Imagine Gladiator, but with nowhere near the budget, script, pacing, actors, effects, or directorial flair, but which does share the playing fast and loose with actual history bit, and you've pretty much got the picture.
Thus if your idea of a worthy historical portrayal of the Celtic Britton queen Boudica's revolt against the Romans, is to have a Ukranian actress play the eponymous main character, then have her daughters played by two girls of Fijian descent for some bizarre reason, all of whom couldn't act their way out a wet paper bag. Then have them go up against cardboard cutout pantomine villains which make Dick Dastardly look like a credible real-life character, then this is the movie for you.
Seriously, the performance by those two girls is more wooden than the wheels on Boudica's chariot. It's almost worth watching just to see how bad they are.
Of course movies of this type are going to tweak history a bit to make them enjoyable to watch, but this script alters the truth so extensively that there are episodes of Scooby Doo which are more historically accurate. Then again, if you like films with more blood and guts than the average Saw movie, you might at least like those parts of it. But having said that, whilst it is undeniably true ancient sword and spear battles were certainly bloody affairs, just when you think, 'well at least this bit is reasonably accurate', get ready for Boudica's magic sword. Yes really. By the power of Grayskull!
So what we have here, is essentially a cheap sword and sandal fantasy slasher flick, masquerading as an ancient historical biopic. The historical events and characters in the film are limited to the following: yes there was such a place as Ancient Britain and a native Iceni/Trinovantes army led by a woman nicknamed Boudica which conducted a briefly successful revolt against Britain's Roman occupiers, and yes one of the Romans who provoked the rebellion was called Catus Decianus.
And that's about it; everything else is pretty much not even remotely true, grossly misrepresented, or just plain incorrect, and that includes the costumes, armour, weapons, tactics, military units, scenery, dialogue, behaviour of the people, social conventions and even the reasons for the revolt in the first place.
Add to that some mind-numbingly bad script-writing and pacing and nowhere near the budget necessary to portray a revolt which, in truth, involved an army which most historians put at about 120,000 Celts, which killed and tortured an estimated 80,000 people - including a lot of Britons as well as Romans incidentally - and you've got this travesty of a movie.
Seriously, this thing makes Team America look like a documentary.
Thus if your idea of a worthy historical portrayal of the Celtic Britton queen Boudica's revolt against the Romans, is to have a Ukranian actress play the eponymous main character, then have her daughters played by two girls of Fijian descent for some bizarre reason, all of whom couldn't act their way out a wet paper bag. Then have them go up against cardboard cutout pantomine villains which make Dick Dastardly look like a credible real-life character, then this is the movie for you.
Seriously, the performance by those two girls is more wooden than the wheels on Boudica's chariot. It's almost worth watching just to see how bad they are.
Of course movies of this type are going to tweak history a bit to make them enjoyable to watch, but this script alters the truth so extensively that there are episodes of Scooby Doo which are more historically accurate. Then again, if you like films with more blood and guts than the average Saw movie, you might at least like those parts of it. But having said that, whilst it is undeniably true ancient sword and spear battles were certainly bloody affairs, just when you think, 'well at least this bit is reasonably accurate', get ready for Boudica's magic sword. Yes really. By the power of Grayskull!
So what we have here, is essentially a cheap sword and sandal fantasy slasher flick, masquerading as an ancient historical biopic. The historical events and characters in the film are limited to the following: yes there was such a place as Ancient Britain and a native Iceni/Trinovantes army led by a woman nicknamed Boudica which conducted a briefly successful revolt against Britain's Roman occupiers, and yes one of the Romans who provoked the rebellion was called Catus Decianus.
And that's about it; everything else is pretty much not even remotely true, grossly misrepresented, or just plain incorrect, and that includes the costumes, armour, weapons, tactics, military units, scenery, dialogue, behaviour of the people, social conventions and even the reasons for the revolt in the first place.
Add to that some mind-numbingly bad script-writing and pacing and nowhere near the budget necessary to portray a revolt which, in truth, involved an army which most historians put at about 120,000 Celts, which killed and tortured an estimated 80,000 people - including a lot of Britons as well as Romans incidentally - and you've got this travesty of a movie.
Seriously, this thing makes Team America look like a documentary.