4/10
Journey to the Center of the Earth: Oozes with tack
29 April 2024
Plot

Remake of Jules Verne's classic story finds adventurers seeking a mysterious hidden land. They are joined by the wife of another man, who had previously gone on a similar expedition and disappeared.

Cast

Treat Williams and Jeremy London are a talented pair and make for some good casting. Bryan Brown, less so. Petra Yared however was a wonderful surprise.

Verdict

How many versions of this have there been? Ever since the original back in 1959 we seem to have had a fair few, varying budgets, varying quality. So where does this Hallmark version sit on the scale? Not great, not great at all.

Now to be clear I like Williams I think he's a great b-movie leading man and both the London twins have been in plenty of great films so I consider myself a fan. So here, they had the cast to pull this off.

What didn't they have? Well to start off I'd say the budget, they didn't have the budget. Some partys looked worse than the worst Scyfy original as far as CGI is concerned and some of the practical effects were Jason & the Argonauts level.

What else? Decent writing, a consistent supporting cast and something, anything to make it stand out from the those before it (In a good way).

Without all this we have an often ugly, poorly acted, unoriginal, tacky movie that for it's 3hr runtime is exhausting.

If you binge watch multiple adaptations expect this to be a low point.

Rants

I mean seriously that scene with the large creature that won't be elaborated on as this is a no spoiler review! The CGI there was, I mean truly next level and by next level I mean last level, I mean oldest level, I mean give a computer to a cave of neanderthal men and I'm confident they'd do better! Yikes, that was just embarassing.

The Good

Two leads are great as was Yared

The Bad

Brown is just obnoxious and unlikable in everything he's in.

Hugely ugly in places Some very weak writing Some even weaker acting with some of the supporting cast.
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