Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2002 Video Game)

Christopher Lucas: Congressman Alex Shrub

Quotes 

• Congressman Alex Shrub : You have no idea what it takes to serve, the sacrifices, I've made to help my country, to help Vice City. The complexity of the government, the... the hideousness of my wife and the way her thighs grow like our national debt. Oh, sure, some people like that, but not me, it's a nightmare my friend, and having it thrown back at me by an ingrate like you... I can scarcely get up in the morning!

  Maurice Chavez : And with that outrageous revelation, let's take a quick break.

• Alex Shrub : We were given k9's, and bicuspids for a reason to open packages of potato chips.

• Congressman Alex Shrub : Those statistics are interesting, but like all statistics, they are also irrelevant.

• Alex Shrub : Oh, at first, women couldn't vote. But the liberals come in crying crocodile tears.

• Maurice Chavez : And up on Capital Hill, you were instrumental in pushing through a bill allowing the manufacture and sale of "Giggle Cream", a dessert with potential lethal consequences.

  Alex Shrub : Uh... not true! Only 23 people have died and several of them probably deserved it.

• Maurice Chavez : Enough! We're running out of time and you completely failed to answer the question.

  Alex Shrub : I'm a professional. That's my job.

• Alex Shrub : [to Callum Crayshaw]  You're beginning to sound red and by that I mean you prefer a hammer and a sickle over a hamburger.

• Alex Shrub : Well, look at this. Stump jumpin' Jethro is using all three of his brain cells to talk.

• Alex Shrub : Have you met my lovely wife, Laura? No? Well, unfortunately, she's in Alabama. This is Candy.

• Maurice Chavez : Yes, but how will that stop people taking baseball bats and pounding the living crap out of each other as I saw at a mother's PTA group meeting recently?

  Alex Shrub : Baseball is our national sport- our national pastime. Joining together as men to reward the act of running around in a circle. I will thank you not to take its name in vain, Chavez.