movie I found I was bored and waiting for this crap to end. The best part was when she falls in the room and gets bigger and smaller. After that, it was just one lame scene after another. Johnny Depp terrible. Helena Bonham Carter, the only redeeming thing the movie has. Crispin Glover was decent, but not great.

And being a woman under 25, I found the fake feminist teen message a bunch of bull. The best part was was the production value. To be avoided unless you absolutely love Tim Burton and need to see everything he does.

Trick 'r Treat (2007)

Trick r Treat a bit of a treat

[6/10 · 8 April 2010]

Let's see where to begin... The movie TRICK 'R TREAT is four interwoven tales of horror.

The Principal. Some dumb boy doesn't check his candy before eating it and pays the ultimate price when he comes tries to pocket all the candy from the house that belongs to his Principal. Not bad on gore. It had some unpredictable stuff.

Surprise Party. Laurie the virgin walks through the woods while her friends go to a party with dates. She encounters a vampire who attacks her, but the twist is she and her girlfriends are the real wolves. Better than the Principal because it was more surprising.

Bus Massacre. The legend of the bus massacre where the 8 kids were so mentally disturbed that their parents paid the bus driver to off them. Then 30 years later four kids return to pay respects to the dead. This episode sucked bad. It was boring and predictable, one of the worst of the whole movie.

Meet Sam. In this episode we discover who is the boy with the sack on his head when he confronts Kreeg, who we learn is the survivor from the bus accident. This is probably the dumbest episode of all. It was too confusing to understand. All in all, while the movie wasn't the worst Direct to vid that I saw, it was just a little cut above the average crap. 6 out of 10.