Feast (2005)
Clu Gulager: Bartender
Photos
Quotes
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Hero : Listen to me. A storm o'hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are, I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry... and there's four of 'em. They got claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw. They're comin'... right now. So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windows, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it now. You! Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks ass, and get 'em out here. Any questions?
Bartender : Yeah. Who the hell are you?
Hero : I'm the guy that's gonna save your ass.
[a monster immediately reaches through the window and kills him]
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Bozo : [Locked in bedroom as monster is coming through window] Okay! I'm ready to come out now!
Bartender : [Bartender fumbles outside with key; it breaks in the lock] Oh.
Bozo : [Panicking, rattling doorknob] OH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH"?
Coach : [Relatively calmly. i.e. oh, shit] Cheese and crackers.
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Bozo : YOU!
Grandma : [Drunkenly] What?
Bozo : You know somethin'!
Grandma : Huh?
Bozo : You're old! You've seen things!
Grandma : I don't know a thing.
Bartender : Easy there...
Bozo : Back off me, whitey! I'm interrogating her.
Bozo : Old people know things, like legends and tall tales and shit.
Grandma : No... really... I don't...
Bozo : Come on! Spill it! Or I'll get rough!
Grandma : I don't know anything!
[Points to Bartender]
Grandma : Why don't you ask him? He's old!
Heroine : Relax. She doesn't know anything.
Bozo : Yeah... allegedly.
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Bartender : C'mon, I'll take you to your car.
Honey Pie : [as Coach steps up beside Honey Pie at the bar] Not tonight. I have an escort.
Bartender : That'll be eighteen bucks, pal.
Bartender : [Coach opens wallet to pay, wedding ring falls out. Honey Pie shoves him to the ground and walks off. Re: tab] Guess I'll just keep this open.
