Kamurai25 Reviews

The Tomorrow War (2021)

"Will Have Had Been: The Movie"

[8/10 · 11 July 2021]

Great watch, will likely watch again, and do recommend.

It's usually a good sign when the worst part of a time travel movie is the time travel.

I could probably make an hour long video on the time travel in this movie, especially compared to "Looper", but I'll forego that enough to say that it's well leveraged for the purposes of the movie.

The "White Spikes" are amazingly well put together, though I think projectile spikes are an odd biological evolution.

The story is far from perfect, but the cast, the acting, the situation, and especially the action are all executed wonderfully with a high production value to back it up.

Fear Street: Part Two - 1978 (2021)

"Measure Twice, Cut a Thousand Times"

[8/10 · 11 July 2021]

Really good watch, would watch again, and can recommend.

If you are in a position to do so, then you could actually watch this movie before the "Fear Street Part One 1994".

I think a large part of this is that Sadie Sink is an amazing actress and while she doesn't carry the movie, she outshines everyone else with whom she shares a screen.

This isn't even an origin story, but sort of meets all the pacing of one in a pretty excellent fashion. Introducing Ziggy and the curse of the Sarah Fear all in one horrific go.

They do go a weirdly tasteful route where they previous showed high schoolers being killed, but do not show younger children being killed. I honestly didn't expect it given the amount of blood and wounds are shown, but not really gore come to think of it, at least not in this one.

Even as a stand alone movie, if you're into camp movies and like slashers, this is well worth the watch.

Useless Humans (2020)

"Out of This World Party"

[6/10 · 11 July 2021]

Decent watch at best, probably won't watch again, and can't recommend.

It starts as a bad "I wish we were still in college" movie, and barely leaves it as aspects of an alien invasion movie begins.

While they actually have an interesting concept to work with, an alien that feeds off of electricity, it looks like some alien costume they borrowed from a friend of a friend's cousin's uncle, but his dog just uses it as a hump toy. Then they put some poor guy inside it and too no time to make it a believable performance.

It's honestly pretty forgettable, which is disappointing because I actually recognized some of the actors as funny.

Give this a skip unless you are just really running low on things to watch.

Identity Thief (2013)

"A Man Name Sandy"

[6/10 · 11 July 2021]

Good watch, probably won't watch again, and can recommend.

This actually reminds me a lot of "Bounty Hunter", but with distinct elements of "Guest House" and "The Hustle".

It's honestly disturbing to me to see the anatomy of a sociopath laid out in a movie like this, but it does thoroughly example both what it is like to have your identity stolen and the kind of monsters that do that sort of thing.

Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy are both top notch comedic actors, but some of the scenes were a little hammy, even for them.

A lot of the movie sort of feels like a VERY long SNL sketch where people are going, "Wouldn't this be funny?" and someone always went, "Yeah, put that in, why not?".

It's not that it's not good, but it could have been great.

Infinite (2021)

"The Lambchop Story"

[6/10 · 11 July 2021]

Pretty good watch, could watch again, and can recommend.

I feel like I had a lot of problems with this movie. The concept is good, but not very cinematic, so it feels like they tried to add action to "Ad Astra". With Mark Wahlberg as the main protagonist, a lot of the movie, as I could think was "Somwon stohl mah teddy bwear" so that ruined the vibe a little.

A large part of it is that the story takes place over centuries if not millenia, so clearly that's not part of the movie, so we miss out on caring about who these immortals are as characters. You're sort of just told to care about them.

For at least part of the movie I identified with the villains more because their plan is actually laid out with some level of clarity and a surprising amount of reason: kill everyone and there is nowhere to resurrect.

Sort of a fun interpretation of "When your enemy goes to ground, leave no ground to go to.".

Ultimately this is a high end cast, with plenty of money behind the production, so it looks good, and has an interesting concept, but just sort of falls flat on the execution. I just never really cared about the characters.

Good on Paper (2021)

"Rock Beats Paper"

[6/10 · 11 July 2021]

Good watch, could watch again, and can recommend.

