Blackbird (II) (2022)
10/10
Blackbird has spoken.
2 September 2022
The nearest screening to me was over twenty miles away, but I riverdanced the whole way there to show support and I don't regret a single broken bone.

If I was Michael Flatley, I would just stare into a mirror all day and bestow glory unto myself, but this film is the next best thing.

Lord Michael plays Victor Blackley, a sort of MI6-but-Irish super-spy thingy who retires for a quiet life of nightclubbing in the tropics. Unfortunately, he is pestered by beautiful women and bad men who want to hurt him because they're jealous. Imagine James Bond in Casablanca, only better. King Michael's acting puts 'movie stars' like Daniel Craig, Tom Cruise and Jaden Smith to shame. Nobody wears a hat like Flatley.

The cinematography is visible, the score is full of brand new notes and the script is bursting with the best words currently available. The costumes are beautifully ironed. I left the cinema exhilarated. The rest of the audience appeared to be unconscious, but this was likely due to swooning.

Ten billion out of ten.
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