Death Race 2000 (1975)

Sylvester Stallone: Machine Gun Joe Viterbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute. But me, I think you're one very large baked potato.

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Hey, cornball, what's the fastest way through here?

  Fisherman : Well, the way we do it is we get a bulldozer and plow right through there.

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : No, I mean, what's the fastest way from here to Albuquerque?

  Fisherman : You gotta go back to the main highway, really.

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : That was more than 45 minutes!

  Fisherman : I've seen you before. I'm one of your greatest fans, you know that? I've followed all the races. I have pictures of you all over the outhouse. I even named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein, I did.

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : You lousy stinking dirtball... you've got two seconds to live!

• Special agent : You know, Mr. VeTurbo, as a representative of Mr. President's government, I happen to hold the power of life and death.

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Yeah? Well, I happen to hold the clam sauce.

  [slings a handful of clam sauce into the Special Agent's face] 

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : [strangling Annie]  How does it feel to know you're gonna spend the rest of your life in pain? The rest of your life is about a minute and a half.

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : I got two words to say to that... BULL - SHIT!

• Junior : Joe doesn't look too happy, but you just can't keep those Frankenstein fans down.

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Lousy sons of bitches! Frankenstein...

  Myra : Give it to 'em, Joe!

  [she hands Joe a Thompson submachine gun] 

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Frankenstein! You want Frankenstein? I'll give you Frankenstein!

  [Joe opens fire into the stands] 

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Aarrgh!

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : You know, it used to be in the old days we would just take someone like you in a alley and blow their brains out.

  Annie Paine : Come on, Joe, all's fair in love and war.

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : I'm glad you said that, Annie, because what we got going here ain't exactly love.

  [begins to strangle her] 

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Who built this stinking road? If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out!

• [at the race's first pit stop, Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo, Calamity Jane and Matilda the Hun and their navigators are getting a massage treatment] 

  Special agent : [addresses the racers and their navigators]  One thing before we begin: the government would like it if no one said anything about Nero, understand? He hit a tree and that's it. Got it? We don't wanna depress anybody...

  Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : [interrupts]  Hey, hey! Everybody knows he's been blown up by the Resistance, you schmuck. It was on television.

  Special agent : If you wanna drive again next year, Mr. VeTurbo, you'll keep those opinions to yourself.

• Machine Gun Joe VeTurbo : Save it for the French.