5/10
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked
19 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Molly C Quinn, the hot little strawberry blond from Castle, is Gretel, while Michael Welch (know to the Twilight folks specifically and to zombie fans with his role in Z-Nation) is her brother, Hansel. Gretel, her brother, and her boyfriend all love smoking pot. There's a "cute grandma" selling pot and brownies not too far from where they live…yeah, she's a witch. She has the ability to drain "youth" from others, and so potheads arriving at her door offer the perfect victims to "suck dry". Lara Flynn Boyle, at first in old age makeup, soon has returned to her 40s thanks to the youth of Andrew James Allen (Gretel's beau).

Part of the comedy is how busy the knocks at Boyle's door become. At one point she just shoots two cops who answer concerns of missing people possibly tied to her (Yancy Butler and Lochlyn Munro in small, but humorous, supporting parts…part of the joke is that the film builds them going to the house only for them to be "dispatched" rather quickly), while her gory mistreatment of Allen is particularly gruesome (eye gouging with a fork she pops in her mouth after the fact and she chews on meat sawed from his leg, throwing a chunk to her dog!) and prolonged. A couple of victims (including a drug dealer of her weed who becomes too much trouble and a trio of drug supplying goons outraged with her selling on their turf) turn into zombies and go after our young dope-head heroes. You just have to see the throat slashing (it goes over the top by having the victim jerking and bleeding like a stuck pig) and an upside down "blood drain" (through the use of a hose turn spout!), not to mention, the ole "yank out the heart" gag are included for extra ultra violence. Boyle keeps the face straight although the part is absurd. She literally goes into the oven and even makes out with Latina babe, Bianca Saad, at one point, as Quinn searches throughout her house for the boyfriend. Boyle even has a bomb shelter converted into a pot farm! Cary Elwes is barely recognizable as a meter man who picks up a black cat seemingly abandoned and pays for it. As you might expect, there's plenty of "pot humor" to go with the grue. Definitely a kitchen sink movie.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed