House M.D. (TV Series)

Let Them Eat Cake (2008)

Peter Jacobson: Dr. Chris Taub

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Chris Taub : [after a patient dies]  Did Chase test for the biliary tumor?

  Dr. Lawrence Kutner : Said it was negative. Said she was stable when he left her. We should've found more time. We should've...

  Dr. Chris Taub : House is gonna kill us.

  Dr. Gregory House : Slowly.

  [Taub and Kutner turn around to see House standing behind them] 

  Dr. Gregory House : And painfully. You're not only idiots, you're frauds. Fraudulent idiots. Fraudulent idiotic killers, as it turns out.

• Dr. Chris Taub : [after Kutner tells him about an online business he's running]  You're insane with two days to live.

  Dr. Lawrence Kutner : House is never going to find out.

  Dr. Chris Taub : He will if I tell him, or you cut me in for 30% and I keep your secret safe.

  Dr. Lawrence Kutner : That's blackmail.

  Dr. Chris Taub : Yes.

• Dr. Lawrence Kutner : [as Emmy is exercising for a test]  You okay? Trouble breathing?

  Emmy : No, I feel fine. Why?

  [collapses] 

  Dr. Chris Taub : No pulse. This isn't asthma.

• Dr. Chris Taub : Why aren't we doing this in your office?

  Dr. Gregory House : Obviously, because it would be stupid to do this in an office with no furniture. Cuddy overreacted to my overreaction.

• Dr. Chris Taub : [to Emmy]  The test will measure the amount of time it'll take this electrical impulse to travel along your nerves.

  Emmy : Will it hurt?

  Dr. Chris Taub : No. Give me your arm.

  Emmy : You can ask nicely.

  Dr. Chris Taub : I learned at med school you don't actually cure with kindness.

  Emmy : You're right. I'm a hypocrite, but I don't have a choice.

  Dr. Chris Taub : Not really interested in your rationalizations.

  Emmy : If I'm open about the gastric bypass, no one would listen to me anymore.

  Dr. Chris Taub : You mean no one would buy your DVDs.

  Emmy : It's not about the DVD sales. I'm helping people. My clients are making themselves healthy. They're living better lives. Can you honestly tell me you've never done anything hypocritical? I'm sure you had good reasons.

  Dr. Chris Taub : Give me your arm... please?

• Dr. Lawrence Kutner : Her gastric bypass procedure could cause...

  Dr. Gregory House : Forget the bypass. Treat her like a fat girl.

  Dr. Chris Taub : Should we treat her like a 60-year-old Asian man too? She's not fat.

  Dr. Gregory House : Not on the outside, but on the inside, she's still tons of fun.

• Emmy : [to Taub]  If surgery could somehow make you taller, wouldn't you do it?

  Dr. Chris Taub : Sure, but I wouldn't call a meeting of the Lollipop Guild and tell them they can grow if they work real hard at it.