johnrgreen Reviews

Big Jake (1971)

7.1!!!!!

[2/10 · 19 October 2021]

I'm pretty dumbfounded at the average score here. Another moronic Western and identical revenge plot for the lamest cowboy of them all. With added motor cars in a weird comedy aspect which are taken out by a single baddy bullet. I thought cowboys had died out by 1909 but no here they are shooting up the whole town murdering willy- nilly. Cowboys this stoopid didn't last as long as some here. Yes the baddies are archetypically unshaven and plain evil. Big John Payne as usual impervious to pain ,is no match for them and arrives as if by magic to save everyone even though he's been away from his family for years. There follows minimal exposition and 3 sons not surprisingly miffed at this idiot and his absence from their lives. A shocker.

The Blue Dahlia (1946)

A movie that didn't flower.

[5/10 · 13 July 2021]

I watched this film thinking it would be a classic,after all it was written by Raymond Chandler and starred the flawless beauty and charm of Veronica Lake. Thereafter,I was rather unimpressed by Alan Ladd's wooden acting and a hotch potch of coincidences and strange over - acting ,mostly from Bendix. It was stagey and slow and the cast spent most of its time drinking and smoking. I've never seen so much drinking! People fell into fights easily and the police routinely insulted everyone. But Lake was really charismatic and stole most scenes. A dud.

Saloon Bar (1940)

Like the bar at Carnforth St.

[3/10 · 16 February 2021]

Like the cast of the station bar in Brief Encounter doing a comeback tour.Makes you wonder if David Lean saw it and was inspired!.Full of stereotype English stiffs in bowlers speaking in clipped accents, so beautifully lampooned by the BBC's Fast Show. Personally it's not looking too good for Small who funnily enough plays the cuckold in Brief Encounter.(if they had got round to removing their briefs).poor fare indeed and full of petty class ridden snobbery.Not funny or tense.

My Man Godfrey (1936)

Interesting but stagey.

[7/10 · 4 February 2021]

The city dump is home to the victims of the great crash.One of these, Godfrey ,encounters a group of dim socialites who persuade him to be part of their silly game.He is in fact one himself which is why he charms his way into their circle.As their butler he is the only sane ,sober person in a madhouse.There are two daughters .One falls in love with him.The other takes against him.Eventually she outs him for the Boston socialiate he is and tries to get revenge on him but fails.He saves them from themselves and saves even the down and outs before allowing Carole Lombard's character to railroad him into marriage.Perplexingly,he accepts after avoiding her for most of the film.Powell is very good as Godfrey but the great stage-set noise of the family household begins to grate.Nevertheless an interesting and at times funny early Hollywood comedy.

The 39 Steps (1959)

Buchan, terrible.

[3/10 · 13 January 2021]

More is a quintessential post war bluff young cove.A tweedy,public school type giving the only performance in his armoury,himself.All the drama is sucked out of this piece.The romantic episode relies on a massive coincidence .That he happens to stumble( as usual )into a lecture with the same girls school he encountered on the train,begins to detract from the credibility of the plot.Scotland is only a wee place,right? Great Joan Hickson appearance and for boys of a certain age, lush old Susan Stranks.Elsewhere a bizarre Brenda De Banzie, fruity old bird, with a camp companion, gives him some terrible sandwiches and a bike and the cast of Dr Findlay minus Janet and various other minor roles and the scenery are the only bright spots in this poor remake.

The Green Man (1956)

Funny script.plot rather thin.

[8/10 · 5 January 2021]

As the standards of comedies have plummeted we can only look upon this film with envy that there was a time we the British produced films and actors that could farce with the best of them.This should be shown to Richard Curtis and others as proof that instead of swear words and fatuous romcoms you can actually write funny lines and make good films.Not that Curtis is remotely funny.As we know when we watch the first Blackadder. Alistair Sim is immense here.Some great playing by Terry Thomas and Clive who gives us the films best line about the news.Raymond Huntley as the intended victim who happens to be seducing his secretary with chopped toad, gives a withering critique of British food in the 50s.Take my word for it chopped toad is delicious if done well. So,maybe not the best comedy ever but a most enjoyable ,witty, fast and furious farce and the best film about Turnham Green I've ever seen!

