Dante's Hotel (2023)
3/10
Holy cow this is a mess.
24 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This movie.would be outlawed in all states that are against abortions, because it is a spectacular one. The only saving grace is the set, as every aspect requiring actual human involvement was handled with embarrassing incompetency. I cannot slam the actors TOO badly, considering the disjointed and sometimes aimless script they had to work with, though certainly no awards will be won here. The protagonist seems to be completely clueless until key points in the plot, where he suddenly reveals insights to the bad guy that he could not possibly know and yet still somehow are rendered completely irrelevant. The bad guy has no discernibly consistent M. O., either: Does he kill you himself? Set ghosts on you? Cause people to kill each other? All of the above, for the obvious reason of simply padding the laughably 'horror' aspect. At least until it REALLY matters, and then he is somehow beholden to be... nice? The ending was hurried and wholly unsatisfying, with another (different) break in consistency just to defeat the Great Evil. There are no rules here, despite the script trying (not very hard) to make you think otherwise, so don't bother trying to figure it out. I think the best that one can hope for is to just treat this movie like an episode of Supernatural or something, though even those were better written, acted, produced, etc. If you want a goofy horror that works best as ambient background noise, this is it, but If you want a decent foray into horror this season, there are about 8,253,643 movies that WON'T leave you utterly confused and wanting a refund for a free show. I really think this is one of those movies that was detrimental to everyone involved; I almost feel bad for the cast.

And, ***SPOILER*** anyone who has ever seen "Murder, She Wrote" knows to keep an eye on any face/name you recognize in a sea of nameless actors.
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