Christmas Break-In (2019) U Netflix
Oh wow. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. When I coined the term 'Christmas Crapola Movie' it was meant to mean festive films that were lame but, hopefully, enjoyably so. There is nothing enjoyable about this pile of poopola.
Christmas Break-In is a desperately poor man's Home Alone, right down to:
The plot (A kid is left in a school on their own and has to defend it from baddie thieves) The baddies being called 'The Ice Cream Truck Bandits' The parents realising they've forgotten their kid and yelling in unison 'We did it again!' The kid running screaming down the corridors yelling as they go nuts when they realise they're on their own The kid setting home made traps to catch the baddies A 'traps being prepared by the kid' montage Befriending a lonely old man at the denouement
Despite its lack of originality, Christmas Break-In could have been fun knockabout nonsense. It isn't. It's horrifically poor on every level. The biggest question is, despite the presence of actual actors you've heard of (Danny Glover and Denise Richards): WHY CAN NO ONE IN THIS FILM ACT? AT ALL? IT'S YOUR JOB, DAMMIT!
Christmas Cheese Rating: 6/10. They've made a token attempt with the decor and odd bits here and there, but it doesn't even feel very Christmassy.
Snow Rating: 9/10. The backdrop is a big winter storm blowing in, so they've gone somewhere snowy to actually film this. No scenes where you can tell they've just sprayed a fire extinguisher around, thankfully.
Actually Any Good Rating: 3/10. This is just embarrassingly bad. I only watched it to the end so I could tell you how terrible it was. You don't need to bother. Even your kids will be bored. Just rewatch Home Alone instead.
Oh wow. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. When I coined the term 'Christmas Crapola Movie' it was meant to mean festive films that were lame but, hopefully, enjoyably so. There is nothing enjoyable about this pile of poopola.
Christmas Break-In is a desperately poor man's Home Alone, right down to:
The plot (A kid is left in a school on their own and has to defend it from baddie thieves) The baddies being called 'The Ice Cream Truck Bandits' The parents realising they've forgotten their kid and yelling in unison 'We did it again!' The kid running screaming down the corridors yelling as they go nuts when they realise they're on their own The kid setting home made traps to catch the baddies A 'traps being prepared by the kid' montage Befriending a lonely old man at the denouement
Despite its lack of originality, Christmas Break-In could have been fun knockabout nonsense. It isn't. It's horrifically poor on every level. The biggest question is, despite the presence of actual actors you've heard of (Danny Glover and Denise Richards): WHY CAN NO ONE IN THIS FILM ACT? AT ALL? IT'S YOUR JOB, DAMMIT!
Christmas Cheese Rating: 6/10. They've made a token attempt with the decor and odd bits here and there, but it doesn't even feel very Christmassy.
Snow Rating: 9/10. The backdrop is a big winter storm blowing in, so they've gone somewhere snowy to actually film this. No scenes where you can tell they've just sprayed a fire extinguisher around, thankfully.
Actually Any Good Rating: 3/10. This is just embarrassingly bad. I only watched it to the end so I could tell you how terrible it was. You don't need to bother. Even your kids will be bored. Just rewatch Home Alone instead.