One word comes to mind: contrivance.
This film is one gigantic contrivance. Plot, character, heck everything. It commits the worst sin a film like this can make, it's boring.
Remember how much fun the first Guardians movie was? Remember how sweet and lovable those characters were? Remember how fresh and silly but genuinely entertaining it was?
That's absent here. The movie is overblown, overwrought and has absolutely no clue what it wants to be.
Talking about no clue...Adam Warlock. Oh my gosh, they had absolutely no idea what to do with him. It's like they just threw him in because he's been teased in the previous movies. Now he's here and he's not exciting, enjoyable or remotely necessary to the story. Waste of everyone's time.
Over the last 9 years we've grown to love these characters. Here, they are bigger, and meaner facsimiles of themselves (to varying degrees) and most importantly I just didn't buy what they were selling.
The movie feels like a theme park attraction, but in that cheesy and stupid way you can't help to roll your eyes at. There's very little heart and almost no soul in the movie. It's just going through the motions of a Marvel movie. It's a product that is there to be consumed, but like anything that's made without care or purpose, it leaves you feeling empty inside.
Chris Pratt used to be endearing and charming. There was a comedic sensibility to his Peter Quill that was like a child playing Han Solo. That relatability is gone. There are a few lines that land, but most just feel unnecessary. He drops an f-bomb that is funny, but also felt unnecessary immediately afterward.
The only thing that worked for me was Rocket and his backstory. They took my favorite character in the Guardians and they framed the film around him, and let me say that it's the only thing that remotely works. We are told his origin while he is in a coma for the majority of the film. His story is engaging, it's a bit unsettling and the only thing that keeps this unnecessarily long film even remotely worth the investment of time.
The High Evolutionary, always an intriguing and engaging villain, falls into the Marvel trap of becoming just another bad guy who, while having a purpose for his evil, just isn't all that compelling and interesting to give us a reason to care about what he's doing. He's unsympathetic and poorly deployed. There's very little threat from him, and his motives aren't all that exciting, but I will say they do ring true from his comic counterpart. I'd have leaned into a body horror concept and made it more Dr. Moreau, but here it's a lame, loud and obnoxious version that just didn't engage me.
I saw this with a bunch of Marvel fans, everyone around me stuck around for the mid and post-credit scenes and throughout the film, I heard so many people being so frustrated and laughing at how dumb the movie was.
We've come to expect a lot from James Gunn. He's a fantastic director, and has the ability to add genuine pathos and soul to many of his characters. Here, we get something that feels half baked and overcooked at the same time. Too many characters, too many plot contrivances that happen out of absolutely nowhere and at the end of the day, it's just not worth the time, money or effort.
I wanted to leave the theater. I actually wanted it to end sooner. Gone was that feeling of being a 7 year old. The joy, the wonder the feeling of exhilaration...it's all gone.
I try not to be negative, I don't want to rant about things I hate. I want to spread joy, happiness and love. But so many times I found myself wanting to yell at the screen for insulting mine and the audience's collective intelligence and good faith that they had previously earned. When the final dance number (yes, dance number) happened I just felt embarrassed.
It left me thinking one thing: exactly who is this movie for? It's too dour and mean for kids, and not engaging or smart enough to appear to adults.
Oh, and I wanted to scream at what they did with Groot at the end too.
This film is one gigantic contrivance. Plot, character, heck everything. It commits the worst sin a film like this can make, it's boring.
Remember how much fun the first Guardians movie was? Remember how sweet and lovable those characters were? Remember how fresh and silly but genuinely entertaining it was?
That's absent here. The movie is overblown, overwrought and has absolutely no clue what it wants to be.
Talking about no clue...Adam Warlock. Oh my gosh, they had absolutely no idea what to do with him. It's like they just threw him in because he's been teased in the previous movies. Now he's here and he's not exciting, enjoyable or remotely necessary to the story. Waste of everyone's time.
Over the last 9 years we've grown to love these characters. Here, they are bigger, and meaner facsimiles of themselves (to varying degrees) and most importantly I just didn't buy what they were selling.
The movie feels like a theme park attraction, but in that cheesy and stupid way you can't help to roll your eyes at. There's very little heart and almost no soul in the movie. It's just going through the motions of a Marvel movie. It's a product that is there to be consumed, but like anything that's made without care or purpose, it leaves you feeling empty inside.
Chris Pratt used to be endearing and charming. There was a comedic sensibility to his Peter Quill that was like a child playing Han Solo. That relatability is gone. There are a few lines that land, but most just feel unnecessary. He drops an f-bomb that is funny, but also felt unnecessary immediately afterward.
The only thing that worked for me was Rocket and his backstory. They took my favorite character in the Guardians and they framed the film around him, and let me say that it's the only thing that remotely works. We are told his origin while he is in a coma for the majority of the film. His story is engaging, it's a bit unsettling and the only thing that keeps this unnecessarily long film even remotely worth the investment of time.
The High Evolutionary, always an intriguing and engaging villain, falls into the Marvel trap of becoming just another bad guy who, while having a purpose for his evil, just isn't all that compelling and interesting to give us a reason to care about what he's doing. He's unsympathetic and poorly deployed. There's very little threat from him, and his motives aren't all that exciting, but I will say they do ring true from his comic counterpart. I'd have leaned into a body horror concept and made it more Dr. Moreau, but here it's a lame, loud and obnoxious version that just didn't engage me.
I saw this with a bunch of Marvel fans, everyone around me stuck around for the mid and post-credit scenes and throughout the film, I heard so many people being so frustrated and laughing at how dumb the movie was.
We've come to expect a lot from James Gunn. He's a fantastic director, and has the ability to add genuine pathos and soul to many of his characters. Here, we get something that feels half baked and overcooked at the same time. Too many characters, too many plot contrivances that happen out of absolutely nowhere and at the end of the day, it's just not worth the time, money or effort.
I wanted to leave the theater. I actually wanted it to end sooner. Gone was that feeling of being a 7 year old. The joy, the wonder the feeling of exhilaration...it's all gone.
I try not to be negative, I don't want to rant about things I hate. I want to spread joy, happiness and love. But so many times I found myself wanting to yell at the screen for insulting mine and the audience's collective intelligence and good faith that they had previously earned. When the final dance number (yes, dance number) happened I just felt embarrassed.
It left me thinking one thing: exactly who is this movie for? It's too dour and mean for kids, and not engaging or smart enough to appear to adults.
Oh, and I wanted to scream at what they did with Groot at the end too.