Two reasons for 2 stars instead of 1:
1. Jessica Biel appears in it (not stars in it, otherwise it would get 3-4 stars)
2. 1 star is reserved for truly stupid films.
Oh, wait. This IS a truly stupid film, so Jessica Biel is the only reason it's got 2 stars.
I don't want to reveal any plot lines, even though it's difficult to see how this terrible movie could be spoiled any more rankly.
The only explanation for this monstrous work of cinematic bathos I can conjure up is that, one night, two (or more) hack script-writers got stoned with extreme prejudice and set to work on a bet that they could produce - in one night - the worst and sappiest collection of unlikely plot-lines ever devised by even semi-human minds, yet fill their to the brim with asinine emotional conceits which could tug mightily at the heart-strings of the most gullible of tear-jerk junkies.
Part of the bet had to have been that no re-writes were to be done, and it's quite apparent that none were even contemplated. Perhaps the worst thing about the film is that the story inhabits neither reality nor fantasy, but rather a two-dimensional world fabricated entirely of artificial notions of what it would be like to be alive. Verisimilitude was literally ejected forcibly from the movie at scene 1, take 1, never to be allowed back into the studio.
Oh, wait. This IS a truly stupid film, so Jessica Biel is the only reason it's got 2 stars.
I don't want to reveal any plot lines, even though it's difficult to see how this terrible movie could be spoiled any more rankly.
The only explanation for this monstrous work of cinematic bathos I can conjure up is that, one night, two (or more) hack script-writers got stoned with extreme prejudice and set to work on a bet that they could produce - in one night - the worst and sappiest collection of unlikely plot-lines ever devised by even semi-human minds, yet fill their to the brim with asinine emotional conceits which could tug mightily at the heart-strings of the most gullible of tear-jerk junkies.
Part of the bet had to have been that no re-writes were to be done, and it's quite apparent that none were even contemplated. Perhaps the worst thing about the film is that the story inhabits neither reality nor fantasy, but rather a two-dimensional world fabricated entirely of artificial notions of what it would be like to be alive. Verisimilitude was literally ejected forcibly from the movie at scene 1, take 1, never to be allowed back into the studio.