Knife + Heart (2018)
2/10
A stylish yet astoundingly derivative dumpster fire
27 August 2019
Cultural stereotypes abound in this test of patience from France, acted so broadly that it makes the Three Stooges look subtle. Vanessa Paradis is charming in her own way, but she can't carry this poorly-composed dumpster fire, even if it is beautifully-shot and has a gorgeous soundtrack from M83.

Make no mistake: this is a movie more about a failed lesbian love affair than it is anything else, and it's about as enjoyable as watching a series of hate crimes. Which is to say, not at all. It's unforgivably boring, and for a French film and a film dealing with gay pornography as a focus, it's also terrified of actually committing to the topic. There's barely any nudity to speak of, and certainly nothing surprising or even approaching shocking. If you're going to make a lurid horror film about a violent killer in the very sketchy territory of porn production -- especially gay porn -- you have to actually commit to it. Real giallo didn't exactly shy away from nudity or sex and, even if most of the movies weren't much count, they at least could keep an audience engaged with things happening, whether or not they led to a satisfying conclusion.

But speaking as a gay man and someone who has seen quite a lot of both French cinema and gay cinema (not to mention giallo), this was less than mediocre at best and incredibly offensive at worst. All in all, it's boring, and that's one of the worst things something supposed to entertain can be. Inane, pretentious, unhappy, unentertaining, unamusing, and incredibly superficial -- that's this movie. When it's at its lowest, it comes off as a homophobic parade of poorly-written and poorly-realized nonsense. When it's at its best, it relies on visuals and score...which makes the story pointless.

It's a shame, since the same director also did You And The Night, which was a fantastic film. You And The Night worked because it was a fantasy, with a tremendous magic to the thread of its story, and its at-times incoherent quality seemed dreamlike and engaging. It's a much better choice to watch than this turd, and it's also given a soundtrack by the brilliant M83. Watch it instead.
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