6/10
Something Of A Waste Of Talent
21 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I'm still in a quandary as to why British film-maker Shane Meadows has not produced a 'substantive' feature film since 2006's This Is England - the excellent (multiple) TV series based on This Is England and the curiosity that was The Gallows Pole are really no substitute. I had misgivings around this 2002 effort and, on rewatching for the first time in two decades, these have not lessened. Perhaps the most baffling aspect of Once Upon a Time in the Midlands is the waste of (acting) talent on show, which I can only put down to Meadows' and regular collaborator Paul Fraser not being up to the mark, writing-wise (or maybe the film-makers just weren't used to working with a - no doubt only slightly - larger budget(?). With a cast including Robert Carlyle, Kathy Burke, Shirley Henderson, Rhys Ifans, Ricky Tomlinson et al surely guarantees a winner - but, alas, no. Meadows' concept - vaguely inspired by Sergio Leone's classic 1968 western - of Carlyle's Glaswegian (a sort of Begbie-light), Jimmy, returning to claim his ex-wife, Henderson's Shirley, and daughter (an impressive Finn Atkins's Marlene) in the face of Ifans' outwardly wimpy, Dek, is fine, but once the set-up (which, for at least half an hour is frequently very funny) has been achieved, the writing plateaus and then rather goes downhill.

For me, the most impressive element here is Ifans' character - full of faux-macho bravado, despite a pink three-wheeler as a replacement car - and his bond with Shirley and Marlene provides the most substantive (and touching) thread. Of course, with the comedic talent on show, plenty of the early scenes hit home (Dek reacting to Jimmy's return with 'where's me air rifle?' and, in the midst of the trauma, Shirley being invited, 'Do you wanna watch The Weakest Link?'), but the trio of bungling Glaswegians (including the great character actors James Cosmo and David McKay (from My Name is Joe and Neds) following Jimmy to the Midlands to reclaim their part of stolen booty are sadly underused (even if their 'clown mugging' sequence includes Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer 'in disguise'!). There is also an (unintendedly?) significant thread around the film's opening Vanessa Felz talk show, with Dek bemoaning the perils of such 'accidental fame' (as Jimmy watches on). Meadows, who is notable for some brilliant use of music in other films, restricts himself to composer John Lunn's reasonable take on Ennio Morricone and the impressive use of the Norah Jones' song, Shoot the Moon.

Of Meadows' five significant features' through to This Is England, Once upon a Time.... is (for me) the weakest - even 2008's relatively minor Somers Town knocks Once Upon a Time... into a cocked hat. Still, here's hoping that Meadows makes a long-awaited return to the big screen at some point.
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