1/10
And...we hit rock bottom
5 September 2018
NOW we're scraping the bottom of the barrel, as the Nazisploitation genre kicks into gear with a film that's both offensive and snooze inducing, featuring a career low from John Steiner. His terrible acting in fact is the only thing that will keep you awake.

A bunch of women are taken to a special camp to join Ian Curtis and Peter Hook in Joy Division. There's the usual bunch of aggressive lesbians who all want a piece of this and that and aren't averse to having a cat fight in order to find out who is the top carpet muncher on camp. Meanwhile (and I'm struggling here as the plot just sort of ties all the usual exploitation crap together) John Steiner is the guy and charge and he's delighted to find that his ex-girlfriend is one of the prisoners. That's not so lucky for her mind you, ending up in a Nazi camp with an irate ex in charge. Revenge porn kind of pales in comparison.

The relentless barrage of crap in this film involves Steiner trying to get his ex to fall in love with him which invariably leads to her getting beaten and tortured, being forced to witness sex acts (YOU WILL VIEW MY SPECTACLE - Steiner screams), gets it on with a camp guard to make Steiner jealous (whom he bums in the funniest scene in the film), while the other inmates are beaten, showered, glowered at, ogled, tortured and murdered, all done in a rather cheap fashion which causes the viewer to start nodding off.

What was Steiner thinking? Things come to a head when Big John ends up getting little John torn to shreds with a fanny/razor blade combo. What a pile of crap. I'm only watching it because when I set out to watch all these films I figured I'd see how low things got in the Italian film industry. The answer is: very low. Who was this film aimed at? All those escaped Nazis in South America?

And there you have it: My review of The Departed: US Special Edition
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