This is one was a little spoiled for me as I heard a podcast discussion on the real story, and then the slightly refined comedy routine on it.

Seeing those things come to life as a movie, I kind of knew the whole plot, which is just how it is with real life stories.

While I'm super happy Iliza got to have her story told, there was an opportunity to turn this into something spectacularly absurd.

("Tusk" was also based off a real story, from a discussion on a podcast but I'm still waiting on "Moose Jaws" (It's "Jaws", but with a moose.), so who knows.)

I think this is a great "chick flick", a great "woman empowerment" movie, and good venture into....not sure what to call it, an "anti-romantic comedy"?

I'm honestly hoping we get more movies with this sort of structure.

Roxanne (1987)

"Cirano De Booger-rac"

[8/10 · 11 July 2021]

Great watch, will likely watch again, and do recommend.

If you're going to get back in the way back machine, then Steve Martin is a reliably choice, and a story modeled off of Shakespeare is typically a pretty good choice too. A little Cirano goes a lot way.

Yes, as a Cirano story, it's predictable, but it's certainly about the journey, not the destination. Martin certainly delivers an experience, and the way they decided to twist it is definitely unique if not inspired.

I'd say this is begging for a reboot, but it's not exactly an original story, and I can't imagine what newer technology would add to it.

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

"Soft Open to the Slasher Series"

[8/10 · 11 July 2021]

Really good watch, would watch again, and can recommend.

While this was casted really well and the actors all did a great job, what makes this movie for me is the structure. It doesn't really do anything special, but for that sacrifice they do 3-4 parallel arcs.

For slasher fans, there is a lot of fun here, and the bodies hit the floor all over in a spectacular fashion.

Really trying not to spoil anything, I can only point to a handful of features where there are multiple survival situations in play at once. Its a special kind of intensity that obscures what's going to happen next.

While there is a telegraph of a sequel / series in the title, they do an excellent job of wrapping up the story to move forward to the next feature.

The Abyss (1989)

"Kick the Under Water Can"

[7/10 · 11 July 2021]

Really good watch, would watch again, and can recommend.

This movie has some amazingly good special effects for 1989. I think it is helpful that most of it occurred in the water giving a good background to absorb any of the problems.

The setting is a personal favorite of mine, underwater seabase, so maybe I'm a little biased in that regard, but the story is solid writing and it's a pretty good cast.

There is some weird flubbing when people get panicked or crazy, but I really can't say any of it was actual bad acting.

Doom (2005)

"Doom, Da-Doom Doom Doom"

[8/10 · 10 July 2021]

Really good watch, will probably watch again, and can recommend.

Look, it's a movie based on a video game about shooting demons from hell. It is far from perfect, it's probably a horrible Doom movie, but apart from that, this is a lot of fun.

It follows most of the zombie rules for infection, but the learning curve is one of the things that keeps the movie interesting as it drip feeds information as the infection gets out of control.

As great as the cast is with this one, it seems pretty clear from the beginning that the big billers, Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban, are going to go head to head, whether it be against or back to back against monsters.

The monsters are done with great practical effects, they're creepy looking, and competitive with the available technology. They're even used in creative ways.

When it comes down to it, the movie is fun, and a reliably good watch.

Good Luck Chuck (2007)

"The Way To Love"

[8/10 · 10 July 2021]

Great watch, will likely watch again, and do recommend.

It's got a lot of sexual based humor, but if you're okay with that, then you're going to have a great time with this one.

It's supposed to be Dane Cook's juvenile adventure through love, sex, and....dentistry(?), arguably calamity, but Jessica Alba is really the one that makes this shine.

Not only is she a lovely looking lady, but she's an awesome actor and nails the clumsy girl role down to every micro expression.

Like everything thing, this movie has its low points, mostly with the best friend character, but it's the idiot's mirror. You let a character say everything wrong.

I've seen this movie several times and expect to watch it several more times.

The House Bunny (2008)

"Snow White and the 7 Bunnies"

[7/10 · 10 July 2021]

Really good watch, would watch again, and can recommend.

A modern re-telling of "Snow White" and sort of a response to "Sydney White", a story of a psuedo-princess cast out and taken in by 7 societal misfits.