A Very British Christmas (2019 TV Movie)

Tyke a hike,sweetheart!

[1/10 · 5 December 2020]

This conforms to the formula of high flying city types falling for humble hometown folk.The usua! formula where a lawyer in Chicago goes home to her childhood town to meet her humble parents knee deep in Xmas kitsch and falls for hunk ex boyfriend and realises sob! her heart is here. They are virtually all like that.This one differs in that it is an American,played by a Brit,getting lost in Yorkshire and ending up on a heritage railway line steaming to Knares-bow-row as you say it there.Meets chunky Brit and well you can guess the rest .he has a cute little daughter who says 'sweetheart'.....She's 7.....yeah.It's so dishonest and aimed at the bloody year ducts that you hate yourself for watching it.An insult to our intelligence.Schlock!! Spoiler alert?! We all know what's going to happen! Happen .As they do say oop North.

High Society (1956)

All this and Louis Armstrong,too.

[10/10 · 29 November 2020]

I can't explain exactly what it is, that is so enjoyable about this film but just look at the cast and add the music and what else there to say.oh yeah. just about the best 2 hours on film there's ever been.Perhaps the best remake of all time.Such charm .It radiates from the screen.Every time I see it I forget just how brilliant the songs are.A marvel.

Brief Encounter (1945)

I don't know to what you are referring,Burial!

[7/10 · 26 November 2020]

If you want to know what arch means then Noel Coward gives lines to the faux posh tea lady that redefine it.Actually she's a scene stealer that actress and genuinely hilarious in the several scenes with winking veteran Stanley Holloway.Seek out Harry Enfield ,spoofing her and I suspect the barmaid from Brighton Rock.Genius. It's a great film of forbidden love with lovely music and enough steam trains to give the average trainspotter sleepless nights.For the English watching it is just a little too fratefully middle class to be comfortable viewing I suspect, so what everybody else must think I can only imagine.Aim shaw! The fact that she goes back to fat Fred after not so much as a knee-trembler is hilarious too.I think,despite what people are saying here,if they had just done the deed then things would have calmed down but it wouldn't have been the same buttoned up classic.

Melody (1971)

A melody which needs re-tuning.

[4/10 · 28 January 2020]

I'll admit this film is not for someone my age group but with that in mind I can only review it as an adult.Most reviews are from people who saw it in their youth.I didn't like this film but criticising it feels like killing Bambi. Irritating lovesick pretty boy has giant crush on unremarkable girl at school.interspersed with icky songs from The Bee gees .Some support from older actors like Roy Kinnear playing up London stereotypes .This should have gripped but didnt,probably due to its rather wet nature of the leads.I can only compare it to Swallows and Amazon which had at least something of a plot and action to hide the child actors' shortcomings.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)

oooh la la land influence.

[5/10 · 12 January 2020]

I admit I didn't know it was a modern opera and that my heart sank at first but I got used to the sung dialogue. Thereagain you can't get away from the gossamer light nature of the production.The music is held together by the oft repeated central theme ,achingly familiar I have to say,which then fed into ever diminishing melodies.We got it that 16 year old Deneuve was in love with the handsome mechanic after the 20th je t'aime and that Maman would have to give in to the inevitable but the heavy hand of fate in the form of National Service intervened and while our hero is off fighting in Algeria she only goes and marries the diamond dealer and after all the protestations of love! Not a masterpiece and thankfully not overlong.

The Sound of Music (1965)

Schmaltz with added cheese

[4/10 · 2 January 2020]

From '16 going on 17' being straight out of The Producers(,Mel Brooks must be been watching),to the 'whiskers on kittens' dross, this is feelgood writ large. By the end I was crying out for those poor little aristos to be captured and the goodness to be tortured out of them.In between ,stern Capt fell in love with the patron saint of wholesomeness over the sexy Baroness ,a most unlikely outcome although we should have guessed.I mean,his righteous position on impending Nazism for instance.The triumph of good over evil.With added tunes.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

I put a spell on you......

