- Larry: [to Kate] Big daddy is home and he's ready for lovin'. It may be 9 o' clock in New York, but right here it's Mountin' Time!
- Sarmoti: Larry, I want you to know, if you were my own son... I'd be pretty disapointed. But I'd make do.
- Foo-Lin: My sister has a husband and a baby on the way. I have nothing. Not even my jewerly making business is going well. At least I've got Mr. Right. Mr. Right's the only man who loves me. Aren't you Mr. Right?
- [holds cat up to her face and rubs her nose against the cat's back]
- Foo-Lin: Boodgie, boodgie, boo!
- Mr. Right, Foo-Lin's cat: [mouthing words silently to Larry] HELP ME!
- Mr. Right, Foo-Lin's cat: Tonight she's going to put me in a sailor outfit. Do me a favor, just eat me now.
- Larry: Yeah, you know I would, but housecats give me acid reflux.
- Larry: [to Kate] I'm not the kind of guy who goes on TV. I'm the kind of guy who lies in front of the TV. And I'm just sort of hitting my stride with that.
- Bernie: [while watching with Sarmoti a video of Sarmoti's younger days balancing on a giant ball] I think you look great there, chief. Lean and mean. Top notch.
- [Sarmoti on video falls]
- Bernie: Whoops! Beautiful fall monsignor. You are the Baryshnikov of disaster.
- [Sarmoti rewinds the video segment]
- Bernie: Wonderful slip! Great surrender to gravity. Falling.
- [Sarmoti on video falls again]
- Bernie: Ground, there you go. Sorry I'm all tapped out. You gotta stop watching that. It's not doing you any good at all.
- Kate: [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it] Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room.
- [hands bag to Larry]
- Kate: Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.
- Larry: [sniffs bag] Yep, that's catnip.
- Kate: Oh God, our daughter's a niphead.
- Sarmoti: Nice. You run a tight ship champ.
- [pats Larry on the back]
- Kate: This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude.
- Larry: Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment.
- Sarmoti: "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant.
- Kate: When I was a teenager I never tried catnip. Did you?
- Larry: Me? Catnip? Never.
- Snack: [drops into room] Hey kitty cats. What's happening?
- Larry: [hands plastic bag to Snack] We just found this in Sierra's room.
- Snack: Ahhhh- hah ha! This must take you back Lar. Always had the good stuff, huh buddy?
- Larry: [waving hands and shaking head in "no don't" gesture]
- Snack: Always a party at Larry's. Lots and lots of ladies.
- Larry: [slaps forehead in frustration]
- Snack: Some say they were only there for the 'nip. But hey, at least they were there. Does this ring any bells?
- [starts to spin on his head]
- Snack: Whoooooooooooooo!
- Larry: [stops Snack's spinning with his hand]
- Larry: [to Kate] Heh. He's not doing it right.
- Larry: [after Hunter refuses to state where his sister is at] So you want to play hardball? Well what's this?
- [picks up a spray bottle]
- Larry: Oh water! As I recall little kitty cats don't like water.
- Hunter: I don't know where she is!
- Larry: I've cracked harder nuts than you mister.
- [squirts water in his own face]
- Larry: Ow! I'm hit! Oh!
- [fall on his back to the floor]
- Larry: Officer down!
- Chutney the Elephant: Larry, do you still have that spare key to my house I gave you?
- Larry: What, the turkey lock you out again?
- Chutney the Elephant: I don't know what you're implying, but the turkey's just my roomate. We have seperate bedrooms. It's an economic arrangement. I was tired for cooking for one... ah screw it! I'll get my key from someone else.
- Roger the Orangutan: [bent over, facing Larry and pointing to his rear end] Larry, is that a mole? I can't tell. Be honest.
- Larry: Roger, I can't do a mole check right now.
- Roger the Orangutan: Do you know how much it took to make myself that vulnerable to you, crapface?
- Siegfried: [on stage wearing an astronaut constume] What is this planet we have landed on Roy?
- Roy: [wearing astronaut constume] I know not Siegfried, but it has some very strange creatures on it.
- Chutney the Elephant: Oh, we're strange. What kind of astronaut wears a rhinestone codpiece?
- Turkey Roomate: [gobbling angrily]
- Chutney the Elephant: Yeah? Well, you don't get to have an opinion since you made me sleep on the couch last night.
- [looks around cautiously at the other animals]
- Chutney the Elephant: Uhh... roomate?
- Larry: I don't know what's going on with Sierra lately. We don't connect anymore.
- Kate: It's just a phase.
- Larry: I know. But what happened to the kid who wouldn't eat a bite of dinner unless she was sitting next to me?
- Kate: If it makes you feel any better she treats me the same way.
- Larry: Well, yeah. But she was never nuts about you.
- Carl: Hey! Larry! Congrats on getting lead lion. How about I buy your breakfast?
- Larry: Thanks, Carl, that'd be great!
- Roger the Orangutan: He,y Larry, can I pick up your tab?
- Larry: Sorry, Roger, Carl already got it for me.
- Roger the Orangutan: Carl...
- [shouts]
- Roger the Orangutan: Damn you, Carl!