7/10
Desperately Seeking Shrewdness
23 August 2022
This is a movie premise brimming with potential. Rosanna Arquette is your average housewife: a good cook, supportive of her husband, and helplessly bored of her life. On a whim, she decides to go to a meetup for someone "desperately seeking Susan" that she sees in the paper. But things don't go as anyone expects.

This sort of premise would not seem out of place in a 30s screwball comedy. It completely captures the anything-can-happen idea that they all strive for. And yet, the movie ultimately falters.

To put it simply, the plot becomes a hot mess. Things get way too complicated for the movie to handle, and as the threads pile up you start to give up on caring about it at all. There are cases of mistaken identity, jewel thieves, cheating characters whose partners think they're faithful, faithful characters whose partners think they're cheating, amnesia, mobsters, and more.

Writing that out makes it sound like a lot of fun, right? On paper it is, but the film lacks the manic energy needed to pull it off. A film like "What's Up, Doc?" has an equally absurd plot, but because it feels so fun and freewheeling and wild the whole way through, you're completely swept up into the mayhem and enjoy the ride. Desperately Seeking Susan treats itself more seriously, to its detriment. And by the time the very anticlimactic finale comes around, you can't help but shake the feeling that the movie had barely started up at all.

Still, the movie has a lot going for it. Rosanna Arquette and (surprisingly) Madonna are both great. The former in particular gives what could have been a generic role a wonderful twist, and you really feel like she's brimming with life. The costume design and makeup are also insanely memorable. It's combines traditional 80s flair with a goth/punk vibe that sticks in your mind for days on end. And, of course, the song Into the Groove is one of Madonna's best, and one that suits the movie perfectly.

Would I recommend watching this? Tepidly. Yes, the plot is a major problem, but there's just enough wit, just enough spunk to make it worthwhile. If you want a high dose of 80s fun, go for it.

Final Score: 66/100.
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