[6/10 · 31 October 2019]

I like the films and if I have one criticism, there's rather too much plot standby like' it's Thingummy all along' as one character morphs into someone else so you have to recalibrate all you've seen to factor in .....Who am I kidding?! Never having read the books apart from a chapter to my nephew years ago at bedtime and scared him,so he said,I dont have prior knowledge and well it's witchcraft innit so all reality is binned and anything can happen despite at its core,a kind of restrained version of St Trinians,with most of its characters middle class and despite an enormous suspension of disbelief, respectful old buffers who just happen to be carrying wands.Add to that some impressive baddies and the sweet friendship between the front three and you have a hit.All done without Judy Dench, Wizard!

Discovering Film (2014– )

So called experts giving out scripted obscure facts

[2/10 · 8 October 2019]

Although generally speaking this is an interesting series about the actors in question it is the barrage of so called experts who can't possibly know the biographical stuff,that spoil it.In particular the Eli Wallach episode has Bonny Greer ,better known as an author and political pundit who appears to know all about Wallach.Who could've guessed? .She's not alone.Various individuals some about 20 years old,seem to know stuff too.Amazing! It's almost as if they'd been fed the stuff. This habit is not confined to this series.If you ever watch rock star biogs on BBC4, it is amazing how much these people know who weren't born until after the subjects career had finished. Could it possibly be a way to get the yoof to watch?

La La Land (2016)

Charming but slight.

[7/10 · 7 October 2019]

Starting with a bargain basement Busby Berkeley traffic-jam dance routine and ending with two alternative finishes.A what if and a what really. The weaknesses are the songs and the singers ,which is a fair part of the film.Its strengths such as they are is the chemistry of the leading pair and for a while the plot trajectory. It putters out over two competing ambitions.His purist jazz obsession,predictably,at odds with her acting and writing.Wouldn't you know it but simultaneous achieving of both signals the end and a five year leap into the future and another coincidental path crossing where our heroine imagines life with him if she had stayed.Big mistake! She'll be back!

Sanditon (2019–2023)

Tons of sand.

[3/10 · 6 October 2019]

The pretty girl at the heart of this has just uttered "your secret's safe with me" to add to the anachronisms already committed such as last week's sex scene .Where Austen would have subtly alluded to a connection our Andrew Davies goes in feet first with Georgian porn shot from the chandelier. I'm afraid Kris Marshall is a bit lightweight for this.Anne Reid can't carry it either ,her character a ludicrous attempt to echo imperious Lady whotsit from P and P. Don't get me started about the afro Caribbean heiress which apparently was in Austen's original and chimes in with modern inclusiveness but is a really tedious side plot to add to the others such as a cricket match(!) and a regatta. 8 episodes is about 5 more than necessary.ITV product.say no more.

The Limey (1999)

Geezer does his nut in L.A.,goes back to his drum.

[6/10 · 20 September 2019]

For the reviewers who found Stamp's cockney unconvincing I should like to point out he is the son of a Thames lighterman and you don't get more bleeding cockney than that,my old son! Alright?! I really enjoyed it when he started with the old Mattison Lang.who wrote it? I must have a butchers' I was dragged along by the pursuit and the depiction of low life in California.The stupefaction on the faces of unsuspecting septics listening to Wilson give tongue was funny. The bits that were less successful was for example the girlfriend who was always in the bath.It had a strange airlessness about it but that's California for you I suppose.A few holes in the plot like how did he get away without having the entire California police force on his trail !?.Minor cavils but an enjoyable film if you like this sort of thing.

Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978)

Not a Clues-oh!

[3/10 · 29 July 2019]

Having seen an earlier Clouseau film and having been surprised at how funny it was I thought that this might be worth a look but I'm afraid it was incoherent and boring.At one point someone says "what the hell is going on here" and I know what they meant.Poorly acted with a meandering plot and mumbled dialogue, the central joke of Clouseau's incompetence misfiring scene after scene with bad sight gags and predictably tiresome set pieces. Wouldn't you know it would end with a shoot out in a firework factory..Even the great Sellers must take some blame for this damp squib.

Detective Montalbano: Un diario del '43 (2019) Season 13, Episode 2

Entertaining if slow.

