Photos
Quotes
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[Castle sees Esposito is using a cane]
Richard Castle : Wh- What happened to you?
Javier Esposito : Injured in the line of duty.
Richard Castle : Really? How?
Kevin Ryan : I... accidentally shot him in the gluteus maximus.
Richard Castle : In the ass?
[laughs]
Richard Castle : Or maybe I should give this to you. I'm sorry. This is so not funny.
Mia Laszlo : [laughing] You're right. It's hilarious.
Richard Castle : [roaring with laughter] It's hilarious. Come on, Mia, let's make way for, uh, Crackshot Ryan and Assposito.
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Mia Laszlo : I'm not going.
Richard Castle : Yes, you are.
Mia Laszlo : Why? Because you think I can help you get your wife back?
Richard Castle : No. Well, yes... But because a man was murdered this morning. And that man deserves justice. You know, you see your hyperosmia as... a curse. When, really, you've been given a great gift. And with your help, the police can put away a cold-blooded killer. Now, isn't that worth putting yourself out there?
Mia Laszlo : No. And there's nothing you can do to make me leave my apartment.
Richard Castle : Nothing?
Mia Laszlo : Nothing.
[pause; Castle fidgets, and after a moment, Mia gags as she smells his fart]
Mia Laszlo : Oh, my God.
Richard Castle : I'm sorry.
Mia Laszlo : Eww!
Richard Castle : Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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Kate Beckett : I'm Captain Beckett. Thank you so much for coming in, Ms. Laszlo.
Mia Laszlo : Let's just get this over with.
Kate Beckett : Uh, so, what do you remember about the murder this morning?
Mia Laszlo : Not much. I heard two gunshots. And then a guy with a ski mask got on the elevator with me. I thought he was gonna kill me...
Kate Beckett : Mm-hmm.
Mia Laszlo : ...but he didn't. Instead, he got off at the ground level. I called 911 and left. Can I go home now?
Kate Beckett : Uh, no.
Mia Laszlo : Why not?
Kate Beckett : Because I'm not done asking you questions just...
[notices her recoil]
Kate Beckett : ... yet.
Mia Laszlo : Do you always eat kale for breakfast? 'Cause that's just wrong.
Kate Beckett : How do... do you know that I had kale this morning?
Mia Laszlo : You reek of it... Like, this room stinks of grade-D Greek food.
Kate Beckett : You're very sensitive to smell.
Mia Laszlo : Oh, you should change your name to Captain Obvious. It's called hyperosmia. Look it up.
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Mia Laszlo : Martha Rodgers?
Martha Rodgers : Yes? I'm sorry, have we met?
Mia Laszlo : Uh... May 19th, 1999. I saw you perform in "Pippin".
Martha Rodgers : [gasps] Oh, my God. You remember that? Oh, yeah. Off-Off-Broadway...
Richard Castle : Uh, Mother, that was New Jersey.
Martha Rodgers : Off-Off-Broadway, as I said. Well, isn't this nice. So you liked the production?
Mia Laszlo : No. Hated it.
Martha Rodgers : Oh.
Mia Laszlo : Plus the theater smelled like Limburger gravy on a hot summer's day. But you... You were amazing.
Richard Castle : Really? So, all day with a best-selling author, nothing. Twenty seconds with my mother, you're a tweener at a Taylor Swift concert?
Martha Rodgers : Don't be a hater, Richard. It's the power of theater.
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Mia Laszlo : Beckett still loves you... with a passion. And you don't have to measure pheromones to sense that... I've spent my career manufacturing the aromas of love for perfumes and colognes... But they're all just forgeries, like that painting... What you and Beckett have... Now that's the genuine article.
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Richard Castle : All right, we have a new mission. To find where our suspect might sell a high-end Rolls Royce.
Mia Laszlo : I can't help you with that.
Richard Castle : But you can ID him once we get there.
Mia Laszlo : [sighs] Why are you doing this to me?
