Don't take the snarling shark in the trailer as anything other than a better MacGuffin than Colm Meaney's utterly pointless character. They are taking the topic of a plane crashing into the ocean, sinking to the bottom and sharks swimming down the aisles seriously! And the Director, presenting the film as "A Claudio Fah film", is all in. I fully expected this to be satire...
No doubt reviews will be metaphor filled, for the creators of this mess of a movie have set themselves up for critics to go straight to something to declare.
First up, the trailer shows the entire plot of the film, leaving nothing to garner from spending your money and time on actually going to watch this plane crash of a movie. If you need to waste time and cannot think of anything better to do (I mean ANYTHING), watch the trailer on loop.
Sounds as arduous as a long-haul flight in the middle seat? Well, watching this movie is!
The movie is like a flight on a bad budget airline, it's totally cheap, offers zero frills and treats you like a subhuman. Clearly, the producers had a pre-flight cocktail of ethanol to think this was a good film to make. And when they realised the projects dire situation and asked if anyone can fly a plane, the wannabe Director, Claudio Fahr raised his hand up, for we know where the Director was in this turbulent effort - he was in the cockpit at the controls plunging the actors to the lowest depths!
The script, with its cringe plot and subplots, is like finding a used sick bag in the seat pocket in front of you - it will have you retching.
Exposition is as subtle as the safety instructions on a plane, recited by a weary flight attendant who knows you're not listening. Every plot point is telegraphed with the subtlety of an in-flight meal - you see it coming, and it's just as unappetizing when it arrives.
"Characters from different backgrounds are thrown together" very true! The character development, or lack thereof, leaves the actors struggling to perform convincingly. The filmmakers lacklustre effort to pack into your luggage themes of survival, resilience, human spirit and even a contrived attempt of a homosexuality sub plot end up lost in a cloud of clichés and predictability which is just plain boring.
The setting, a potentially claustrophobic and terrifying air pocket in a submerged airplane, is squandered, much like the oxygen within it. Instead of using this to build tension and evoke a visceral reaction, it's relegated to being just another backdrop for lacklustre dialogues and naff shark attacks that feel as if they were added as an afterthought - a desperate attempt to inject some thrill into the waterlogged narrative.
The unrealistic climax, which should have been a nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat affair, is as deflating as a life jacket that's been punctured. Our protagonist's escape and subsequent rescue are executed with such a lack of finesse that one can't help but wonder if the script itself was a survivor of a similar disaster - battered, bruised, and barely clinging to coherence.
Calling the airline Vista is an unintentional nod to the infamous Windows Vista - a perfect metaphor for this film: a system full of glitches and unmet potential. Like the operating system, 'No Way Up' promises a lot but crashes spectacularly, leaving us with nothing but a screen of disappointment. It's an ironic nod that inadvertently highlights the movie's own failings - a flight of fancy that never leaves the runway.
In conclusion, 'No Way Up' is a cinematic S. O. S., a distress signal that went unheeded by its creators. It's a stark reminder that a thrilling premise alone cannot buoy a film; it requires the life vest of a solid script, compelling characters, and a pilot capable of navigating the treacherous waters of storytelling. Unfortunately for the audience, this Director can't fly.
No doubt reviews will be metaphor filled, for the creators of this mess of a movie have set themselves up for critics to go straight to something to declare.
First up, the trailer shows the entire plot of the film, leaving nothing to garner from spending your money and time on actually going to watch this plane crash of a movie. If you need to waste time and cannot think of anything better to do (I mean ANYTHING), watch the trailer on loop.
Sounds as arduous as a long-haul flight in the middle seat? Well, watching this movie is!
The movie is like a flight on a bad budget airline, it's totally cheap, offers zero frills and treats you like a subhuman. Clearly, the producers had a pre-flight cocktail of ethanol to think this was a good film to make. And when they realised the projects dire situation and asked if anyone can fly a plane, the wannabe Director, Claudio Fahr raised his hand up, for we know where the Director was in this turbulent effort - he was in the cockpit at the controls plunging the actors to the lowest depths!
The script, with its cringe plot and subplots, is like finding a used sick bag in the seat pocket in front of you - it will have you retching.
Exposition is as subtle as the safety instructions on a plane, recited by a weary flight attendant who knows you're not listening. Every plot point is telegraphed with the subtlety of an in-flight meal - you see it coming, and it's just as unappetizing when it arrives.
"Characters from different backgrounds are thrown together" very true! The character development, or lack thereof, leaves the actors struggling to perform convincingly. The filmmakers lacklustre effort to pack into your luggage themes of survival, resilience, human spirit and even a contrived attempt of a homosexuality sub plot end up lost in a cloud of clichés and predictability which is just plain boring.
The setting, a potentially claustrophobic and terrifying air pocket in a submerged airplane, is squandered, much like the oxygen within it. Instead of using this to build tension and evoke a visceral reaction, it's relegated to being just another backdrop for lacklustre dialogues and naff shark attacks that feel as if they were added as an afterthought - a desperate attempt to inject some thrill into the waterlogged narrative.
The unrealistic climax, which should have been a nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat affair, is as deflating as a life jacket that's been punctured. Our protagonist's escape and subsequent rescue are executed with such a lack of finesse that one can't help but wonder if the script itself was a survivor of a similar disaster - battered, bruised, and barely clinging to coherence.
Calling the airline Vista is an unintentional nod to the infamous Windows Vista - a perfect metaphor for this film: a system full of glitches and unmet potential. Like the operating system, 'No Way Up' promises a lot but crashes spectacularly, leaving us with nothing but a screen of disappointment. It's an ironic nod that inadvertently highlights the movie's own failings - a flight of fancy that never leaves the runway.
In conclusion, 'No Way Up' is a cinematic S. O. S., a distress signal that went unheeded by its creators. It's a stark reminder that a thrilling premise alone cannot buoy a film; it requires the life vest of a solid script, compelling characters, and a pilot capable of navigating the treacherous waters of storytelling. Unfortunately for the audience, this Director can't fly.