[7/10 · 16 July 2019]

You know what you are going to get with Montelbano.red herrings or possible red herrings.coincidences.Like the American.or some distinguished gent who walks past his beautifully appointed home by the sea.of course Monte having respectful manners befriends them.they may play a handy part in the plot or add intellectual heft by quoting Montaigne or such like. Catarella,a buffoon or Malaprop.wearing tropes like the door entry and saying" personally .in person "when he has a visitor. Mimi,another buffoon.the joke is that he has bedded half the women around but is an incompetent cop whose theories are always wrong. Fazio is M s dependable side kick and like Radar O'Reilly anticipates plot developments.He always keeps vital information on pieces of paper.this annoys M. Then there's the girlfriend Livia who visits him from the North and who always gets abandoned the minute there's a sniff of a new case.M hides a Swedish would be mistress from her.M is irresistible to the femme fatales who emerge improbably from sleepy towns wearing red lippy and showing plenty of decolletage. He has a relationship with the local tv station and it's maverick owner.if there's a need he will be interviewed by him. There's an ogre of a man who performs medical examinations but is reluctant to give him any information.Also a glutton. M himself likes to eat alone and is a good snob.His housekeeper cooks amazing food apparently but Livia doesnt. He cracks the cases between mealtimes and by brilliant deductions it is full of echoing Italian interiors like his office where he grills various minor characters. It has great titles music and yes is entertaining but is quite long.

Jellyfish (2018)

Mirthless stand-up.

[3/10 · 3 June 2019]

Some earnest reviews so far.i didn't enjoy this as much. the pros in the cast had the effect of unbalancing the film.The teacher particularly hamming it up.This jars .The mother, a heavily under-wrought role,Was she a drunk,a drug addict or mentally ill? whatever it was I must have missed the reference. The episode with the parent in the disco a pasted on unlikely event and the father bizarrely played.So,no not a great film and the girl playing the lead got angry and just swore a lot and humiliated her enemies at school and was by no means a Lennie Bruce in the making.An'issue' film for our times all very worthy but missing the mark if it was trying to achieve a Ken Loach style.

Georgy Girl (1966)

Rich man you've got yourself a baby.

[6/10 · 25 May 2019]

An example of the realistic British cinema of the 60s but with quirky comic overtones, it can't escape its novelistic origins.Bates' character is annoyingly goofy, Rampling's a selfish party animal.Somehow it didn't quite make a satisfying transfer to film.The plain girl sort of wins in the end but maybe she wanted the baby more than the rich husband.

Escape to Athena (1979)

No escape from mediocrity.

[19 May 2019]

Mutton headed action movie full of ridiculous fights with obligingly useless Germans.Only Stephanie thingy has made any effort at period accuracy with her hair like Marge Simpson, the rest only exist in1979.Gould replays the Marlowe character with no success I'm afraid, his pursuit on a motorbike down narrow village alleys a beauty of improbability.Sonny Bono, get your haircut!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

out of this world.

[9/10 · 2 April 2019]

I remember stumbling out of the North Cheam Granada in 68/9, my 14 year old mind working overtime trying to comprehend what I had just seen,I didn't feel so emotional about a film apart from Apocalypse Now and everything I saw as a child.Now look, not everybody likes this film and I can't comment about the philosophical meanings.I think I read the novel or novella but to no avail.Last night I saw it again and it didn't seem too long,boring or pretentious.The 2 hours plus flew by.The music and the imagery were just incredible.The drama between the recalcitrant HAL and ''D a y y v e'' beautifully done.The best Leonard Rossiter vehicle I've ever seen.

The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)

rinky dink

[8/10 · 9 February 2019]

A really funny film.The premise of Lom's character's world domination psychosis must have influenced Mike Myers' Austin Powers in some scenes.Anyway apart from Seller's accent probably offending half of France,he was very funny and how many films have been shot in Oktoberfest?....Well this is probably the best...

Jason Bourne (I) (2016)

how many cars died!?

[6/10 · 4 February 2019]

We've been here before.Bourne on the run.Implacable 'asset' in hot pursuit who kills anything that gets in the way.CIA bigwig cool but corrupt.Cooler gamine sidekick possibly English who looks very doubtful of her bosses decisions but obeys all the same.Whole cities destroyed in one car pursuit.Hand to hand fight between Bourne and asset.Unbelievable ability of all concerned to track each other down via modern technology.Result a confused ,barely credible attempt to recapture the genuine novelty of the original and unable to do so.One film too far.