The Bride (I) (2013)
1/10
Can You Say AWFUL?
25 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
First of all, I watched this On Demand. It was "advertised" as being "in Spanish (sub-titled"). I thought since this might be a movie from Mexico--and I did like "Mexico Barbosa," I thought what the heck. Well, the movie was NOT sub-titled. Why that happened I guess I'll never know. But it gets way worse.

Supposedly a tale about a vengeful Apache warrior princess whose husband (and everyone else) got massacred on her wedding day. Her spirit is looking for someone to help her avenge this wrongdoing. Uh, anyone else besides me seen "Avenged"? This could have been a really bad remake of an already real bad movie, but amazingly this mess made "Avenged" look like an Oscar contender. This was a direct rip-off of that movie: same premise, same disgusting gang rape scene, same men lacking opposable thumbs, same bad effects. Someone ought to sue somebody.

This steaming pile of feces was awful--from the acting, to the directing, to the writing, to the editing, to the non-special effects, yep, it touched on all bases. I can always tell when there really is no talented screen writer because the dialogue usually turns to non- stop "F" bombs. There is no character development. There is nothing.

Unrated for rape, sodomy, language, and graphic violence. Awful, and not recommended.
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