This film made its premiere back in 2018 at a film festival, but then disappeared for four years, without any critics reviews or publicity. It is the directorial debut of the man best known for the Riverdance and Lord of the Dance, and when it finally hit cinemas, many critics described and dismissed it as a "vanity project". I had seen the trailer, it looked awful, and Mark Kermode had said it is "one of the worst movies ever made", so I couldn't help but be curious. Basically, in Ireland, Victor Blackley (Michael Flatley, also writing, producing, directing, and self-funding) is a secret agent, codenamed "Blackbird". But his colleague, and former lover, is killed during a foreign mission, she is buried in the garden of his stately home. He is visibly distressed, and rather than joining his boss The Head (Patrick Bergin) and his colleague Nick (Ian Beattie) at the wake, he walks away and disappears. Months later, Victor has retired from the secret service and has opened a hotel and nightclub in the Caribbean (like something out of Casablanca), with Nick working alongside him. Nick is shocked when he recognises Victor's old flame, Vivian (Nicole Evans), arriving at the hotel with her dangerous criminal fiancé Blake (Eric Roberts). Victor eventually encounters Vivian himself and is shaken by her presence. Victor's staff make discrete inquiries and discover that Blake is part of a secret society of war criminals and plans to sell a formula to another criminal. The formula used in the right hands can used to treat deadly diseases, but in the wrong hands it can be developed into a deadly toxin to create the opposite effect, breaking down bodily functions and killing people. Night club singer Maddie (Mary Louise Kelly) has feelings for Victor, and one night enters his room and undresses to try and seduce him, but he does not give into her advances. Victor is constantly warned by Nick about how dangerous Blake is, and the devastation the formula deal could have on the world, but Victor continually refuses to get involved, feeling it is no longer his duty. Victor is still haunted by flashbacks of the operation that went wrong and resulted in his lover being captured by terrorists, tied to a stake, and burned to death. Although Victor burst into the camp and killed the gang members, he was too late to save her, and seeing her suffering engulfed by flames, he was forced to shoot her to end her pain. Victor and Vivian spend some together, during which he asks her to find the formula Blake plans to sell. Maddie sees them close together and is extremely jealous, and in rage, tells Blake about this. Vivian was a secret agent herself once and was instructed to follow Blake to gain intelligence of any criminal activities, and in the process fell in love with him. Vivian refuses to believe that Blake is a criminal, but she finds the formula, which is given to Victor's staff who copy it. Blake's henchman confronts Victor, believing he is trying to foil Blake's plan, he manages to dispatch them with a single powerful right hook. Victor meets Blake who tries to rile him during a card game, having discovered his former identity as the "Blackbird", but Victor is not intimidated. Knowing Vivian has been getting closer to Victor, she is held hostage by Blake's men, and when Victor's staff member Kwan (Phillip Ray Tommy) goes to investigate, he is killed. Victor deals with three armed men and heads to the harbour where Vivian is being held. Victor trades the deadly formula with Blake for her freedom and is about to sell it to the other criminal. Along with Nick who followed Victor, they face Blake and his accomplices. They all aim guns at each other, Victor says "Shall we dance?" (an obvious and corny one-liner for a dancer) before a fire fight breaks out. The bad guys are killed while Victor and Nick escape with only minor wounds. The formula handed over turns out to have been compromised, with the real one safely transported to Victor's old agency in London. In the end, Victor returns to his stately home, and Vivian arrives in a taxi to reunite with him. Also starring Rachel Warren as Brea, Serhat Metin as Muhammed, Tony Fadil as Tony, Bryan Samson as Father Martin Byrne, Saif Al-Warith as Sayid, and Raha Rahbari as Grace. Flatley is a phenomenal professional dancer (he has his legs insured for $40 million), but he is no James Bond, he is as stiff as an ironing board, the only movement seems to come from his collection of fedora hats, while Roberts is a predictable villain, and Evans is unconvincing as the woman caught in the middle of the dodgy situation. Flatley's script is full of the most predictable and daft dialogue you can imagine ("Bless me father for I have sinned... and I'm about to sin again!"), the action (or rather lack of it) has no pace, the acting is terrible, there is no feeling of tension or excitement at any point, it looks good at times but with no substance, and the characters are undeveloped and unconvincing, it should have been recognised at the Razzies because it is just a silly, pointless and lacklustre spy thriller. Pretty poor!