The Norseman (1978)
4/10
Brainless film but also mindless fun to watch
16 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Believe it or not I actually like this really really bad movie. Why? They told a good yarn.

I found the basic plot believable -i.e a Viking crew gets captured and the Vikings send another crew out to find and rescue him. But that really is as far as the believability goes.

Lee Majors (Excuse me?) plays Thorvald- the Son of the Viking King who was captured by American Indians. For some bizarre reason he has his 12-yr old young brother Eric along (played by Chuck Pierce Jr.) Other notable members include a Hooded wizard with a Falcon played by Jack Elam (Yep the star of Spaghetti Westerns) his second in command Ragnar played by Cornel Wilde and a black Viking dude played by LA Rams Fearsome Foursome Defensive Lineman DeaconJones. Apparently once captured as a thrall he learned their respect by cutting out the tongue of Olaf-really the hero of the story who can only make grunting sounds. The other character of note is Susie Coehlo who plays a young Indian hottie who apparently made the Indian headman jealous when she looked to be getting overly friendly with then original Viking crew. He blinds them with firebrands and subsequently enslaves them.

The acting was really rather bad from beginning to end. As Winetta the young Indian hottie Coehlo has only a few lines of dialog and never in english. As portrayed she is also apparently pretty helpless in the forest and gets lost easily. The dialog is very stilted with some real groaners. In one scene when they first land a Vikings says that here are the sweetest grapes he has ever tasted. Thorvald declares the land will be called Vineland. Actually it's Florida but what's a navigation error of several thousand miles between friends?

In another line one Viking says there is no sign of Civilization. WTF? Can you imagine a Viking Berserker ever making that kind of observation?

So why did i like the movie?

To start with I really liked the musical score. I haven't been able to determine who composed it but I thought the theme appropriate for a story of exploration into the unknown.

I first saw this movie as teenage boy when it came out. From the beginning I could put myself in the story onboard the longboat and seeing North America for the first time. Then it just felt real to me the scenes of them rowing up the river with the backdrop of riverbanks going by. Even today forty year later I still have some vestige of that feeling. Stupid badly written inaccurate script and bad acting or not- if you audience can put themselves in the movie you have told a good yarn.

To me this movie is just pure escapist fantasy fun. Treat it as such and you can enjoy it.

And btw- Why do I consider the mute Olaf the real hero? Several times he just outperforms all the lead actors (not a difficult task in this movie)- in some cases just really hams it up. In one lake scene he is trapped by two Indians and he submerges himself, sneaks up on them , pulls their legs out from under them and holds them underwater until they drown. In the final chase scenes he gets tired of running away and stops to face their enemies. When ordered to retreat he grunts. Then when everyone is back on the ship he appears- badly wounded but single-handedly delayed the pursuit long enough for our heroes to reach the safety of the longboat. In the end he gets saved by Lee Majors and others who engage in some fisticuffs with the indians.
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