3/10
Someone took a Hammer to the legend of the cult gothic soap opera!
31 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Most of the major characters are back for those who did not get to watch the daily serial "Dark Shadows" in this big screen version of that Dan Curtis campfest. Looking like a cross between a Hammer horror film and an American International gothic melodrama, this lacks a strong continuity which results in this being a disappointment as a big screen condensed synopsis of what had happened in Collinwood just a few years before. Unfortunately, the script starts off with a wimper, never fully develops all of the important characters, so you feel like you are getting an empty egg shell of the show's bible without the all important yolk. Joan Bennett, still glamorous and commanding as matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, doesn't really get to do much but be regal and grieving, as people around her begin to die off one by one thanks to a vampire curse that goes back several centuries. Coming to Collinwood in the midst of this is Jonathan Frid's Barnabas Collins, a look-alike descendant to a long forgotten branch of the family that left centuries before supposedly for England. Frid quickly moves into the abandoned ancestral home which becomes quickly filled with the graves of his victims, revealing the truth about his real identity. Along comes the genius Dr. Julia Hoffman (Grayson Hall) who by chance discovers the secret and offers to cure him, but at what cost is yet to be determined. When her treatments take a nasty turn, you want to break into a variation of that Leslie Bricusse classic, singing "What Kind of Ghoul am I?"

Of course, every long dead vampire must have an unrequitted love, and in this case, it's Kathryn Leigh Scott's Maggie, whom Barnabas wants to join together with to be gloriously undead forever. Louis Edmunds as Elizabeth's brother, Roger, deals with unruly son David Hennessy, while Bennett's daughter, Carolyn (Nancy Barrett) becomes obsessed with Barnabas even though she's in love with local hero Roger Davis. It becomes a battle of wills between those who want to destroy whoever is killing local residents in this brutal manner, the fanged Barnabas himself, and of course, Dr. Hoffman who gets the shock of her life when her jealousy over Barnabas's love for another woman makes her (quoting Hall in "The Night of the Iguana") "take steps". There are far too many characters, so little development, and the motivations are clearly missed, having been written out on a daily basis. With vampire movies coming out by the dozen through Hammer horror (starring the far more dashing Christopher Lee), this seems like a cheap imitation. As a soap historian, I have enjoyed the parts of the series I have seen, and would have liked for this to have been better. Still, it's campy fun (especially Frid's sudden change into a ghoulish looking old man), much better than the pathetic Tim Burton remake, but the ending battle for the souls of the living and newly dead, goes on far too long.
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