Bewitched (2005)

Nicole Kidman: Isabel Bigelow, Samantha

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Isabel Bigelow : [Jack Wyatt is being a jerk on "Inside the Actor's Studio." Isabel gets on the phone with Nina]  Yes, I'm watching it.

  [exclaims disgustedly; beat] 

  Isabel Bigelow : What's a "dick?"

• Isabel Bigelow : Your life is total instant gratification, Daddy.

  Nigel Bigelow : It's fantastic, isn't it?

  Isabel Bigelow : No. No, it's not. Because how do you know that anyone really loves you for yourself? It's like those rich men who are never sure why women sleep with them.

  Nigel Bigelow : But women sleep with them, so it's not really a problem.

• Jack Wyatt : How would you like to be on a television show?

  Isabel Bigelow : An actress?

  Jack Wyatt : Yeah, if *I* can act, *you* can act.

  Book Soup Cafe Waitress : Amen.

  Jack Wyatt : [to girl]  You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of *hummus*.

• [Isabel changes a tarot card into a Visa Platinum Card to pay at Bed, Bath, and Beyond] 

  Isabel Bigelow : That was my last thing as a witch!

• Isabel Bigelow : [after Darin's dog jumps into her arms]  Thank God you didn't have a great Dane!

• Maria Kelly : Look, you have three choices. You can either quit... give up... or get mad.

  Isabel Bigelow : What would Samantha do?

  [Looks at picture of Elizabeth Montgomery &sets things off in the studio lot] 

  Maria Kelly : She chose mad, right?

• [first lines] 

  Isabel Bigelow : [Outside a house at which Isabel has just landed and made available for rent, furnished, with an open house today]  It's perfect!

  Realtor : Oh, great!

  Isabel Bigelow : I'll take it.

• [last lines] 

  Gladys Kravitz : [Standing at their window]  Abner, come look! The new neighbors are movin' in!

  Abner Kravitz : [Reading the newspaper]  Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.

  Isabel Bigelow : [Outside, in front of their new house, Jack lifts Isabel]  Aaaah

  Jack Wyatt : Ah, yes, now I'm going to... carry you across the threshold

  [they enter] 

  Isabel Bigelow : Don't you think the front yard looks a little bare?

  Jack Wyatt : No, I don't.

  Isabel Bigelow : But I think it could use a little something.

  Jack Wyatt : I-I-It's fine the way it is, honey.

  [Nose wiggling sound, followed by cherry tree growing and blooming in the front yard] 

  Gladys Kravitz : Abner! A tree just appeard in the front yard!

  [She faints] 

• [from trailer] 

  Isabel Bigelow : Guess what? I'm a witch!

  Jack Wyatt : Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!

• Jack Wyatt : So, were your parents in the witch business?

  Isabel Bigelow : Both of them. My mother fixed the 1986 World Series.

  Stu Robison : Someone make a note of that.

• Isabel Bigelow : I'm gonna be an actress in a television series.

  Maria Kelly : She's going to play Samantha on Bewitched!

  Nigel Bigelow : Bewitched?

  [appalled] 

  Nigel Bigelow : That's an *insult* to our way of life!

  Maria Kelly : [laughs]  Your dad is a hoot!

• Isabel Bigelow : [crying in her father's arms]  Isn't there a spell that can make you stop crying?

  Nigel Bigelow : No, darling, there isn't.

  Isabel Bigelow : He's idiotic, and yet I find him completely charming. It's been like that since the beginning. Only now, I also hate him.

  Nigel Bigelow : [nods]  Love.

  Isabel Bigelow : Daddy, what am I gonna do?

  Nigel Bigelow : Go home.

  Isabel Bigelow : Where's that?

  Nigel Bigelow : Wherever you've been the happiest.

• Isabel Bigelow : [Isabel rewinds time to undo a hex that was put on Jack and ends up back to where she was on the phone with Nina while watching Jack on "Inside the Actor's Studio."]  Yes, I'm watching it, and you're right, he is a great big male reproductive organ!

• [from trailer] 

  Isabel Bigelow : I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.

  Coffee Shop Waitress : Uh, no breakfast after 11.

  Isabel Bigelow : Oh.

  [snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55] 

  Isabel Bigelow : My absolutely last thing!

• Isabel Bigelow : [jumping up and down in excitement with Maria]  I don't know why we're doing this, but it's fun!

• Ritchie : That's it. You're fired.

  Isabel Bigelow : Doesn't matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.

  Jim Fields : You don't have an agent.

  Isabel Bigelow : Then call my cable man!

• Isabel Bigelow : [after quitting/being fired]  I can't just walk back in there now.

  Jack Wyatt : Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I've done it a lot of times.

• Nina : There must be a solution!

  Isabel Bigelow : No, there isn't. We're at The Coffee Bean, and there is... no... solution.

• Isabel Bigelow : Oh, we're going to kiss aren't we?

  Jack Wyatt : I thought so. But, thanks for ruining the moment Miss Narrator.

• Jack Wyatt : Let's make love in a hot-air balloon - let's make love in a candy factory - let's make love in a petting zoo...

  Isabel Bigelow : I have to undo this...

  Jack Wyatt : Let's make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale!

• Isabel Bigelow : But everyone loves duck...

  Jack Wyatt : No, they don't!

• Nigel Bigelow : The valley? Why would you want to live in the valley?

  Isabel Bigelow : Because it's NORMAL

• Isabel Bigelow : I just want to be normal.

  Jack Wyatt : Acting is BETTER than normal. You get to PRETEND to be normal.

• Isabel Bigelow : You're sweating again - I love it when you sweat!