Kate McKinnon: Jillian Holtzmann
Photos
Quotes
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Erin Gilbert : What year is it?
Jillian Holtzmann : It's 2040. Our president is a plant!
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Patty Tolan : That's where I saw that weird sparking thing.
Jillian Holtzmann : What was it?
Patty Tolan : Baby, if I knew what it was, I wouldn't have called it a 'weird sparking thing'.
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Jillian Holtzmann : Virgo. Avid skier. Gluten-full. And 100% jazzed to meet you.
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Agent Hawkins : Do you have any idea how many federal regulations you are breaking on a daily basis?
Jillian Holtzmann : One?
Agent Rorke : No.
Jillian Holtzmann : Two?
Agent Rorke : No.
Jillian Holtzmann : Is it one?
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Jillian Holtzmann : [smashes a guitar on stage and hands it back to its owner] Sorry. I can't buy you another one.
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Jillian Holtzmann : [Holstering her proton thrower] Forgot about my new toys.
Jillian Holtzmann : [Twin pistol-sized throwers emerge from her pack. She licks one] Let's go.
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Jillian Holtzmann : [eating Pringles chips from the can] Just try saying no to these salty parabolas!
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Agent Rorke : Sheriff in New Mexico reports a UFO encounter, the crew of the S.S. Ourang Medan dies mysteriously, the entire town of Langville, Montana goes missing.
Jillian Holtzmann : It does?
Abby Yates : Okay, but we're talking about relocating. No one's being killed here. Right?
Mayor Bradley : They were turned inside out.
Erin Gilbert : Their skin is on the inside of their body?
Mayor Bradley : Their skin is on the inside of their body because their organs are on the outside.
Abby Yates : But, they're okay, right?
Mayor Bradley : Sure.
Jillian Holtzmann : I think they're dead...
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Erin Gilbert : Why am I operating the untested nuclear laser?
Jillian Holtzmann : You have the longest arms.
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Jillian Holtzmann : Booyah! Emphasis on the boo.
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Jillian Holtzmann : Safety lights are for dudes!
Rebecca Gorin : Safety lights are for dudes.
[They high-five]
Rebecca Gorin : I hate doing that.
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Jillian Holtzmann : [singing like Glinda in "The Wizard of Oz"] Come out, come out, wherever you are...
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Jillian Holtzmann : You guys, this is exactly how I pictured my death!
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Jillian Holtzmann : Ma'am, can you tell us where you got the world's tiniest bowtie?
Erin Gilbert : Uh, it came with the shirt.
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Jillian Holtzmann : [Holtzmann places metal collar attached to proton gun on Erin] Do you know your iron level?
Erin Gilbert : Mm-mm.
Jillian Holtzmann : It's fine.
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Erin Gilbert : Holtzmann, come on!
Jillian Holtzmann : The hat is too much, right? Is it the wig or the hat?
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Jillian Holtzmann : You just got Holtzmanned, baby!
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[disassembling Rowan's device]
Jillian Holtzmann : I would have used aluminum but I'm crazy.
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Abby Yates : [Holtzmann is dancing to 'Rhythm of the Night'] I don't mean to DeBarge in!
Jillian Holtzmann : Is that by DeBarge? I thought it was Devo.
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[after playing the "farting" EVP tape to Erin]
Jillian Holtzmann : Is it more or less disgusting if I tell you it came out the front?
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Abby Yates : Come on Rowan, show yourself!
Rowan North : [disembodied voice] What form would you prefer I take?
Jillian Holtzmann : Uh, maybe something stationary. Like a bull's-eye.
Patty Tolan : Well I'll tell you what I prefer. I prefer something nice and cute, like a friendly little ghost.
Rowan North : [Manifests as the Ghostbuster's logo] Oh. Is that what you want? Something more familiar?