Richard Castle : Because you helped me out. And now I'm returning the favor.
Mia Laszlo : By torturing me?
Richard Castle : No. Mia, you're- you're not living. You're hiding. I know you find the world a little overwhelming, but out here, this is where life happens. So... let's go.
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Kate Beckett : Which means the real killer is still out there with the real painting.
Richard Castle : Oh, I love it when there's a twist!
Mia Laszlo : And I love it when my *belly's* full.
Richard Castle : I- I'm getting takeout right now.
Mia Laszlo : Restaurant food? Hell, no. Home cooking *only*. Everything has to be steamed, with zero, and, I mean, zero seasoning. If I even smell or see a speck of salt, somebody is gonna get hurt. You're my ride, Castle, let's go.
Kate Beckett : Bon appétit, babe.
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Kate Beckett : Okay. So what did our killer smell like?
Mia Laszlo : Gosh. I don't know. It was either puppies... or gunpowder.
Kate Beckett : Are you always this unpleasant?
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Richard Castle : So, Beckett and I have been married almost a year. And- And things were going great. And then suddenly she says she needs space.
Mia Laszlo : Why is that my problem?
Richard Castle : Oh, it's not. But I- I was just thinking, you're so attuned to pheromone output, you could help me with my interactions with Beckett. Let me know when I'm being charming. Let me know when I'm annoying her.
Mia Laszlo : You mean like this? Hey, Castle, you're being annoying.
Richard Castle : Yes. Only I'm thinking more like a secret hand gesture so she doesn't...
[Mia gives him a look]
Richard Castle : You mean right now.
Mia Laszlo : Yeah.
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[Castle is on the phone with Beckett and Hayley]
Richard Castle : Now, is that any way to talk to the man who can ID your killer?
Hayley Shipton : Wait, you can ID him?
Richard Castle : Well, no. But Mia can.
Mia Laszlo : No, I can't.
Hayley Shipton : Who's Mia?
Richard Castle : She's an eyewitness. Well, technically, she's a... nose-witness.
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Hayley Shipton : Okay, then tell us something unique about the killer's scent.
Kate Beckett : Yeah.
Mia Laszlo : There was a hint of nail polish remover.
Kate Beckett : A six-foot-tall guy who smells like nail polish remover? This is a waste of time.
Richard Castle : Hang on.
[to Mia]
Richard Castle : Tell her the thing.
Mia Laszlo : Okay, how about this? There was an old oil painting in that briefcase.
Richard Castle : Boom.
Kate Beckett : How do you know that?
Mia Laszlo : Are you slow? I smelled it.
[to Castle]
Mia Laszlo : Are you sure you want her back? 'Cause I think you can do better.
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Richard Castle : Ah. You work from home?
Mia Laszlo : I consult for a perfume company as a professional nose, specializing in primal attraction.
Richard Castle : And yet you live alone and never have visitors.
Mia Laszlo : I see people. I go into the office once a week. It's all I can handle. And besides, look what happens when you leave. You wind up riding an elevator with a sweaty killer.
Richard Castle : You could smell his sweat.
Mia Laszlo : And his gun.
Richard Castle : What else?
Mia Laszlo : [evasively] Nothing.
Richard Castle : Bull. You're like a bloodhound. You just don't want to get involved. But I'm betting you could identify this killer if you smelled him again.
[picking up a flower from the table and smelling it]
Richard Castle : That's nice.
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Kate Beckett : You know, if you just wait by the elevators, Ryan and Espo will take you home.
Mia Laszlo : I'd rather French kiss a corpse.
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Richard Castle : And you know this, how?
Mia Laszlo : I can smell it. Like I can smell that you washed you hair with shaving cream this morning. And you chose day-old tacos over brushing your teeth.
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[Ryan and Esposito approaching Castle and Mia]
Kevin Ryan : I give up. How the hell did the two of you trap Liam in his own trunk?
Mia Laszlo : Because we're awesome, and you two suck. Next question.
