Review of No Such Thing

No Such Thing (2001)
7/10
Almost a Win
17 September 2022
I wanted to like this movie more than I did. By the start of the third act I was starting to get fidgety and irritable. Without walking through the entire movie I can say the first act was a perfect setup for what I thought was going to be an interesting ride. The acting was great, the character dichotomy is excellent, the settings are beautiful, the characters are mostly predictable stereotypes without being annoying about it. Then there's Beatrice. Her character is a puzzle box waiting to be opened. She is written in a way that we don't quite understand her actions and yet she's very likable, independent, and brave. Having survived death numerous times in the first half hour, she's earned an interesting character to look forward to. (potential spoil-It is odd that she doesn't show much emotion over her deceased fiance at the hands of the monster, except for one short moment, but it's forgivable for what she's been through up to this point.) The monster is almost a perfect inversion of Beatrice. Without breaking it all down they are made to be together on this journey.

Now, where the movie loses me is the second act. It feels like a completely different writer took over, or maybe the story was rewritten during the shoot, because the tone is totally different suddenly. In hindsight this was likely to ratchet up the stakes for the third act but it all feels ham fisted. There are dead spots where nothing much happens with our main characters, and the time is spent on creating a side plot villain. While all this is going on I'm dying to know more about our puzzling main characters to see more of how they interact with one another. The opportunity is also a missed for the monster to push the limits of the promise he made to Beatrice.

Now the third act. It felt like the story mostly got back on track from the first act, yet the military is now involved, and at the same time I have zero interest in what the military wants. Not much time in the story is spent on this third faction so I have zero cares about them. The final moment is shot really well. There's a sense of excitement leading up to it, but at the same time all that ham fisting from the second act falls flat. I think this climactic ending would've come across more meaningful had we spent more time with the two main characters rather than shoving in all the extra chatter in the second act.

Overall, I wanted to like it more than I did, but the casting, make up, directing, cinematography, and settings were excellent. It was just a convoluted story that should've been more simplified down to a self vs self that becomes a romantic tale. Instead we get a decaf version that can be construed into a mold that resembles such a film. I wanted to like it more, but it's still a decent watch.
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