The Cat in the Hat (2003): Dir: Bo Welch / Cast: Mike Myers, Spencer Breslin, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Kelly Preston: Inexcusable piece of kitty litter about hidden deceit, such as the marketing for this film. A magnifying glass couldn't find a plot to this garbage. It basically regards two kids, one being a rule breaker and the other being a control freak, struggling to clean a house. What genius writing that is. Director Bo Welch proves to know absolutely nothing and relies on cheesy effects. Basically Myers doing a nightclub routine dressed as an overstuffed feline. He pulls everything from his hat except a decent script. The lock on his trunk goes missing and it threatens to unleash unspeakable terrors such as a sequel to this feline piece of sh*t. Spencer Breslin and Dakota Fanning have done better is superior films and they deserve better than this. Alec Baldwin as the scheming neighbor acts like a complete idiot. Baldwin is a capable actor but this, along with his idiot Mr. Conductor role in Thomas and the Magic Railroad, would be punishable by a severe flogging in some urban areas in the world. Kelly Preston must have had a slow career process if she goes from Battlefield Earth to this equally career damaging wretch. This is easily one of the worst excuses for family entertainment. It is an embarrassing mess that should be locked in a trunk and buried. Score: 1 / 10
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