It's a fun twist that's she's this vapid playboy bunny that comes in and indoctrinates the other girls into being like her.

It's a fun movie, not the best movie, but consistently good and a well done downtrodden versus the authority trope.

Sydney White (2007)

"Snow White and the 7 Dorks"

[7/10 · 10 July 2021]

Really good watch, would watch again, and can recommend.

A modern day re-telling of Snow White. Not an easy task to get a modern ensemble cast to be significant, but they do a good job for the characters being mostly socially awkward societal rejects.

Amanda Bynes pretty much carries the movie, but that's to be expected from a Snow White.

The fun twist is they went with a "vs the rich" trope against greek row instead of her being princess-like.

The movie is a lot of fun, and Amanda Bynes does a great job of competitive girl on the social battlefield as does Sarah Paxton.

Mimic (1997)

"Judas Was a Roach"

[8/10 · 10 July 2021]

Really good watch, will watch again, and do recommend.

This is "the movie with bugs that look like people", there aren't a lot of unique ideas out there, so I like celebrating the ones I can point too.

While the cast and acting was really good, what makes this is the concept, the atmospheric tension and the practical efforts for the monsters.

This is about as close as you can get to being thrown into a termite hive without Rick Moranis or Hank Pym shrinking fools down.

Sometimes it is fun to see a pre-apocalyptic story instead of one where the world is already ruined by calamity.

Senseless (1998)

"Senselessly Funny"

[6/10 · 10 July 2021]

Good watch, could watch again, and can recommend.

This is a top notch cast, in 1998 and in 2021. There is quality execution and a good concept.

I feel it's a little unrelatable as it feels like an ivy league problem, but the core of rich vs middle class is still there.

I actually miss movies like this. Even if it is only a good movie, and not a great movie, it will always been good because the basic principles are there.

Critters (1986)

"Deadly Porcupines"

[7/10 · 10 July 2021]

Good watch, could watch again and do recommend.

This is a good one to jump into the way back machine for, and I'm waiting on a reboot to happen. (Actually...."The Tomorrow War" is sort of on the same track)

The critters themselves are (in a horrible way) cute and vicious looking, the acting is decent, the story is good, and I'm a big fan of the shape shifting hunters sent to kill them.

When it comes down to it, the movie is a lot of fun and worth giving a watch.

The Campaign (2012)

"Dumb v Stupid"

[2/10 · 10 July 2021]

Boring watch, won't watch again, and do not recommend.

After watching "Irrestitable", I should have known better than to give this a try, but I was hoping the stars being the actual candidates would make it better, but it's still about nonsense politics and social manipulation.

If you like the actors, then you might get a bit out of it, but you could also just watch other good things they're in.

Politics isn't fun for me, and there are a few absurd jokes that land, but for the most part it is a lot of work to setup jokes that just do not land.

Zoombies (2016)

"Not Even a Dead Monkey is a Good Monkey"

[2/10 · 10 July 2021]

Horrible watch, probably won't watch again, and can't recommend.

It's actually a pretty great concept, a disease starts in an animal re-animating it, jumping across species as infection sets in.

There are missed opportunities in this, but the two biggest problems are some subpar acting, and horrible CG, which may account for some of the bad acting, depending upon how they shot the live action shots.

When it comes down to it, the animal zombies are like really bad versions of the lickers from "Resident Evil", it's not that there isn't anything worth watching in this, but there just really isn't enough.

Alien Addiction (2018)

"The Finest Smoked Excrement"

[2/10 · 10 July 2021]

Horrible watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

This is what I like to call a bar bet movie: someone bets someone else that they can make a movie about a ridiculous concept and then actually tries to win the bet.

Not that I'm a big fan of poop humor or drug humor in general, but this movie is kind of hard to watch at points.

Ignoring that I would probably be easy enough to get "gifts" for the aliens, the weird sociological terror they get into to not get the "gifts" is absurd, which looks to be the intended humor, but it doesn't land for me, at all, for the entire movie.

Quite possible I'm just not the target audience for this.

