Father of the Pride (2004–2005)

Carl Reiner: Sarmoti

Quotes 

• Sarmoti : Larry, I want you to know, if you were my own son... I'd be pretty disapointed. But I'd make do.

• Kate : [off screen]  Larry, oh my God, get in here.

  Larry : [startled awake from sleep]  Kinda busy hon. I'm working on the

  [mumbles and drifts off to sleep] 

  Sarmoti : Boy, did my daughter hit the jackpot with you.

• Foo-Lin : Did it ever occur to you that maybe I could do better?

  Sarmoti : No. That did not occur to me. Good Lord! Your whole species is meshuggah. No wonder you're going extinct.

  Foo-Lin : I deserve love!

  Sarmoti : Wrong! You're a middle aged, fat, virgin panda. You deserve Nelson.

• Sarmoti : [talking about the Today show]  Katie Couric has got that "good girl but probably wild in the sack" thing going on.

  Larry : Brother, you got that right!

• Sarmoti : As a lion you got it here

  [touches Larry's forehead] 

  Sarmoti : and in here.

  [touches Larry's ribacage] 

  Larry : [giggling]  That tickles.

  Sarmoti : You sure you're all lion? Maybe a chimp schtooped your gradma.

• Kate : [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it]  Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room.

  [hands bag to Larry] 

  Kate : Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.

  Larry : [sniffs bag]  Yep, that's catnip.

  Kate : Oh God, our daughter's a niphead.

  Sarmoti : Nice. You run a tight ship champ.

  [pats Larry on the back] 

  Kate : This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude.

  Larry : Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment.

  Sarmoti : "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant.

• Foo-Lin : Kate, can I sleep over? I don't want to be alone tonight. Or ever. Oh God! What's wrong with me?

  Sarmoti : I'll tell you what's wrong with you: Your ovaries are turning into concrete. Go home. Get out of here!

  Foo-Lin : [laughing]  Oh Sarmoti, you always know how to make me laugh.

• Sarmoti : Hey, here comes that Debra chick.

  Bernie : I hear she is wild!

  Larry : The elephant? You're into that?

  Bernie : C'mon, you never had the "Pinned in the Lake" fantasy? You know, I'm just sitting here at the water's edge. Whoops! I slipped. Or did I?