5/10
Not bad!
30 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
It might be a surprise to some of you that Tubi has a remake of Terror Train on their streaming service. Well, double that because they're already released the sequel just a few months after their 2022 remake.

Director Philippe Gagnon and writers Ian Carpenter and Aaron Martin have returned for what happens one year after the first film, as Alana (Robyn Alomar) and the Magician (Tim Rozon), as well as several other survivors have been talked into boarding the Terror Train one more time on New Year's Eve and riding it into another dark night. Certainly the new WiFi and improved security will stop another killer from wiping everyone out again, right?

We wouldn't have a movie if things went right.

Alana has struggled with PTSD over the past year, which has nearly derailed her medical school studies, yet her new best friend Claudia (Nia Roam) has helped her to piece things back together. It's her idea to kill off the old year and start new on the same train which has damaged her friend so much, yet she may not have Alana's best interests in mind. Speaking of her mind, Alana keeps seeing visions of her lost friend Mitchy (Emma Elle Paterson) nearly everywhere she goes, which causes major issues when the murder starts all over again, as she can't be certain of her reality any longer. The same trauma impacts the Magician, who barely survived being stabbed multiple times and has found that he can barely perform and is only on the train at the insistence of Prez (Dakota Jamal Wellman), another survivor piecing his life back together and using this night to get past the, well, past.

There's also a whole cadre of murder-obsessed mean girl social media influencers, like Pet (Romy Weltman), Morbid Merry (Tori Barban) and Lucy (Lisa Truong) who get off on being on the actual true crime train. The film hits the right notes way more often than the first film, as the exploration of returning back to the train feels like exploitation but it leans in and makes the more troubled -- and yet saner -- characters question why they're really here while the clout chasers have no idea that they're in danger. Hopefully new conductor Sadie (Nadine Bhabha) can erase the stigma of Carnie -- the SPOILER WARNING -- conductor killer of the first film in this remake cycle.

This has just as many twists as the remake but somehow, I liked this even more. Maybe it's because the lizard mask is back instead of just keeping the killer as a clown. Maybe it's just that I love surprises and seeing this show up was one of those. Or perhaps I just love slashers, with a Letterboxd list of nearly 750 of them to show for it. Either way -- I think you'll find something to like here. I could do without the CGI blood, but here's hoping for practical gore in the inevitable third remake sequel.
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