Nine Lives (2002 Video)

"Nine Lives Too Many"

[3/10 · 10 July 2021]

Boring watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

Despite a minor "ghost effect", there's very little that makes this more than a bunch of people going into hysterics and stabbing each other, or refusing to stab each other, or going on about refusing to stab each other before stabbing one another.

I wanted to like this, but there just isn't much to like here. The characters aren't very enjoyable, with a couple exceptions, so I'm happier to see them die than survive.

When it eventually gets to the final survival group, the resolution is like a slap in the face for making it that far in the movie.

Blades of Glory (2007)

"Love and Competition"

[4/10 · 10 July 2021]

Frustrating watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

This might be one of the stupidest movie concepts I've ever watched. Not to mention its routed slightly in homophobia which seems like they're doubling down on a problem that men's figure skating is already dealing with.

I'm not into skating, but I can't imagine anyone who is into skating is going to be excited or enjoy the jokes at their expense, so I'm a little lost at who the audience is for this unless it's "people that hate figure skating" and I don't see them watching a figure skating movie.

A lot of the jokes just fall flat, and it's not like they don't know who to structure jokes throughout the story: the villains actually have a well constructed arc, just not a great quality to it.

The characters are mostly unlikable and chaotic, the movie is literally telling them to stop it for half the movie, and by the time it stops I don't care what the characters do until the end.

The best bit was the romantic story arc which was heavily polluted by the rest of the story.

Resident Evil (2002)

"Down the Rabbit Hole"

[8/10 · 1 July 2021]

Great watch, will likely watch again, and do recommend.

I understand that zombies have been done to death by the time I wrote this, but I've always enjoyed them, and I understand that, as a movie franchise, "Resident Evil" is fairly laughed at, but the first movie was somewhat promising, even if it didn't REALLY have anything to do with the video game.

If nothing else, Milla Jojovich and Michelle Rodriguez are quality actors and carry the movie very well, though I honestly think the cast does well.

I'm all for unique movies, and, at the time, this felt like one. It is well remembered for a particular death scene.

If you like zombies, then you should like this one. It just has this evil corporation trope looming in the background.

It does a great job of slowly escalating the situation, if in a slightly absurd way.

Boot Camp (2008)

"Camp Beat Me More"

[6/10 · 1 July 2021]

Decent watch, probably won't watch again, but can recommend.

Since it's basically a child prison camp outside the per view of the United States, there are lots of angles to this one.

There are coming of age stories, there is the prisoner aspect of it: guilt, guards vs prisoners, prisoners vs prisoners, and just general psychology of traumatized people.

I know that makes it sound REAL interesting /s, but if you like movies you can think out, especially for the characters, then this is a real good watch.

For everyone else, it's still good, but it's a unique prison movie, so it comes with all that entails: abusive guards, warden with a god complex, and infighting like cuttlefish.

Sphere (1998)

"Underwater Geometry"

[8/10 · 30 June 2021]

Great watch, would watch again, and do recommend.

I feel like I have a thing for the isolationism of deep sea bases. "Bioshock", "Deep Blue Sea", "The Meg", "Underwater", "The Abyss": just the idea of being far away from any help in the most dangerous living conditions possible on the planet.

Add in a mysteriously time traveling alien sphere and let bake in the survival situation where people are losing their minds and things keep manifesting into existence.

It's a little insane, but it has a quality cast, plot, and some great action for all the characters being a bunch of nerds.

Buddy Games (2019)

"King Over the Hill"

[3/10 · 30 June 2021]

Boring watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

If you thought the responsible family aspect of "Grown Ups" was a bit much, then this is a much more juvenile version with guys of the same age and lower quality, in general.

The highlight memorable moments are putting balls on someone's face, selling all their belongings, and this summer camp game on steroids where they do stupid things just to see who will actually do it. Basically Jackass, but...less?

Olivia Munn is by far the best thing in this movie, not because she's pretty but because she literally has the best part, separated from the boys. Honestly, she is way above this movie.

I honestly wouldn't waste your time: "American Pie: Beta House" is easily way better than this.