3/10
Hear the music. Feel the beat. Fall asleep.
11 December 2019
Are there many better ways to waste an hour and a half than watching the gorgeous Mary Elizabeth Winstead strutting her stuff as a burlesque dancer? I didn't think so, but I was wrong. Winstead is breathtakingly beautiful, and sufficiently lithe and lissom for the role, but this derivative dance movie -- obviously inspired by films such as Flashdance, Fame, Breakin', and Coyote Ugly -- simply hasn't got the moves necessary for a good time.

Written by one-trick-pony Duane Adler (check out his filmography to see what I mean), this predictable urban fantasy piles on the clichés from the get-go: girl from Hicksville dreams of making it big - check! Her only family is her hard-working mechanic brother - check! She fails to make it through her audition - check! She takes a job at a nightclub where she falls for the nice guy DJ - check! Brother pays her a surprise visit and is shocked to see her on stage - check! Nice guy DJ convinces her to re-audition - check! She wows the choreographer and gets a place at dance school - check! Everyone is pleased for her, even her brother, who has had a change of heart - check!

Director Darren Grant injects very little life into proceedings: the drama is instantly forgettable, but even the dance scenes - surely the most important aspect of this genre - are incredibly bland. Don't expect any iconic moments a la Jennifer Beals water/chair moment in Flashdance - there aren't any. Don't look for cool moves as busted by Boogaloo Shrimp and Shabba-Doo in Breakin' - there aren't any. Winstead tries her best but the choreography is terrible - the final routine for her second audition isn't any better than her first attempt, but I guess failing twice wouldn't have been clichéd enough for this kind of tripe.

I watched for Winstead, but should have watched something else instead. 3/10.
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