Andrew V. McLaglen's lackluster western comedy of errors "Something Big" amounts to nothing big. This hokum is about as bloodless as you can imagine, and McLaglen and "Undefeated" scenarist James Lee Barrett have contrived a dusty southwestern horse opera about a free-wheeling gunslinger, Joe Baker (Dean Martin) who rides around with cute doggie in a bag and 30-year cavalry Colonel Morgan (Brian Keith of "The Deadly Companions") on the verge of retirement. Baker (Dean Martin of "Five Card Stud") plans to do 'something big' that requires the use of a Gatling gun. The man who can deliver a Gatling gun to Baker wants to be paid off with a woman. Johnny Cobb (Albert Salmi of "Lawman") doesn't want to be paid off in money. Cobb's request drives poor Baker crazy because he cannot find a suitable woman for this quirky lug of a guy who lives with a bounty on his head and cannot set foot outside of his bailiwick. Meantime, the first decent woman that Baker finds for Cobb turns out to be Mary Anna Morgan (Honor Blackman of "Shalako"), the wife of Colonel Morgan. Morgan leads a detachment from the fort to recover his wife. As it turns out, Mary Anna has a soft spot for Baker and vouches for him to her stiff collared husband. He wants to confiscate the Gatling gun, but Mary Anna informs him that he has been retired for two days. Baker appropriates the Gatling gun, hightails it to Mexico, and wipes out a bandit stronghold that belongs to the most notorious bandit, Emilio Estevez (José Ángel Espinoza of "Big Jake"), who supposedly has a cache of treasure in a mission. At the same time, Baker is being stalked by Dover MacBride (Carol White of "A Prize of Gold"), a woman from Pittsburgh that he promised to marry.
"Something Big" benefits from a seasoned cast of western veterans, including familiar faces like Bob Steele, Edward Faulkner, Ben Johnson, Denver Pyle, Harry Carey, Jr., and Paul Fix. The saving grace is that this horse opera looks like a western. This shouldn't be surprising when you consider that McLaglen had done five westerns with John Wayne. The real shooting doesn't start until the final reel, but it is nothing like a profane, blood-splattered, Sam Peckinpah western. Everything before the big shootout at the end involves Baker planning his incursion against the dastardly Mexicans. Martin saunters through the role without a care in the world. You can tell when his stunt man is performing his riding chores. Sometimes, we do get to see Dino riding hard across the terrain. Basically, what we have in a cowboy version of "The Rat Patrol" with Dino in the back of a wagon cranking the handle on a multi-barreled Gatling gun and mowing down Mexicans by the dozens. If you've seen any John Ford westerns, such as "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon," you can spot the obvious reference that McLaglen and Barrett make to that classic John Wayne western. The Marvin Hamlisch orchestral soundtrack sounds like McLaglen and he were trying to imitate Burt Bacharach, complete with a song. According to McLaglen, the company that released "Something Big" went bankrupt and "Something Big" languished at the box office. This was Martin's second-to-last western, with "Showdown" qualifying as his last sagebrusher. If you enjoy bland westerns that refuse to take themselves seriously, "Something Big" is for you.
"Something Big" benefits from a seasoned cast of western veterans, including familiar faces like Bob Steele, Edward Faulkner, Ben Johnson, Denver Pyle, Harry Carey, Jr., and Paul Fix. The saving grace is that this horse opera looks like a western. This shouldn't be surprising when you consider that McLaglen had done five westerns with John Wayne. The real shooting doesn't start until the final reel, but it is nothing like a profane, blood-splattered, Sam Peckinpah western. Everything before the big shootout at the end involves Baker planning his incursion against the dastardly Mexicans. Martin saunters through the role without a care in the world. You can tell when his stunt man is performing his riding chores. Sometimes, we do get to see Dino riding hard across the terrain. Basically, what we have in a cowboy version of "The Rat Patrol" with Dino in the back of a wagon cranking the handle on a multi-barreled Gatling gun and mowing down Mexicans by the dozens. If you've seen any John Ford westerns, such as "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon," you can spot the obvious reference that McLaglen and Barrett make to that classic John Wayne western. The Marvin Hamlisch orchestral soundtrack sounds like McLaglen and he were trying to imitate Burt Bacharach, complete with a song. According to McLaglen, the company that released "Something Big" went bankrupt and "Something Big" languished at the box office. This was Martin's second-to-last western, with "Showdown" qualifying as his last sagebrusher. If you enjoy bland westerns that refuse to take themselves seriously, "Something Big" is for you.