Robin Hood (2018)
1/10
I wanted to like it. I couldn't manage it.
26 November 2018
If anyone reads this, it's likely because you're either reading a bunch of reviews because you can't decide if a ticket is worth it, or you hated it and are reading all the 1 star reviews so you can say "thank you" multiple times when you read a criticism you agree with. If you're the latter, welcome, you're among friends. If you're the former, I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't see or love this movie, clearly some people do, I'm just going to lay out why I can't.

It's built on clichés and one-liners, and scenes seem to be written around setting that up, if they set it up at all. Even in the credits, next to the actors name and icon, the most dramatic quotes their character had is written next to them. Most of the lines are written to serve the drama as opposed to being substantive or sensible. There's even a scene with a mildly villainous character doing the maniacal laugher ended by angry scream with the dramatic music in the background, and it literally comes out of nowhere. There was no set up for that character doing that, and it made the whole thing feel silly. Imagine a play built only on the soliloquies of Shakespearean tragedies mixed with every cliché about love giving strength in despair, but lacking any real sense of plot or structure. That is this film.

Also, the action sequences are filmed like an over the top modern war movie. There's literally a slo-mo scene where some of the characters are driving away from an explosion. I'm not saying there's no place for that in a period movie, but it was executed lazily and without much thought about how to do that and do justice to the combat of the time period.

Basically this is just a standard subpar action movie with a Robin Hood skin. Splashy effects and dialogue with no effort given to make it cohesive or new or worthwhile. I'm usually the person in a group who's more forgiving of bad movies than others are, but I just can't with this one. I kept trying to enjoy it throughout the movie, and it felt like it was fighting me the whole time.
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